The Way of Water (I) & The Long Spell of Rain (2)
by Lian-hua
Summary: This is the nice, fixed version, some small changes, some additions, different ending on the first part. . Overall, a big long mess of romance and intrigue. Enjoy.
1. Default Chapter

water1 **The Way of Water**   
**by Lian-hua aka Pooky**

**~ **I've revised and corrected this and added the bits I'd originally cut out. The old version is on a CDR somewhere, so if anyone wants it for any reason feel free to e-mail and ask. Mulan, Li Shang, General Li, Chi fu, the Go3 and Shan-yu belong to Disney. Meng Tai-shan, Li Tie-lin and others belong to me. Touch them and you die. This is rated PG for violence, hormones and I think some off-screen sex (not with mu/sh though). Otherwise, it's pretty clean. ~   


**CHAPTER ONE**   


"Shang! Shang!" Mulan almost had to run to keep up with him, he was stalking across the grass with a scroll in one hand, clutching it angrily. "Will you at least tell me what's going on?"   
  
They had been carrying on this way for five minutes, for five minutes she had been left muttering to only his red cloak and topknot. It would have been just a small courtesy to inform her of why she had been dragged from her home and ushered to Ch'ang-an at all speed. During the journey he had been friendly in his reserved way, but proved even better at deflecting questions than he was blows. She would find out soon enough, he said, unhappily. It was only an hour ago that he was called by the Emperor only to return with the scroll in question. Unhappy had become a whopping understatement.   
  
Finally he whirled around in a swirl of bright crimson, relaxing his hand just enough to unfurl the parchment and read it again, his eyes narrowing and darkening anew before pushing it closed once more. For a moment she thought he had only meant to read it for himself, he seemed to have forgotten she was there entirely. Finally he sighed and looked up.   
  
"He's alive, he has an army, and he's marching on the border."   
  
It was so curt and cold, at least anyone else might have thought so, but at the same time it was so angry. She did not have to ask who "he" was, she did not have to think long to understand why he looked both completely detached yet on the verge of an outburst at the same time, she could only briefly wonder how he managed it. The man who had killed his father was still alive, what filial son would not think first and only of revenge? He was a filial son, she knew that, his respect for his father was so deep it was in his bones. He loved his father as much as she loved hers, that allowed them to share an understanding, an understanding which had saved her life once.   
  
When she spoke, she hoped to sound soothing. Men needed soothing, especially him, a strange yet fond thought for the circumstances. "How did he escape? It seems impossible."   
  
"If you want something badly enough, Mulan, nothing is impossible," He spoke with his old ease, captain to recruit, or was it general to whatever she was now? "I'm not supposed to tell you this, I could be executed for it but," he rubbed one side of his head, wincing, she could see he was tired. "There seems to be a little bit of treason, there's no other way he could have gotten across the border. A general doesn't meddle with politics, not if he values his life and career. Well, I've already got a headache for today. It's the Emperor's job to find the traitor, mine is just to kill Shan Yu."   
  
Mulan blinked, not sure of what to say. "And me?" She asked with a bit of hesitation.   
  
"Ah, yes, you." He looked so stern, as when she had first met him, no trace of friendship or affection. It did sting just a little. "I forgot that part. The Emperor wishes you on the battlefield again, he will make you General Fa at a banquet tonight, held in your honor."   
  
Mulan seized his arm. "I can't attend a formal banquet, I mean," sighing, she let go. "I mean I can't be a general. Whatever I managed was simple good luck and common sense. I have no talent, learning or experience for such a responsibility, I.."   
  
She cut off when she realized he was laughing at her, she folded her arms and glared until he stopped. "I'm sorry, Mulan, but I could stand here and recite Sun Tzu's every word. I could tell you so many stories from the history books, but it amounts to nothing when you're out there. Good judgment, Mulan, and a little bit of courage. For these things, you are worth your weight in jade." Clearing his throat, he was all sternness again. "Now stop acting like a village girl. You are the great lady now, don't dishonor yourself." With that he turned back in the direction of the Palace, motioning for her to follow.   
  
"But Shang," she trotted after him through the courtyard, beautiful but hardly glanced at in her frenzy. She hoped he at least considered her enough of a friend to let her pester him a bit. Between them, things were very uncertain. "I don't feel right about this. Couldn't I tell the Emperor that I just don't think I can handle the responsibility?"   
  
Again, that rich laughter, he turned over his shoulder to cast her a puzzled yet annoyed glance, shrugging his shoulders as if to say a woman's thoughts were beyond him. "If it were that easy, Mulan, I wouldn't have a headache right now." She frowned, wounded at the prospect of him not wanting her around, of him not wanting her to wear a rank equal to his. It was a relief when he shook his head, facing her and walking backwards as he spoke. "You know that's not what I mean." It was a clear scolding, she blinked, surprised at how well he read her thoughts. "Do you think anyone ever gave me a choice? I was born for this, to be a general, and although I love my country I wish it weren't that way. Well, we were both chosen and that's the way it is, we're fated to worry every minute hoping we make the right choice for our men and our country. Complaining doesn't change it, so you may as well save the energy." She was about to tell him to be careful of the tiger statue behind him, but a mere foot away from colliding into it he swirled around again and stepped easily aside. Mulan bit her lip, showoff.   
  
"I guess you're right," she sighed reluctantly, there was no way around this.   
  
"I wish I weren't," he answered quietly, then laid a brief hand on her shoulder, that was considered affection among soldiers. "You'll do fine, and you won't be alone. I have all the knowledge and training, and you," the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Well you have your crazy ideas. Should be interesting."   
  
"Think so?" She wished she wasn't blushing.   
  
He nodded. "You know I don't like repeating myself. Now hurry up, there's a banquet tonight, remember? I at least don't want to look like I've been traveling for days." 

~ * ~   
  
In all her life, Mulan had never seen anything like an Imperial banquet. Not only was the hall decorated so brightly that her eyes could find no relief from the color of vivid flowers and garlands, but the cheerful music was impossible to escape as well. She was seated beside Shang at the Emperor's right, he was closest to Emperor Zhongzong since he was the highest ranking general, and she the next, while the other important captains sat in their respective order beside her. Chi fu sat to the Emperor's left, flanked by noblemen and ministers of varying rank. Aside from the Empress, no other women were seated at the main table. Mulan felt a bit strange in the midst of all these honored soldiers, adorned in a gown of tapestried blues and reds, with real gold thread at the borders. A little jeweled crown rested on her head, dangling with bells and topping a hairstyle so elaborate she thought it must be impossible to duplicate. She tried not to even think about the amount of make up she wore. It seemed the more the servants heard of her exploits, the more determined they were to show off her beauty. Had she heard of Hu the Tiger, they asked her? He had a bodyguard of warrior women dressed like dolls. Of course she had, people hung themselves on trees rather than face him, the point being?   
  
If the decor wasn't splendid enough, the entertainment showed it up well. Lithe dancers swirled white streamers of flowing ramie cloth, while another troupe of men came out with weapons and bright flags. "The Sword Dance of the King of Qin," Shang narrated, noticing her rapture. "They tell the story of Li Shiman, the Prince of Qin, and how he triumphed over the Turks for the glory of our country, how he became the great Emperor Taizong."   
  
She noted the pride in his voice. "You admire him," it was not a question. Emperor Taizong was a hero, and after his father, had saved China from the disunity of the Sui.   
  
"More than that," his gaze strayed from the dancers into his wine cup. "He was my great grandfather. As you can see, we have quite a military tradition in our family. A lot to live up to." Putting his cup down, he sighed and turned back to watching the performance. "For almost a thousand years my family has served the Empire, from assisting Liu Bang in ending the tyranny of the Zhao family, to the great Li Kuang who gave his life in service to Wu-ti, and saving his people from the barbarians. We come from proud bloodlines."   
  
Mulan was intrigued, she had not heard he was of Imperial blood before. "Did your family serve Empress Wu with as much loyalty? The first Empress of China, and she ruled for twenty one years." Or so her father had told her, she had reigned in his lifetime.   
  
"Of course my family served her, she was my uncle's wife. But she was not the first. Empress Lu was the first, about nine hundred years ago now."   
  
Her eyes brightened with curiosity. "Who was Empress Lu?" She wished she could have been a boy to be sent away to school.   
  
"Empress Lu?" he laughed a little. "Now she was a tigress. Liu Bang - the Han Emperor Gaozu - had a favorite concubine, the Lady Qi, not only did she poison this woman's son, but after Liu Bang died, the empress cut off Lady Qi's hands and feet, gouged out her eyes, made her mute and locked her in an outhouse, screaming that she was a pig. I hope my family assisted in her death."   
  
Her father had never told her that story before. Shang's knowledge of history impressed her. Still, she did not like the idea of it. "Well what do you expect? She was jealous of this other wife." Mulan could not imagine what she would do if her father took another wife.   
  
"Then she should have cut off Liu Bang's hands and feet," Shang answered simply, Mulan swallowed, not expecting this. "The Emperor loved Lady Qi, Mulan, I'm sure Empress Lu could have cared less. She wanted power, and was angry when Lady Qi's son was suggested as Crown Prince."   
  
"Well emperors are guilty of worse things. What about Yang Guang of the Sui Dynasty who killed his older brother for the throne?"   
  
Shang gave a puzzled look as if she had said something foolish, she supposed she must have, but had no idea what. She was not educated as he was. "It's not the same thing. You expect cruelty and ruthlessness from men, not from a woman." Mulan stiffened and glared at him as he took another sip of wine. "I meant it as a compliment to your kind," he said after a bit. "Cruelty and ruthlessness aren't things to be prized."   
  
She had to smile at that, the error in it. Women were cruel, they had been cruel to her all her life, saying no man would want her and she was worth nothing. Her father was compassionate, Shang was compassionate even in his own way.   
  
"The Rainbow and Feather Garments Dance," he continued his narration as another troupe took the stage, all beautiful women in colorful silk. She watched him eye them with appreciation, groaning inside.   
  
This was her chance to impress him. "I can dance, and sing too," she announced proudly.   
  
All of a sudden Shang looked nervously from her to the Emperor, surreptitiously leaning closer. "Be quiet, Mulan." He threw a covert glance back at the Emperor, who was too engrossed to notice. Mulan did not know whether to smile or kick Shang under the table, surely he did not think the emperor would snatch her up as a concubine!   
  
The Emperor finally did look their way, although he was oblivious and unaware of their conversation, all of his conversation had been with Chi fu, who seemed to demand attention. The hall grew silent when he stood and held up his goblet. "I raise a toast, to the our lady general Fa Mulan, may she bring us many victories and good fortune."   
  
Everyone at the great table took up the toast, though she could see a few sneers from the men around her, particularly Chi fu. Mulan did her best to ignore them.   
  
Food was brought, dishes of fried sea scallions in oyster sauce, dumplings with a kind of clear soup and black mushrooms. "The Royal Marriage," Shang named the dish. It was certainly rich to the taste. There were fried tenderloins of beef served with vegetables, along with prawns and walnuts. A fried rice dish was brought which Shang called "Lotus Fairy," as the balls of rice were wrapped in lotus leaves. Mulan sampled all of these careful to mind her manners, she did not want to remind everyone of her simple upbringing, especially the man beside her, who shared the blood of a great king.   
  
After the meal, the guests were treated to seasoned fruits and jasmine tea, Mulan was thankful no one expected her to pour. She envied the grace of the serving women, wagering they had never spilled their tea or sabotaged their meetings with the Matchmaker. At least Shang was not eyeballing them the way the other men were.   
  
"Our lady general enjoys the splendor of my court," the Emperor declared with amusement. Only the Empress smiled, a willowy woman with a pale, pretty face, not even old enough to be her mother. The others either snickered behind their cups or looked bored whenever attention was direction towards her.   
  
Mulan felt her cheeks warm, she hoped she managed to look at least somewhat dignified, not just a country girl who gaped at every colorful thing before her. "I am in awe of Your Majesty's exquisite taste." She hoped that was the right answer. It seemed to be, he smiled at her and then over at the foreign dancers who performed some hip swaying style with bells and coins around their waists and ankles, posing in elaborate arm movements that made them lithe as serpents.   
  
"These women come from Arab lands," the Emperor took up Shang's self-imposed duty. "And Byzantium. In the west they think Constantinople the grandest city in the world, until they come here. Still, each is exquisite, these dancers, chosen for their beauty and grace, a gift of good will from their homelands.   
  
Shang smiled all of a sudden. "With all due respect, Your Majesty, I don't think Fa Mulan is very impressed by rare and beautiful women." The entire table burst into laughter, even Chi fu. If Mulan was blushing before, her cheeks were as red as the plum wine by now.   
  
"To be sure, General Li," The Emperor laughed richly. "What would our lady general like? She must have some gift for her services to this empire."   
  
Mulan started to speak, to assure him that she wanted nothing. But Shang spoke for her. "I think General Fa would be more impressed with books to read. An Imperial General cannot be without an education."   
  
"A woman? Educated? Can she even read?" Chi fu spoke up, the other men nodded.   
She glared at him. "My father taught me, but we had few books in the house."   
  
"Li Shang brings up an excellent idea," the Emperor smiled. "On your journey, Fa Mulan, you will be supplied with all the important military books and scrolls which every officer should be familiar with. When you return, I will grant you a place in the National Academy. Li Shang was an excellent student, I will make it his duty to see that you succeed at your lessons."   
  
Shang nodded, and Mulan smiled nervously. She wondered why he did this, she hoped it was not because he could not stand a peasant's ignorance. Whatever his reason, it would give her a chance to stay close to him.   



	2. Chapter Two

water2 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Lian-hua 

CHAPTER TWO 

For this campaign, the preparations were not made at the Wu Zhong camp. Mulan and Shang began their journey the next morning for the grand city of Louyang, a sort of second capital northeast of Ch'ang-an. The Imperial elite were trained in Louyang, at the famous military complex. 

"I grew up here," Shang made a hand gesture towards the approaching city, which looked much like Ch'ang-an from outside its gates. "I like it better than Ch'ang-an." Mulan nodded but sighed. He would tell her anything about the military, history, or the sights as they passed, but during the week they had been in close company he made neither suggestion nor denial of any sort of feelings for her. He was always talkative, but rarely personal. Uncertainty seemed alright with men in her experience of them, but women always had to have clearly defined relationships. They were either only friends, or betrothed, there was no in between. She tried not to cling to any hopes for the two of them, although her new rise to rank put aside the question of social standing. A great general was a great general, no one bothered to think about his background until it came time to write the histories, a great general came next to the Emperor. Still, she wished for a sign, to keep hoping or to abandon her daydreams and get on with it. It was hard not to be irritable, he had no idea what she was thinking, but the early summer heat and his impersonal chatter were not a good combination. 

"I'd like it better if Chi fu weren't coming with us," Mulan glanced at the scrawny old man over her shoulder, riding in a carriage some distance behind. They had a hundred men with them, officers and their entourage, Chi fu did not seem to want to be mixed up with any of them. She wondered if Shang felt like the others were staring at the two of them, she could almost feel the snickers behind her back. 

He hardly seemed bothered though, but rode his spotted horse Xiang with his usual confidence. "You'll like it better when you get to camp, Yao and Ling are waiting there, and Chien Po. Ling and Chien Po have been appointed my lieutenants, you can have Yao as yours, I've got to keep him away from Yao somehow." 

Well that was something to be relieved about, at least she would see some familiar faces. "Is there anything else I should know?" She was tired of getting information at the last minute. 

"Well," he looked thoughtful. "We can't discuss plans until we have all the maps, they'll have more information for us at camp. For now I've told you all I know. Have you finished reading your book?" 

A pleasant change of subject. "I did. Why did Qin Shi Huang-ti kill all those scholars in Xian Yang? And he buried them alive, five hundred of them! What kind of monster would do a thing like that. I know warriors must be killed on the battlefield, but who would destroy a human thought?" Especially when knowledge had been so prized, girls were looked down upon because they could not read, Mulan was one of the lucky ones. 

"A thought is more dangerous than an army," Shang said without having to think about it, clear and confident in his beliefs, except where she was concerned. "You kill an army and the threat is gone, you can't kill a thought. We owe much to the First Emperor, ruthless as he was. In his time there were a hundred men each with a different vision for China, they competed for power and it was their factions which tore the empire apart. When Shi Huang-ti took the throne, he thought if all of China shared the same vision there would be nothing to fight over, so he sought to stamp out every way of thinking but his own. Especially the Taoists, they aren't fond of too many laws, and don't care to involve themselves much in the lives of the people." 

All Mulan knew of the Taoists were the priests who wandered around, and the bright temples in Ch'ang-an with the fringed blue flags and the people burning incense and praying to the Jade Emperor. She had read Lao Tzu's books last night, and did not think his teachings had anything in common with the lip service in the capital. 

"So the Taoists wouldn't have a law saying a women must be executed for serving in the army?" Mulan said this just a bit smugly, it was hard not to be when the law was enforced because a woman was thought to bring bad luck, when she in fact had brought quite good luck. 

Shang seemed displeased with the statement. "Probably not." 

"But General Li Shang does not want me in the army," Mulan seized her advantage, determined to draw out some clue of the nature of his feelings toward her. 

"Did I say that?" His eyebrow raised in puzzlement. He turned his head and said nothing. Mulan sighed, there was still a boundary between them, and she had pressed him too far. 

~ * ~ 

Not only was the camp larger than Wu Zhong, but this time she would be getting her own quarters instead of a cramped tent. In fact there were no tents, all of the soldiers were housed in the barracks complete with mess crew and even people to clean up after her thanks to her new standing. This was the closest she had ever had to servants, but she thought she might have preferred they be women. The last thing she needed was some gawking recruit barging in while she was trying to change out of her armor. 

That thought reminded her to glance down at herself. Mulan had only seem Shang's father once, just a fleeting glance at a middle aged man leading his calvary away in all his finery. Her armor was just as ornate now, with a crown of tall plumes rising from her helmet which she held tucked under her arm, bright red for good luck. She was a general of the Tang empire, even now she could scarcely believe it. 

"General Fa?" A mocking voice called from outside the door, gravely and familiar. 

Mulan swallowed, blushing though no one could see her. It was only Yao, but still she felt silly for marveling at her new status so much. She was sure Shang had never paraded about in private like a fool when he received his commission. It was not that she was happy exactly, the responsibility frightened her more than the battlefield, but it was nice to feel important. 

Setting two more books down on her writing table, Mulan plunked the helmet atop her head and rushed outside. 

It was not only Yao who was waiting for her, but Ling and Chien Po as well. "Well look at you," Ling grinned, turning around and flourishing his own red cape. "Think the girls will like this, Mulan?" 

"Sure," Yao jumped in. "The ones that don't have any taste." That earned him a punch in the shoulder from Ling while Chien Po just stood there, as if embarrassed to hold their acquaintance. 

Mulan grinned. "It's great to see you guys again." 

"Group hug!" Yao demanded, and in the next moment the three had Mulan gathered in their arms. 

It was the wrong moment for Shang to stride by, glaring when he saw the four of them. He paused long enough for them to separate, and even longer to shift his stare to each of the three men in turn. Mulan cringed, but luckily he only held eye contact with her for a brief moment. 

"You aren't foot soldiers anymore!" He practically growled, much more forcefully than was necessary. "Show a little more decorum!" Her cheeks were flaming, the thought of him being embarrassed of her and her actions, the way she had felt those sneers at her back when the officers had noticed her riding close to Shang. No matter what, people would always connect her with him, if only because he had been her first commander and the one to let her live. He seemed well liked among the other men, the wealthy men, she would have to remember to act in a way that did not harm his good reputation. 

"It was just a friendly hug," Ling grumbled in a near pout. 

Shang gave him another sharp look for his trouble. "Right." Then he turned to Mulan. "Come to my quarters later, I need to talk to you. Don't forget we're meeting in an hour. I trust you three won't embarrass yourselves?" With another harsh look for her friends, he stalked away. 

Yao folded his arms, scowling. "Who put thorns in his bed last night." 

"Maybe he's jealous," Chien Po spoke evenly, neither defending nor condemning the general. 

"Oh but he's so pretty!" Ling purred sarcastically, flexing imaginary muscles and strutting a few steps. "What's he got to be jealous of?" Yao began to snicker, and all of a sudden Mulan wanted to hide. "ohhh!" Ling giggled. "You think?" 

Mulan stepped away from them and folded her arms. She was not going to let on that Shang had hurt her feelings just now. She was in no mood to be teased. 

~ * ~ 

Nervous was an understatement when Mulan took a cushion in the map tent. As usual, she was seated beside Shang but he hardly seemed to glance at her. That was good in a way, it meant that he was not angry, but it did wound to be ignored. He did quite a bit of looking at her three friends though, a bit of glaring rather. The three seemed to have trouble abiding it, but there was little they could do. 

There were four other people inside the tent that Mulan did not know, an older man everyone called "Marshal Yu," but whether that was his true rank or a title given to him by the younger soldiers Mulan could not tell, but he was undoubtedly the lord of the camp. He appeared stern yet fatherly, friendly and liked by the men but he said nothing to her. Two more of the men were older than Shang but not yet graying, quiet and sour men by their faces. 

Only the man at Shang's left bothered to speak to her. He was sprawled out with his chin in his hands, leaning close at Shang's side. "Look, it's General Fa," he announced with a kind of good natured curiosity. The others in the tent frowned and sighed. They were well aware of her presence, and most unhappy over it. 

Mulan exchanged a look over Shang's head with the man which drew a few smirks. He was perhaps a little younger than Shang, slender, and with a face that could stop a girl's heart. He was not Chinese, that was for sure, not with those large eyes and chiseled features. But he was beautiful in a masculine way, and his smile said he knew it too. 

"This is my friend, and brother-in-law," Shang introduced the man calmly. "Captain Meng Tai-shan." The way he said the name made Mulan instantly jealous. 

Brother in law? Her eyebrows raised. "I wasn't aware you had a sister." 

Captain Meng smiled softly, he seemed rather willing to talk to her, eyeing her critically. "There are men in the capital who would kill for Li Tie-lin's hand, Fa Mulan, but well.. " He gave an arrogant tilt of his head. "They can't compete with me." Mulan stared from him to Shang in shock. They were clearly closer than brothers and complete opposites. 

"I haven't seen my sister in some time," Shang explained. "Nor my mother. I've been in Ch'ang-an and they live here in Louyang. I miss them." he added with a sigh. Mulan smiled a little, wondering what this girl was like, no doubt refined as her brother was, and a dream candidate for a Matchmaker. 

"Gentleman," Chi fu barked in high pitched disapproval. "And General Fa," he added reluctantly, at which the others chuckled. "There are things to discuss." 

Once everyone was silent, Marshal Yu began. "As you know, Shan-Yu is still alive. He and his five companions have escaped the Palace, we don't know how, but we can... speculate," his mouth twisted over the word. Treason, Mulan remembered Shang's words. "There are mysterious circumstances surrounding the invasion, and Shan-yu's tactics, he seemed to have a lot of knowledge of where our troops were, especially at the Tung Shao Pass. Spies are out of the question, Shan-yu is not wont to trust the Chinese, and no evidence suggests it. General Li Shengli's body was never found or identified in the ruins, though bits of his armor and weapons suggest the Turks had searched him for information, or perhaps questioned him before he died. He may have carried a map which gave them knowledge of the Imperial City. Though we join you in mourning your father, Li Shang, let us hope that is the rightful explanation. It still does not answer the question of how they knew we would be at the Pass." 

Mulan watched Shang's expression as the Marshal spoke, he was calm as the others and gave no outward sign of outrage or sadness, but still she worried. The Marshal's tone suggested he himself did not accept this theory, but a good leader told his underlings only what they needed to know to accomplish their mission. 

"How do we even know it is this Shan-yu himself?" Tai-shan asked, Mulan did not think he was even paying attention. "Who can really tell one copy-cat warlord from another. They all slaughter and plunder the same." 

The Marshal sighed. "Another general was killed at the Great Wall, Shan, very clandestine action, so we were surprised when four of his officers reported it was Shan-yu. They saw him. The only four that survived." 

"And our mission?" Mulan decided to try her hand at contributing. Apparently Shang planned on saying nothing, observing the map quietly. 

"Young lady," at least he was polite, if not mildly condescending. "For someone with so much to learn, I am surprised at your commission. But I do not question His Majesty's orders. You and Shang will take your troops to the Wall. It is the most dangerous position, but I will charge General Li with your safety. Although if you were my daughter... " Shang and Tai-shan laughed. Mulan did not know what was worse, Chi fu's belittling or this insistence she could not protect herself? 

Chi fu sniffed, scratching notes on his clipboard. "You'll be leaving tomorrow, and I'll be coming with you." 

Mulan and Shang glanced at each other and sighed. 

"I'm retiring soon," the old soldier explained. "The Emperor is looking for a new Marshal and thinks General Li is perfect for the job." 

"If that is all then," Chi fu interrupted. "We'd best start preparing." 

Nodding at the clear dismissal, the others began to take their leave. Mulan walked out calmly behind Shang and Tai-shan, they had no idea how uncomfortable it was being in a tent full of such important people. Her only other worry today was what Shang had to say to her after they led their troops in a martial arts drill. Mulan sighed, she would just have to take her new life one day at a time. 


	3. Chapter Three

water3 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Three: 

Martial arts practice was nothing to take lightly, not after two weeks of a fairly seditery life in the house. But Mulan did her best too keep up with the more practiced men. Within a half hour, she was knocking them down and holding her own. She paired off with Yao eventually, who was good but not a challenge and oddly enough did not take it as a personal failure if he lost. Fist fights were more to his tastes, and firing cannons. 

Shang and Tai-shan were both shirtless and sparring enthusiastically, rolling on the ground while the soldiers around them cheered them on. She thought she even saw coins changing hands over the outcome of the fight. Mulan was sure both of them were doing nothing more than showing off. She was unsure if she was happy or not when Shang did not turn to ask her to join, some of their matches at camp had been legendary, but as at ease as he was with the elite soldiers around him, he did not seem to have time or thoughts for her. For the last half hour of the practice, Mulan simply folded her arms and watched over her sparring troops. Shang was right, she thought sadly, she did not belong here. 

When it was finally over, Mulan rushed back to her tent before anyone could stop to talk to her - not that they would. The sun burned at a high angle over the camp, the heat of the summer afternoon was intense here, much more so than Wu Zhong farther west. Locking her door, she changed into a fresh pair of training clothes, washing her hands and face quickly. It was a relief to be able to do these things in the privacy of her own room, she did not even want to remember the troubles she had gone through to take a bath at Wu Zhong. Here all she had to do was order a tub brought to her, that's if she could stomach the embarrassment. She was a general of the Tang empire, she had to remember that, no matter what Shang had to say to her today. 

It was almost absent mindedly that she began untying her hair and brushing it smooth, using a bit of water to tame the stray locks, arranging with an unusual meticulousness the single bang over her forehead. Mulan was neither vain nor negligent of her appearance, she made an effort to be clean and tidy, but did not tarry long to dab on make-up or try new hair styles - though she could appreciate her looks with these things. Today she lingered an extra few moments before the mirror, wondering if she was pretty, or more importantly if Shang thought her pretty. Never in her life would she admit to anyone now that she was attempting to make herself especially pretty for him. That was silly, it wasn't as if he had invited her for a stroll in the garden, as she had seen some of the other men with the pretty young ladies at the Palace. She was not a pretty lady - not in that sense, and this was the great military camp, the most romantic thing that they could safely engage in here was a midnight spar. Even that seemed vaguely scandalous, considering all the eyes upon them. 

Having had enough of this self torture, Mulan left her quarters, squared her shoulders and stalked down the hall to find Shang. The door was left open, and she could see him clearly in an amber pool of lamplight, bent over the desk and scratching with brush and ink on the paper before him. He did not even hear her come in, he was so intent on his thoughts. leaning his cheek against one hand as he wrote, sighing, with eyes narrowed and sad. Stacks of paper stood on the desk beside him, documents and books, ignored all together as she was now. She wondered if she should leave, intruding on a mood which seemed so intense and private, so melancholy. Leaning closer, she watched his hand travel across the page, steady and strong, the characters small and refined, printed with an almost artful flourish. Mulan smiled to herself. 

"Oh," he looked up at last, blinking as though not realizing where he was. "Why didn't you say you were... Nevermind," Setting the brush down he sighed, burying his face in his hands a moment. "I'm so tired." 

"Shang," Mulan stepped closer in concern. "Are you alright?" 

Straightening, he shifted the papers around on the desk. "Yes. It's just that I have five thousand men to look after and now an estate with four women. The four women are the most difficult, you can't give them orders, it's a waste of time." He said this with a bit of a smirk. Mulan folded her arms defensively, she had _tried_ to obey him as her commander. 

"You have three sisters?" She asked in naive confusion. 

He shook his head. "My father has three widows, but my mother is First Wife and left to squabble with the other two. Tie-lin sends me letters. telling me how they fight over money and land. One of them wants to remarry, but my uncle won't let her break her vow as a widow. The other lost her son in childbirth last month, Tie-lin says. It's unfortunate to lose a little brother, but almost a blessing. She is only Third Wife, and if she had my father's son and rose to position, Second Wife would be displeased. Growing up in that house, I swore to myself if I must have a wife, she will be my only wife. I want a peaceful household." Truly, he was the moodiest person she had ever met. Earlier he had yelled at her, ignored her, and now he was pouring out family troubles, even stranger considering he had not mentioned his family at all during the first war. Moody and unpredictable. 

Still, Mulan felt relieved and did not know why. It wasn't as if they were betrothed. She had heard of wealthy men forsaking their first loves for dozens of concubines and playthings. It was the worst thing about the prospect of marriage, how other woman saw it as her failure if a woman's husband took a lesser wife. Failure to bear sons, failure to please him, to be beautiful enough. It was all very unfair. Women were forced to seek status by closeness, so a woman must squabble and compete for her husband's attention, lest she be cast aside and unprotected. 

"I thought Tie-lin was married?" Was all she said. 

"Not yet, betrothed. She and Shan will be married when we come home." His expression turned a trifle mocking. "Our precious Tie-lin, men would fight wars for her." 

She felt a pang of envy at the clear affection he had for his sister, wishing he would turn it upon her instead. "Maybe I should leave so you can write back to her and settle your family affairs." Without waiting, she turned towards the door. 

He rose to his feet. 

"Mulan." 

She stopped in her tracks, there was no way out of this. Swallowing, she tried to face him bravely, reminding herself of _her_ rank. No matter how tall and imposing he was, she was his equal now. 

"I know you're angry at me for embarrassing you earlier." He started to protest but she continued. "Really, we meant no harm. I will try to remember to be more dignified in the future." 

He folded his arms. "I wasn't angry at you." 

Surely, she hadn't heard him right. "What?" she blinked. 

Sighing, he walked around the table until he was an arm's length of her, almost head and shoulders over her and authoritative even in the plain green and tan training clothes. His eyes scanned her from head to toe, short, thin and without any of the endowments known to impress a man. His gaze made a fine point of the essential problem in her life, no matter what she was expected to be - at the Matchmaker's, or on the battlefield - she simply did not measure up. 

"Mulan," he began in this careful scolding way, as if she were the cherished Tie-lin. How dare he treat her with the same over protectiveness as Marshal Yu, she was not a relative! "Aren't you concerned with your reputation?" Looking away uncomfortably, he added. "As a woman." 

"What do you mean?" She was suddenly wary. 

"Marriage, Mulan," as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You can't stay in the army forever. Men talk, and you are under a lot of scrutiny. You have to be careful, should your reputation be harmed, it would dishonor your family." 

Of all the things she expected to hear from him, this was the last, she had expected mess duty for a week or something of the sort. In the middle of his family troubles, and this war and possible treason, he had time to worry about her reputation as a maiden? He had no qualms about leaving her cold, wounded and alone in the mountains. She was utterly confounded, unable to decide whether his concern should flatter her or not. 

"Well I already said I'll try to behave with more dignity," she wished that didn't sound so sulky. 

Drawing a deep sigh, he paced a few steps to and fro, as if debating how much of what he wanted to say was prudent. "But it isn't you. Mulan," he turned to face her, his eyes as serious as ever. "You heard what Marshal Yu said, I'm responsible for your safety, and if he hadn't I would still feel that way. In order to protect you _and_ your family's honor, I order you to inform me of any soldier who might endanger that. If I see any, he will have to be punished, for your sake, even and especially your friends. That means no hugging, no close contact aside from military practice and what is necessary. Agreed?" 

She just stared at him, unable to believe his unspoken implication that because her friends were peasants they were less moral, less capable of restraint than high born men like Marshal Yu and Tai-shan. And Tai-shan had wondering eyes around the men, but he did not seem the least bit interested in her. She supposed Shang could not help the snobby indoctrination of his upbringing. 

"And who am I supposed to marry, Shang?" she demanded, curbing her anger but not hiding it completely. 

Meeting her eyes briefly, he spoke in the same chiding tone. "Don't make me remind you how be-" He cleared his throat. "How brave and famous you are. You would no doubt be sought after." 

"I'm not her," she gestured towards the letter on his desk. "I'm not a prize, you know, the Matchmaker hates me." 

His brow arched in confusion and curiosity. "What happened, Mulan?" he asked calmly. 

"I don't want to talk about it," her cheeks were already warming, but he would not look away. "How would you like it if someone whose judgment matters so much screamed in front of the entire village that you would never be worth anything/" 

Again, he laughed at her. She failed to see what it was about her that amused him so. "Expect nothing and you cannot disappoint. They expect the world of me. I would love the freedom of having no one's hopes weighing on my shoulders." Mulan swallowed and looked down, he had made her feel petty and silly. 

"You are right," she conceded with a smile. "But I still don't want to get married." 

Smiling a little, he stood only a few inches apart from her, his eyes softened. "Haven't you heard the saying 'Heaven and earth shall unite and sweet dew will fall?'" A strange yet warm feeling fluttered her stomach, her cheeks were really flaming now. 

The only safe thing to do was change the subject. 

"Shang, how do you really think the Huns knew your father's troops were at the Pass?" 

Glancing around him nervously, he sat back in his chair. "A question no one wants to answer," he said softly, and then more quietly, "least of all me." 

Without thinking, she covered his hand with hers, only to comfort him at first. But he let her hand slip in his, small and delicate as he curled his fingers around hers, watching her face. It was only a brief and subtle gesture, yet it brought both of them to silence. Mulan returned his gaze, telling herself there was no need to be nervous, he was only holding her hand. 

"You know we're leaving tomorrow," he spoke at last. "We have a hundred things to do." 

Nodding, Mulan drew away, smiling to herself as she turned toward her own quarters back down the hall.   
  



	4. Chapter Four

water4 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Four: 

"Snow? In the Summer?" Yao growled as they pulled their horses up the mountain slopes. They had been on the road for three days, the alpine terrain harsh and frozen even in the warmer months. Snow capped peaks rose high around them like tombs, their barren faces shining like mirrors under the sunlight. 

Ling twisted his mouth into a playful sneer. "I thought you were tough," he berated his friend, then turned around. "Hey, Mulan, why are you riding by yourself? Come ride closer to us." 

Mulan bit her lip nervously, glancing at Shang who rode a little ways behind her, conversing with Tai-shan. The slightest tightening at the corners of his eyes revealed he had heard the invitation, but he made no move to turn away from his friend. Still Mulan took the hint. 

"Oh, no reason," she waved them off. "I just feel like being by myself today." 

She tried to tell herself it was not because Shang disapproved of them and that she wanted to please Shang. Instead she convinced herself that Shang had been in the military longer and knew what was best. 

"Must be one of those _womanly_ moods," Yao grumbled. 

Embarrassed and hurt, Mulan lowered her head. He wouldn't be in so great a mood either if he had to stuff his underclothes with bandages. At least that was not the problem now though. 

It surprised her when Shang spoke. "What do you know about women, Yao?" It was clearly angry, but sounded no more than a casual taunt. Ling and Chien-Po laughed. 

"He knows... " Tai-shan made a long pause, as though carefully weighing and considering. "They have breasts!" 

Everyone save Yao broke into loud laughter, Mulan blushed horribly and pretended not to hear. It took the men several moments to notice her discomfort, after which she was showered with shy and half-hearted apologies. She had to put up with worse the first time around, explicit descriptions of things she would rather not hear about, and likely never happened in the first place, naked men, and all their disgusting habits. That was different though, very different. 

Yao dropped back a little, teasing in a peace offering. "Aw, what's the matter, chicken boy?" 

"I am not a boy!" she snapped without thinking. 

Stunned that Mulan had actually raised her voice at him, he saluted her mockingly. "Yes, mam!" She just gave him a shallow grin so he would be satisfied and turn away. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan paid little attention to the goings on that night. They were back to sleeping in tents for the officers and the rough mountain ground for the soldiers. It would be another two days before they reached the garrison at the Wall. She set up her tent quickly, but did not feel like retiring so early, and instead decided to walk a bit through the shadowy camp dusted with half melted snow. 

Torches and lanterns were lit, and the usual cookfires, soldiers grouped together and talked and laughed. Shang was no where to be found, but neither was Chi fu or Tai-shan. That was enough to make her grumpy, she got the impression her duty was not to assist in the planning like the men, but she was here as a sort of good luck charm to come up with spectacular ideas on the spot. The Emperor thought her a bauble, and an effigy, and she knew it. With power came responsibility though and she wanted none of that, she supposed she should feel fortunate. 

She decided she was going to go find her friends. Shang had not said it was a bad idea to talk to them, only to be seen touching in less than appropriate ways. It was not considered proper for an unmarried man and woman to be seen touching unless necessary, these courtly men seemed to observe that rule more than the others, life was less formal in the army. 

The three of them were seated around a fire, but they were not arguing and laughing as always. Mulan felt guilty for the way she had treated them earlier, and Shang was not around to complain. Hiding behind a tree, Mulan waited for the right moment to sneak up on them, surely that would start them laughing again. 

She decided against it though when she heard what they were saying. 

"I don't know what's wrong with her these past few days," Yao was complaining. "It's like she doesn't want anything to do with us." 

Ling scowled. "I guess because she's a general now, she thinks she's too good for us." 

"That doesn't sound like Mulan," Chien-Po looked thoughtful. "I'll bet it has something to do with Shang." She crossed her arms, at least someone was defending her. 

"Well you have noticed he doesn't like us very much," Ling pointed out. 

Yao chuckled. "What would pretty boy do if he found out about that time in the lake?" 

"Oh, man!" Ling was shaking with laughter. "All three of us too! He'd cut off our heads. I'll never forget how shy and nervous she was when you stood up on the rock and I kept trying to persuade her! Poor Mulan." Mulan hoped their laughter was more out of embarrassment than amusement. She was struggling with the same mortification all over again. Mulan wanted to die. 

All of a sudden, Shang stalked right in front of her, seeming to appear out of nowhere, clenching his fists with his eyes narrowed in fierce anger. He must have had a bad argument with Chi fu, Mulan thought. 

"Shang," Mulan tried for a friendly greeting, maybe he needed someone to talk to. 

He stared at her, she almost jumped back physically at the fury in his eyes, hurt and angry. It was all too familiar. Mulan struggled with the memory, on her knees in the snow, with him standing over her... Her stomach clenched, she turned away and ran back to her tent before her friends could see her. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan tried to fall asleep early that night, crawling under the covers in her white pajamas, wanting to hide from the world. She was tired of Shang and his rather cursory changes of mood, one moment gazing but glaring the next. He seemed to think it was alright to take his anger out on her, but she was expected to provide company when he sought it, and after that, she was supposed to leave him alone. Where was the fairness and joy in that? At least she had some dignity, at least she hadn't told him that she cared for him. Since he clearly did not return those feelings, she would keep that sorrow to herself. 

What did she expect? She chided herself. Only the gods knew what kind of courtesans and kept ladies he was used to, he was a rich man after all. No doubt he was lonely like the other men, and she was the only woman in the camp, of course he was going to be sweet on her. She didn't know why she had placed him above the other men in that respect, only because he was not as open about it as the others. She sighed, wishing she could just go home. 

Sleep was too much to ask for, and within another hour of tossing and turning Mulan was out of the covers, peeling back the tent flap to gaze out at the night. Most of the men were asleep by now, though a few dotted the white and brown slopes. Her three friends were still awake, sitting around the remnants of their fire. She was too far away to see exactly what they were doing, but she suspected they had passed the time gambling. 

A flicker of motion caught her eye, two shadows making their way down the slope, disappearing and reappearing as they crossed in and out of pools of moonlight between the trees. Her eyes were fixed on the two moving shapes, both tall, one broad shouldered and the other athletic and slender, the silver light glinting every now and then on well polished armor. Their walk alone declared them trained warriors, each step measured with discipline, befitting their proud bearing, their heads carried high. Such a sharp contrast to the men around the dead fire, who sat huddled and slumped with no finesse at all, not even a pretense of it, much like her. Why would such a proud man want anything to do with that sort? 

It did not surprise her when the shadows became Shang and Tai-shan, storming up to the unsuspecting trio who whipped their heads around in shock. It was what happened next that did surprise her. Ignoring the other two, Shang and Tai-shan seized Yao by either arm, dragging him away. Ling stood up and tried for a helping blow at Tai-shan's arm, but was easily pushed aside by the captain. 

Mulan drew back nervously into her tent, but through its thin walls she could hear the shouts of Shang and Yao's argument. 

"What are you going to do about it, pretty boy? Execute me?" 

"Shut up! All you ever do is run your mouth!" 

"Execute me then! Execute anyone who looks at her! You won't have an army left! Or be a man and fight!" 

She heard Yao growl in pain and then a thump on the ground. Mulan peeked her head out just in time to see Yao rubbing his cheek where Shang must have punched him. Tai-shan was nowhere to be found. 

Yao rose to his feet. "Alright then, pretty boy, come on!" 

He took a fighting stance just as Shang did, but the general dealt him a kick which sent him to the ground again before Yao had a chance to attack. Shang moved in on Yao, and at that point Mulan had enough. 

Running out of the tent in only her under layer of clothing, Mulan darted barefoot towards them, paying no mind to the twigs and pebbles and the cold snow which bore into her feet. Shang's fury seemed to rise as he saw her coming, but he did step back from Yao. 

"If you want to fight, fight me," She planted herself in front of him, her anger more than matching his. Deep inside she battled a haunting twinge of fear, feeling as if she didn't know him at all, and what he was capable of in this state of ire. She knew well what he was capable of, the memory flashed behind her eyes again, the sword over her head, at the same time reassuring her of what he was not capable of. "Leave my friends alone. I thought you were a man of honor! Even the lowest street thug has more honor than you!" 

For the longest moment he stood frozen and silent, his eyes burning with hate then darkening in pain. He seemed so betrayed. Mulan's heart swam with guilt, washing her anger away, to see how she had wounded him. 

"Don't talk to me about honor," his words were so quiet, so cold. An involuntary chill fluttered across her back. He had distanced himself from her as though in another world, leaving her cast out, forsaken. 

"Shang," she tried to seize his arm. 

Fending her off, he whirled around. "Go back to your tent!" It was the first time he had ever screamed at her. Even as a recruit, he had never regarded her with that depth of rage. 

Risking a worried glance at Yao, Mulan turned tail and dashed for her tent   



	5. Chapter Five

water5 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Five: 

The rest of the trip was practically taken in silence. Shang seemed quite content to forget Mulan existence and spent the two days in close company with Tai-shan, he never even threw her so much as a glance. Sometimes the pair looked like they were in love. Chien-Po was the only one of her friends who made an effort to be affable, Yao seemed uncomfortable and Ling seemed to blame her. It was hard to approach them to talk things over under Shang's watchful yet shadowy presence. 

It was late morning when they arrived at the garrison, the might and grandeur of the famous Great Wall was a breathtaking distraction to Mulan's worries. The sinuous stone structure rose thirty feet in height, winding like a serpent across the mountain cliffs and the flatter plains below. The view was just as awe-inspiring, a sloping portrait of deep blues and rich browns. Thousands of men had fought to build and defend this place. This was the brilliance of Qin Shi Huang-ti, a thousand years ago, every emperor since had poured money and blood into it. Bright red and gold flags billowed from the square stone tower, but the whole place appeared so solemn. 

There was little to do in the way of setting up camp, housing and barracks were provided for the soldiers just as they were at Louyang. Armies camped here regularly, these troops were the bulwark of China's defense, the first defense. If the Great Wall fell, China fell, that was a popular and not unreasonable notion among the people. 

Shang did speak to her as she came out from depositing her things in her new quarters. She almost jumped when she saw him, cold and unfriendly, but standing outside the building as if he had purposely sought her out rather than meeting her by chance. 

"Yao will no longer serve under you," he informed her, all distance and icy dignity. Any closeness they had established was lost beyond regaining now. "He has been demoted to supervising the mess crew. Chien-Po will be your second now." 

Mulan tried to hide her anger, and hurt. Maybe Yao had done something, broken some rule... Shang was always fair, she tried to remind herself, always. Losing her faith in him would be like losing the whole world. There were too many things in him she admired, his courage, his gentility. Surely the man who had cast aside the law to spare her life - the man who had defended her in the Imperial City before the Emperor and Chi fu - would not persecute a man for anything less than a good reason. He was not petty, not cruel. 

"I think Chien-Po would like mess duty better than Yao," she made an attempt to joke with him. 

A flash of anger crossed his face, sinking her hopes. "We aren't here to indulge ourselves, Mulan." He made it sound so cutting, so scathing, that she flinched. Inside she felt torn, how could she trust and respect someone who acted like this? 

Mulan started to say something in her own defense, to question why he was behaving this way, but he turned away without a word of closure when he saw Tai-shan gesturing to him from atop the watch tower. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan did not even attempt to sleep that night, in fact her mind was clouded with shameful thoughts. She thought of running away, just a fleeting possibility, running away from Shang and the army where no one took her seriously, where she was not even allowed to have friends anymore. The Emperor's decree, her family's honor, she was held hostage by these things. A night like this would make any woman rue the day she was born a girl. 

This time she waited until she was sure everyone was asleep before crawling out of bed. Easing open the door, she was greeted by a yellow sea of torches in the hall, half lit and deserted. She considered creeping into Shang's room, forcing him to talk, but what good would that do when he might call the sentries and have her arrested for breaking some military code she did not know about. It was much to her shame that she had been lax in her book reading of late, if she had kept up with her studies she would know all the rules by now. Instead she turned left and made her way down the long hall towards the outer door, passing a pair of sentries just outside who did not dare to question her. 

Once outside she breathed the chilled northern air with a little relief, the southern heat did not really agree with her. The camp was a maze of shadows, wrought by the massive tower above and the crescent of moonlight wedged brightly against the indigo veil of sky. The pale aura of lanterlight glowed from inside the tower, where the sentries stood, along with more on the wide stone bridge the Wall formed over the mountains. Aside from that, the camp lay in quietude. 

She walked a long time along the shadow of the Wall, there were more trees and shrubs the further she moved from the buildings. For a military camp, the land lay relatively undisturbed. It was between two trees that a lone figure caught her eye, dancing through sword forms in the night. So graceful he seemed to glide across the grass, the sword he held a muted shimmer of sliver, capturing the moonlight. She almost believed he could walk on water. 

Without a word, he threw the sword down, seeming to recognize her by the sound of her footsteps though he had his back to her, shirtless and statuesque in the dark. He turned to face her and she said nothing, giving him no time for an irate response. Mulan was in love with him, she had been in love with him for some time, and now it was high time she dealt with it with some dignity, some control. She was determined to make herself a part of his universe again, even if she had to fight her way into it. 

Lunging for him, she was not surprised when he seized her foot and pushed her back with more force than he might have. Quick to recover her balance, Mulan whirled around, bracing her weight against his chest to wriggle her foot free and turn to face him again. He fought to tuck her under his arm and flip her over his shoulder, but being lighter and smaller she crouched down, locking her arms around his knees to trip him. He groaned as he fell on the ground, allowing Mulan the chance to scramble up and sit on his chest. 

"I think it's time you explain," she demanded, catching her breath. 

Not bothering to answer, he reached with both hands to grip either side of her wherever he could, attempting to pull her off of him. Bracing herself with both knees on the ground beside him, Mulan pinned her weight on him securely. Realizing he was powerless, Shang laid his head back on the earth, sighing with such defeat he may as well have lost an entire war. It wasn't the fight, or that his pride was hurt, they had practiced together at times and divided the wins and losses. He had been a willing teacher, proud when she won, chiding when she lost and telling her exactly what she had done wrong. No, she had won in a different way now, she saw that and the power she had. He could no longer brush her off, not physically, not in his mind, it seemed to stir and pain him at the same time. 

"Shang," she began, but stopped just as abruptly. When she jerked back to better shift her weight, his hands had slipped from her arms to her chest. They lingered there for a curious moment, a caress tortured by the barrier of her clothing, even sliding down over her waist before falling away in conscious realization. It was so innocent and accidental at first, yet his hands seemed to move over her by rote though they had never touched her that way before. His eyes were closed, she could feel the rise and fall of his breathing under her, sparking a sweet ache in her lower body. Her blood warmed, but not with embarrassment this time. 

"Mulan, get up." It was not angry anymore, but quiet, almost pleading. 

Suffering embarrassment as an aftershock, Mulan did as she was asked. When she tried to stand a stab of pain cut through her left side, slicing away that delicious new feeling. Clutching her old wound she staggered to her knees on the ground. 

Kneeling beside her on the grass, Shang forgot what had happened a moment ago in concern. "What's the matter? Do you want the doctor?" 

"No." The ache subsided and she exhaled at last. Her arms wrapped themselves over her, covering her, she didn't know what to think. No man had ever touched her in that way before. She knew it was unintentional, but with all his talk of honor he was the last person she expected to relish such a liberty, even so briefly as he had. Shang wasn't perfect, she had known that from the first, yet it still broke her heart a little to have to face it. No, I want to run away, she almost said. She sighed and forgave him quietly. Maybe he wanted to run away too. 

"Mulan?" He said suddenly, the hurt entering his voice again. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

Her thoughts had so distracted her she was utterly confused. "That I was a girl?" 

"Well I see why you couldn't tell me about that." He drew a deep sigh. Good, he didn't want to talk about that, but she could see the guilt he felt over it. "I mean about you and Yao. I lo-" Clearing his throat, he fumbled uncomfortably for words. "I mean, I lost my respect for you." 

Her jaw dropped in puzzlement. It was too ridiculous for anger, plain and simple. All this raving and fuming over a silly rumor. If Yao had initiated it, or even perpetuated it, she would give him twice as much as Shang had already. It didn't take a soothsayer to know Shang and Yao would never get along, but if Yao had sought to show him up it would not be at her expense. 

"All this over a group hug?" She knew she was being naive, but it wasn't a crime to hope that was the start and finish of it. 

He sighed in exasperation. "You, Yao, the lake at Wu Zhong?" 

"Oh my goodness!" Mulan hid her face in her hands, utterly humiliated. Suddenly it clicked. He had overheard and mistook completely Yao's words a few nights ago. So that was why he had been so vengeful. Jealously was a dangerous thing, even if it should flatter her she still did not condone his actions that night, or since for that matter. "You stupid man!" she fumed aloud accidentally, then swallowed. "It was an accident. I was trying to take a bath and hide so no one would know I was a girl. Yao, Ling and Chien Po came and I tried to get away. To make a long story short, I've seen more of Yao than I care to and it wasn't a pretty sight. I would much rather have seen-" She stopped herself, glad the night hid her blushes for what she almost said. Shang's habit of nearly saying too much was contagious. 

He was just staring at her, not cold, not angry, just staring. "I won't mince words. That was pretty stupid of you." 

Well she knew that! But she wasn't going to let him off without his share of the blame. "You shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." Was it even an accident tonight? Or did he think that because Yao had had his turn with her she would allow him his as well? 

"If you want him back as your lieutenant I will relieve him of mess duty." That was as much of an apology as she was going to get, and certainly more than Yao was going to get. 

It wasn't enough for her. "What kind of woman do you think I am?" 

"I don't know," he was stammering, she had him cornered. "You know what Confucius said, pleasure before honor." 

She slapped him, leaving him to rub his cheek in surprise. It was less than he deserved for the way he had treated Yao. 

"If I didn't have any sense of honor I would have jumped in your bed long ago!" 

With that scandalous declaration out of the way, Mulan rose to her feet. Men and their clumsy ideas. Who cared what Confucius said, Confucius had never met her. 

Without preamble, a strong arm encircled her waist, and all of a sudden her feet were dangling off the ground and he was kissing her roughly, beyond any self-control. She fought for a moment to push him away, then latched an arm around his neck when she realized it was futile. Shock was the first emotion to hit her, but after that wore thin she was left kissing him back, whimpering when she felt his tongue slide in her mouth. Her head was spinning. 

He set her down at last, both of them catching their breath and averting their eyes from each other. "That's exactly what I meant about being careful," Shang spoke first, he sounded even more startled than she was. "That's why it's dangerous for you to be in the army." 

"What?" He was not going to pin this entire thing on her! "You're the one who started it!" 

She had him squirming now. "That doesn't matter. The point is, it would be too easy to go too far." 

"Doesn't matter?" She fumed. "So I'm supposed to stay at home, cook and clean and sew and die in childbirth because you can't control yourself?" 

"No, I-" He let his words trail off. 

By this time she was no longer listening to him anyway. "Well I like being here. It makes me feel useful!" 

"Useful?" Shang was incredulous. "Don't be stupid, Mulan, cooking and cleaning and sewing is a lot more useful than slaughtering men by the hundreds. I don't care if they're barbarians, it still makes me sick!" 

The words stung, more than anything he had ever said to her before. "Maybe I'll just leave then. It would make you a lot happier, wouldn't it?" 

Turning on her heels, she did not see him reach out for her. "Mulan! Mulan!" he called her name as she ran away from him, swallowed by the night.   



	6. Chapter Six

water6 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Six: 

With only a bag of clothes and supplies, Mulan steered Khan westward through the pine forest at the foot of the Wall. Shang had not run after her, she had not expected him to, and that only made things easier. He could go crawl in Tai-shan's bed for all she cared, since he seemed to prefer the man anyway. No one bothered to ask why she had gathered her things and ordered her horse saddled in such a hurry, if they even thought it odd they gave no sign. The lowest soldier was not permitted to question the actions of a general, male or female, not matter how strange. 

Her vision was obscured by tears as she rode, not sudden hysterical tears, but slow tears that would not stop the more she gave way to her thoughts. Her eyes burned with them, her head starting to ache. Thankfully Khan could be trusted to carry her safely through the branches and trees, had they been relying on her concentration alone she probably would have toppled over and broken her neck by now. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going, a little ways west and a turn around back through the mountains would see her back to Ch'ang-an, and from there she knew the route well to her home. But she couldn't exactly go home either, a deserter could be punished by execution if caught and she was an only child, what would her parents do then? One thing at a time, she reminded herself, she would figure the rest out later. 

After several hours of riding, Mulan decided to camp for the night. The forest was almost eerie in her solitude, the trees black with their long needles like shadowy knives. She would never admit to anyone that she was scared. If Mushu had been here things would have been better, but he had his duties as family guardian now. She was alone, utterly and entirely, and worst of all of her own choosing. 

She thought about going back to camp as she spread her blankets out on the uneven ground. What was wrong with claiming she had a taken a ride to clear her thoughts? It was a matter of pride though, she couldn't go back. When she laid down and closed her eyes she still felt him kissing her, his arm wrapped around her. Who did he think he was to manhandle her like that? She knew exactly who he thought he was, a man she who had her permission to do it. Her entire body seemed to burn in embarrassment. She absolutely could _not _go back. With that stubborn thought, she actually managed to find sleep. 

The sound of footsteps roused her several hours later. After two days of insufficient sleep, Mulan's eyes were too heavy to open. Surely her instincts would warn her of danger, but even with the strange sound she was still fighting with sleep, dragged back into it every time she closed her eyes. Giving up, she laid there, nearly incoherent as a figure hovered over her. 

A large hand brushed back her hair curiously, she could feel the weight of the intruder's gaze on her face though her eyes were closed. She wanted to sit up, to look at him, but she was far too weary. 

"Shang," She called out softly as she was lifted into strong arms. An amused chuckle met her ears that was deep and oddly soothing. The last thing she heard was Khan's cry and the sound of hooves bolting back through the trees. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan did not know how many hours had passed. She awoke in the midst of a strange silence, trying to turn over but found her hands smartly bound with rope. Her eyes flew open, finding herself in a cramped tent bathed in orange light. A single candle burned beside her, but that was all she could see. 

Her heartbeat climbed in panic. Her desertion had been discovered and now she was being detained until punishment, most likely execution. Mulan swore, she had escaped such a punishment once, she did not think such luck would visit her a second time. 

"You kept calling his name in your sleep," a female voice filled the emptiness suddenly, soft and not hostile at all, friendly even. "You must be Fa Mulan." 

"What?-" Instinctively, she reached to push her hair from her face, but with her hands bound the way they were all she could do was shake her head like a dog. It wasn't as if she had any dignity anymore anyway. Turning on her back, she looked towards the source of the voice but could see nothing but folds of silk. 

The lump of silk shifted, changing colors in the different angles of light, as the girl planted herself in Mulan's line of vision. She was indeed young, and little at that, beautiful in that polished, orthodox way, like some celestial fairy. She was fine enough to be an imperial concubine, with her flower-like face and large tranquil eyes. Yet there was something uncommon about her, a sense of power, something which could not be bought or sold, not by any man. Mulan envied her, this strong and radiant young woman, perceiving these things only by the unperturbed manner in which the lady sat. For a moment she wondered if this was the young matriarch of some wealthy house who had found her alone, ordering her retainers to take her back with them. Then she remembered her bound hands and almost laughed at herself. 

She noticed Mulan still trying to wriggle free of the rope and commented quietly. "Profit from what is there, but make use of what is not." 

"I don't understand," Mulan muttered in both frustration and confusion. "Who are you? And whose name did I call?" 

"Someone as unfortunate as yourself," this one was wont to be cryptic it seemed. "And Shang, you called Shang's name." 

Mulan stiffened. She did not say Li Shang, or General Li, but simply Shang, the lady was well acquainted with him. She fought a squirming jealousy, what if Shang had a sweetheart, a betrothed and saw her only as a plaything at camp? No, Shang was not that sort of man, and why would his betrothed meet her here. She became suddenly frightened when she recalled Shang's story of Empress Lu, mutilating her husband's favorite concubine. What if... ? She jerked physically to get a hold of herself, she was tired of what ifs. 

"Don't you have a name?" By this time Mulan was cross. 

"Tie-lin." 

It was impossible. She had to be dreaming. What chance that she should meet Tie-lin here, where she did not even know where she was or why. What chance. 

"You've been captured by Shan-yu, whether you're held here for ransom or to give information I don't know. Better to hope it is ransom. I was kidnapped by my own servants, taken from my home in Louyang and brought to this camp across the border. I am to be given to Shan-yu as a concubine, to seal a most sordid alliance." 

"So it is treason," Shang's words came back to her _a question no one wants to answer, least of all me. _He had known something all along, something he had been keeping from everyone. That crucial secret lay between him and Marshal Yu. But how had Tie-lin fallen into this? It had to be someone who knew her. 

Tie-lin sighed. "It is worse than that." Still, the girl was composed and calm. She was being stolen from her betrothed, the man who loved her, where were her tears? 

"Then why aren't you tied up?" Mulan demanded, no doubt Shan-yu had given her little cause to remain of her own accord. 

Uncurling her legs from under her, Tie-lin presented her with an extraordinary silk slipper. "Well it isn't as if I can run away, is it?" Mulan recoiled in disgust, the little foot Tie-lin twirled around so proudly Mulan could have closed in the palm of her hand, forced into that tiny pointed slipper so laden with embroidery Mulan could scarcely see the original color of the cloth was red. 

"Were you born that way?" Mulan had never seen such unnaturally small feet before, then again, she had never heard anyone born with such a deformity before either. 

Tie-lin laughed. "It's becoming fashionable among the rich. My father ordered it done when I was five, so that I might marry into the court." Shock was not the right word. The Matchmaker claimed no man would want her because she could not pour tea properly, and the princes had a penchant for cripples? 

Mulan was furious. "Why did Shang allow this?" 

"Shang?" Tie-lin's eyebrows raised in incredulity. "He was two years old at the time. The only time he ever stood up to my father was when he threatened Tai-shan. My father hates Tai-shan. You could only imagine how stunned we were to find that in the will he left he made an arrangement with Marshal Yu to betroth Shan and I. Marshal Yu must have made him a good offer - Shan always gets his way - or else my father lost interest in the court altogether. It was very strange." 

Strange indeed, and ever stranger that Shang was not betrothed himself. Or he was, and hadn't told her. "You don't love him then?" It was none of her business, but Tie-lin's apparent indifference begged the question. 

"Love him?" She repeated as though she did not understand what that had to do with anything, or even what that meant. But her eyes lit up. "We find peace and comfort in each other, to us that is more precious." 

"Well he's good looking," Mulan remarked absently. His face was about as handsome as hers was beautiful. She could just imagine them together, his jokes and her apathy. The image was an amusing distraction. 

But Tie-lin was looking at her with reproach. "He hates that," she sounded somewhat defensive. "He is the first to remember that I have a heart and mind, and I see such compassion in him. If that is what you mean by love, then I love him wholeheartedly. But to me, love is the strength we feel when we are closest to Heaven. That only comes from up high, Fa Mulan, what burns in our hearts is just one form of desire or another." 

The words touched her, and for a moment she did not know what to say. "And you're proud," Mulan gestured to her little feet. 

The other woman shook her head. "Proud? No, not proud. My mother taught me the sage's way, that attempting to force change on things only makes them worse. She taught me to be still, like water, nothing is as hard or soft as water. Nothing else is so essential to the world, supreme _yin_. Maybe I can't fight or run away as you can, but I can control them all, even if they break my feet, sell me and betroth me wrongfully." 

"What do you mean?" She at last figured out how to scoot so she could sit up, leaning closer in interest. 

Tie-lin smiled gently. "Because they have broken my feet, they try to make me weak, because they have sold me, they try to make me worthless, because they have betrothed me, they try to make me grateful. And yet, because they have broken my feet, they fear me too strong, because they have sold me, they think me priceless, because they have betrothed me, they fear me wild and untamable. So you see how easy it is, anything I do will fool them. Deception is the key to victory." 

At first it sounded like nothing but paradoxical nonsense, the more she thought it over the more her head ached, but after a moment she began to understand. This woman was such a halting contrast to Shang. 

"My brother could never master this." Mulan did not know which was more chilling, that Tie-lin could read her thoughts, or her impenetrable resolve. "He attacks everything with his scorn, beats it to death with his arrogance." She couldn't help herself, Mulan had to laugh at Shang's expense, it made her feel better. Tie-lin grinned, but continued. "We must be fair to him though, my mother taught us in secret, Father thought it all witchcraft and black magic. My brother had little time to learn the sage's way from my mother." 

"Well I think your father taught him the swine's way which he mastered pretty well." She said this without thinking the offense it might cause. 

"My brother is not like my father!" Tie-lin raised her voice for the first time. Mulan flinched, mumbling some apology. Taking a breath, Tie-lin returned her calm. "Angry at my brother?" Mulan nodded. "Sometimes you pass through heavy rains, and strong winds. Nature's anger does not last long, why should yours?" 

Sighing, Mulan decided to stop putting off what was important. "We have to find away out of here, back to the Wall to warn our troops. Untie me." 

In no rush to obey, Tie-lin peeked her head outside the tent. It was still dark outside, Mulan felt her hopes rise, maybe they could escape before the sun came up that morning. She didn't know how, her horse had gone and Tie-lin could not run. No one at the Wall would notice her disappearance, not enough to come search for her. Shang might send a search for Tie-lin, she was his sister, and promised to another man, honor demanded a war to win her back and he would do it for Tai-shan.. 

"No," the other girl shook her head. "Running away is what they expect you to do, and so they have prepared themselves for it. There are sentries posted all around, you'll never get past them. You must do what is not expected. Think of what options you have. If they need information from you, you still have power. If they want to use you to lure China's forces into battle, then you still have time. If they wanted to kill you to start a war, they would have done so where they found you and made it plain. Success comes in timing. Wait, try to learn all you can before you make your move. Until then, fish should not leave the water, and a sword should not leave the scabbard." 

She understood at last, profit from what is there, make use of what is not. Stop fighting, and use whatever plan they had against them. Sun Tzu himself couldn't have advised her better. "You would have made a great general, Tie-lin." 

"Armies are tools of destruction," she answered quietly. "The sage has no use for them. Thorns and weeds only grow in their wake, and victory leads to funerals. The task of the sage is creation." 

_Useful? Cooking and cleaning and sewing is a lot more useful than slaughtering men by the hundreds._

Mulan lowered her head. 

Peeling the tent flap back ever so slightly again, Tie-lin jumped back inside closer to Mulan. "They're coming," she said after Mulan eyed her askance. 

After a moment of silence, Mulan could hear two pairs of footsteps, and soon the two men entered the tent. One was massive and familiar, with golden eyes that burned like the candlelight, yet were unfathomably dark at the same time. The other was just as familiar, and Mulan's breath caught, praying it was only a ghost. 

Shang's words clung to her... 

_A question no one wants to answer, least of all me._   



	7. Chapter SEven

water7 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Seven: 

Mulan could not take her eyes off the compact man who stood just behind Shan-yu's left shoulder, the large Turk towered head and shoulders over him like a shadow. The way they stood together revealed more than she wished were true, daunting any hopes, they were not prisoner and captor, but allied equals. 

"Looks like the tea party has begun," Shan-yu chuckled, gesturing to the two women sitting so close together. "I hope she remembers what a good host I am, at least I left her with some company." Mulan was not so startled that the words flew by her, divulging two things. One, he intended to let her live, and two, he knew what had happened to her at the Pass. She had followed him to the Imperial City without his notice, or so she had thought. 

General Li snickered. "We don't know what kind of bad habits she picked up in the army. We can't have her ruining this little flower, or else the deal would be off." 

She did not know whether to be embarrassed or angry, and was more startled than either. All she knew of General Li was what Shang had told her, which was little more than the brief glance she had of him riding away. From the things she had heard, he seemed so harmless, so benevolent, that she could scarcely believe she was looking at the same man. 

"Why am I here?" Mulan hoped she sounded composed. Fear was a concession, a way of giving her enemies power over her heart. If you let yourself be controlled by fear, you were theirs forever, her father had told her this once. 

"Not for the same reason as Tie-lin, so don't think of flattering yourself," Shan-yu half growled. She wanted to protest, she had not thought... But a shout was raised outside and all of a sudden he was turning away, without an answer. "Entertain them, Shengli, I'm going to see what new toys my scouts have found." 

Mulan waited until Shan-yu was well out of earshot before attacking the General with her words. "How could you?" She demanded, shaking her wrists in their bonds. "He... he admired you, he wanted to be like you. How could you betray your country?" How could she? She berated herself silently. How could she expect confessions and affection from him when this lay on his shoulders. No wonder he had been so tempestuous, so strange. She had never bothered to think that perhaps his own troubles had consumed him. The memory of his face in the lantern light, his far off gaze, his distance. She would have given the world to know the contents of Tie-lin's letter, and what words had garnered the secret looks between Shang and Marshal Yu 

"Men admire achievement," he answered her coldly. "Not character. " Folding his arms he walked to and fro as if this were a casual chat, perhaps to him it was. "I didn't even think he would still be alive. I promoted him to rank hoping he would die on the field, that was to be my gift to him, a soldier's death. Who would ever think that a women would foil my plans, a _woman_." his laughter held an ocean of scorn. "He could have been very useful, if molded to the right cause, but he's always been plagued by that pesky conscience of his. I blame Marshal Yu for that, and that orphan that he's much too close to. Well, no matter, with you out of the way you can't help him, with him out of the way, that puts me five steps closer to the Imperial City." 

Within three seconds, Mulan had his motives puzzled out, Tie-lin was right, it was beyond sordid. "You staged that battle in the Pass, and let Shan-yu kill your own troops. You used your knowledge of the Imperial City to help him lay siege. You even helped him through the Wall didn't you?" She recalled the argument she had overheard between Shang and Chi fu. Once their troops turned successful, Chi fu had become adamant in reporting to the General as to why they should not come to reinforce them. It had been confessed to her how they had gotten their marching orders in the first place, underhanded as that was, the General no doubt had intentions of keeping them out of the way until the enemy was well on their way to victory. He had almost succeeded, almost, until she had done what was unexpected. 

"Very good," he nodded in approval, not without mocking though. "The Emperor killed Shan-yu's family and he wants revenge. We formed an alliance, I help him achieve his goal, he helps me secure the throne, the throne that belongs to me." Mulan raised a startled eyebrow, he laughed. "My father was foolish in giving his second son the throne, all because of her. I never forgave him." Gaozong's first son? Shang had never mentioned this. He had spoken as though his relations to the Emperor were distant, a great grandson of Taizong, not the son of a prince. But Empress Wu's son had been chosen for the throne, that was all Mulan knew. Was General Li the son of a concubine then, eldest or no? 

"And me?" She was struggling with her fear again, Tie-lin was silent as a statue, giving the appearance of meekness. "Why am I still alive?" 

He stopped only inches from her, not tall but tall enough. His eyes were cold. "I no longer have access to certain inside information. You fell into our hands, it was never my intention to capture you. Don't worry, you'll be killed soon enough. Now," he paused for emphasis, Mulan's heart stopped with the ebb of his words, perceiving her doom to come next. "I will give you time. Think of everything you know that will help me win the throne, every secret you have overheard. I have been a general for twenty years, I will know if you are lying, a disobedient soldier will be dealt with harshly. But let me ease your mind, I can be merciful. If you chose to be noble and tell me nothing, you will die slowly, and for nothing. If you chose to be smart, you will talk, and if what you say proves useful I will perhaps let you live. You have one hour to decide." 

She opened her mouth to say something, some insult, some protest, something to reflect how much she detested this man. No words would come and she was left staring at his back as he exited the tent. 

~ * ~ 

Striding down the torch lit hall, Tai-shan made his way towards Shang's room. His old friend had been usually quiet the past day and the captain knew the news he must deliver would not appease his troubles. They had known each other for ten years, school friends and military friends under the mentorship of his uncle Marshal Yu, the supreme commander of the complex at Louyang. He was sure he knew everything about Shang, his likes and dislikes, what he could not talk about and what must never be said to him. His life at home could never be touched in conversation, especially Li Shengli, nor the subject of Fa Mulan anymore. That sat well with Tai-shan, he did not care to hear Shang babble amorously about her, except that now he was forced to dredge up the latter of those painful subjects. It wasn't that he was afraid, or that he had any personal grudge against Mulan beyond the fact that she had not earned her rank as he had his, it was more that he did not want to feel obligated to provide solutions that eluded him. He hoped for her safety, but could only shake his head at the way she and Shang had been at odds the past few days. It took force to get through to Li Shang. 

A knock on the heavy door wrought no answer. That was odd, Shang was not likely to be asleep, he hardly slept at all. Tai-shan knew that from sharing a room with him at the Academy, often wondering what visions lay behind his fitful nightmares. His uncle had said to never tread there, a man's demons were his own, and so he had followed that advice for years. Still, in the back of his mind he often wondered what haunted his friend and what it would take to chase those demons away. Whatever it was, it wouldn't let Shang sleep at night, not ten years ago, not now, and that was cause to worry. 

Pushing the door open, Tai-shan gave himself away by the soft creaking. Three candles kept the room lit, enough to read by on the desk. Shang had his back to him, sitting in the large cushioned chair and gazing out of the window. A quick surveillance of the room alerted Tai-shan to something amiss, the empty scabbard on the desk, the scattered papers, and strangely enough, clothes strewn across the floor. Shang was neat and tidy, almost to an aggravating extreme. He did not move as Tai-shan crept closer, but a sword clattered from his hands only when Tai-shan's fingers were an inch away from shaking his shoulder. 

"What are you doing?" Tai-shan stared at his friend in disbelief, checking for blood on the blade, sighing in relief to see that the steel was clean. Even so, this was not like Shang at all. 

Picking up the sword again, Shang held it in his lap. "Do you ever wonder if there's more honor in living, or choosing to leave the... the crime of our own nature?" What? Was he drunk? The words frightened him, so much that he felt something catch painfully inside. Reaching down he pried the sword from his friend's hand and placed it safely behind him on the table. There was no way he would let Shang harm himself. 

"The dead can't do their duty," Tai-shan shrugged, still unsettled by Shang's question. 

Turning only his head, Shang fixed cold eyes on him. "Exactly." 

Afraid to ask what he meant, Tai-shan wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders, waiting for Shang to relax a moment before he spoke. When he only remained tense and stiff, Tai-shan grew even more worried but decided there was no point in stalling anymore. Shang's mood couldn't possibly grow worse than it already was. "She's been captured, Shang," he said softly. 

"Captured?" It was with infinite sadness that Shang repeated that word. Tai-shan instinctively tightened his arm around Shang's shoulders. 

"We found her horse, and Hun footprints in the forest. No other information has come back." He sighed, preparing himself for the violent and hysterical reaction that was sure to come at any moment. Why couldn't he just admit he loved the girl and stop torturing everyone? Why did he have to condense his feelings for her into some private inner space as if it were something to be ashamed of. No one questioned a man's love for a woman. Did he think he was the first man ever to feel it? It made this, and everything else five times more difficult. 

But the general was still frozen. "Women are worse than the gods," he chuckled bitterly. "No matter how many prayers you offer, they will only come to you in their own time." 

"Shang!" Tai-shan had had enough of this melancholy nonsense. It wasn't helping anything. "One of our generals has been captured by Huns. We don't know where they've taken her, or if she's even alive still. First of all, she's a lone woman - a _woman_ - in the hands of a monster, and second of all, she has information. Should she weaken under torture, and I don't want to imagine what kind, our country could fall. You're supposed to be in command, Shang, the Emperor didn't make you General for nothing." 

Snapping out of his trance, Shang whipped his entire body around, seizing him by the collar of his shirt. Caught by surprise, Tai-shan gasped for air, inadvertently avoiding the chill of the other man's eyes, mere inches away. "My Mulan is not weak!" he growled fiercely, dropping Tai-shan so abruptly that he fell on one knee. Rubbing his throat, he grumbled, it was a start at least. 

"Maybe not," he said calmly. Shang was moody by nature, he never took that to heart. "But we're still in trouble." 

Rising at last, his old friend sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, Shan. I've had no sleep in the past week and I'm not thinking straight." He began to pace. "To defend or attack? They say it's easier to lose a yard than gain an inch. Well if we wait them out, she might be killed, if we attack, we weaken our troops, and thus the Wall and therefore China. Which is more important?" It was an honest question. Tai-shan was surprised, any good commander would say one life must be sacrificed for his country, it was the soldier's way. But not for Shang, not her life anyway. 

"Prepare for both?" The captain shrugged. It was so hard not to let his bitterness show. "If she's meant to die they would have killed her. She's worth more alive than dead." 

Shang nodded, only half convinced. "Right." 

~ * ~ 

Tie-lin tapped her lips with a fingernail. "We have on hour," she mused aloud. 

"An hour for what?" Mulan snapped. "There's no choice to make, we tell them nothing. I'd rather be dead than a traitor. We've got to get out of here and back to our troops in time. Now for the love of your Ancestors, Tie-lin, untie me." 

Obeying at last, Tie-lin puzzled over the ropes a moment and then suddenly the knots dissolved easily. Rubbing her hands, Mulan smiled, freedom. But Tie-lin was frowning. "I'm putting the ropes back on before my father returns. We aren't running away." She said it with such authority, since when did she appoint herself the one giving orders? 

"Why not?" 

"You can't stop a raging flood, and you can't outrun it either. But if you are very wise and learn to stay afloat in the water, you'll know the right time to grab onto something and jump out." Mulan blinked, remembering a saying from Sun Tzu's book. _Your forces should be like water, water moves downhill, and swiftly._

By now, she was getting good at picking out Tie-lin's riddles. "So we play their game and see that they attack, let them bring us to Shang?" 

Tie-lin smiled. "That's right. We do nothing, and they will do everything for us." 

"Do nothing?" She pondered this, irritated all the same, what did that solve? 

Reading her thoughts again, Tie-lin stood, taking a few teetering steps back on her deformed feet. She was tall for a girl. Standing straight and still, she motioned for Mulan to rise. "You are skilled at martial arts?" Mulan nodded. "Attack me and try to knock me to the ground." 

What foolery was this? "I don't want to hurt you." It was impossible for the other woman to be learned at such things, not with those little feet. 

"Go on," she insisted. "Try." 

With no real choice, Mulan rose to her feet and faced Tie-lin, giving her a little bow which earned a smirk in return. Tie-lin did not adopt a fighting stance, but remained with her arms at her sides, her hands covered by the tapestried borders of her wide blue sleeves. Readying herself, Mulan lunged for her, thinking to force her weight against her shoulder and knock her over that way. But one moment she was in motion, the next she was flat on her face on the ground. Glancing up dizzily, she saw Tie-lin was standing as before, with only her right arm extended to indicate how Mulan had fallen. She had never even felt the blow, in fact, she was not sure they had even come in contact. 

"How... " Mulan swallowed. "How did you do that?" 

A soft smile graced the pretty woman's face. "With my_ qi_. By being one with the universe. I am the Tao, the only thing that can stop the raging flood." When she saw this had only confused Mulan further she laughed a little. "When something comes at you your desire is to fight it, you might call that instinct if we were speaking of a beast. Your energies are divided, in fighting and standing, therefore it is easier to become ungrounded. If you put aside that desire and concentrate on being still, so still that nothing can throw you off balance, by returning to what is natural, you can stop whatever comes your way." It started to make sense. Mulan remembered Shan-yu's troops at the Pass. Shang had ordered them to fight, but instead Mulan had let the snow do the work for her. Only a force of nature could stop Shan-yu's army. 

"You're a strange woman, Tie-lin." Mulan walked about to stretch her legs a bit. "Teach me more."   



	8. Chapter Eight

water8 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Eight: 

"So what happened?" Tai-shan pressed as he and Shang made their way outside, crossing the wide open fields and then ascending the steps which carried them up the watch tower, allowing them a clear view of the open steppes before them. 

Shang's eyes were fixed on the landscape, he had a strange habit of searching for clues where there was nothing, and more often than not he could find them. What is there is not as important as what is not there, he had once said. It sounded too much like Tie-lin's riddles for his tastes. Tai-shan admired Tie-lin for many reasons, but her way was not for him. 

"What happened when?" His friend asked, feigning confusion. The general knew well what he meant, and must have wanted him to pry further. If he did not want to talk about it he would have told him so by now on no uncertain terms. That was Shang, he built another Great Wall around himself; if he trusted you, you could come as close as you wanted, if he did not, you may as well stay a thousand miles away. He only bothered with those who were as moral and conscientious as he, and looked down on everyone else. It was fine for him, but Tai-shan did not agree with it. He himself had nothing to hide and wore his feelings like his raiment, being a foreigner gave him that freedom. Whoever did not like what he felt or thought, well that was their affair. 

They were leaning over the gray stone ledge now. "You and Mulan? You said she ran away, why?" 

He did not turn around. "We were sparring last night, it went a little too far, more than what was proper. I said something, she thought I was blaming her and she got upset and ran away. I never thought she would try to leave camp." 

"Wait a minute, what do you mean 'too far'? How far?" If it wasn't that an innocent woman's life was in danger, and if it were another of his friends, this would have been amusing. Shang wasn't exactly the sort who chased women in brothels, and was hardly as experienced as he himself was, but he wasn't so innocent either. Only unique women impressed Shang, a talent to admire, words to respect, or a virtue. Small wonder, considering who his mother was. Shang almost took for granted that any woman chosen for him would be beautiful. Beautiful like Tie-lin. 

However, Shang did not care to elaborate. "The point is, I took advantage of her and now she _and_ China are in danger. Now, we have plans to work out. We position all our archers on the tower where they can't be seen, put up a good watch for them, calvary at the gate so they can't ride in, spearmen on the top in case they climb, and more horses on the other side in case they do. We have eight thousand, they can't have more than four or five. It's pretty fool proof. All we need is to ready the men." 

"Well if she let you do whatever it was, she must have liked it," Tai-shan grumbled, but cleared his throat after Shang's glare. "Well that sounds good, but how do you know they'll attack here? Wouldn't it be smarter to avoid us? Not every part of the Wall is fortified." 

The general nodded. "True, but when have they ever avoided our forces? They say a good general modifies his strategy every time, and they fooled us at the Imperial City. Then, there is the possibility of ransom." 

"They know where we are, we don't know where they are," the captain weighed this out carefully, beginning to get a headache that his craving for liquor did not help. "They have something we want, and they have to get through the Wall at some point. What do you think we should do then?" 

Rubbing his eyes, Shang sighed. "Rescue her, Shan." 

Tai-shan nodded grimly. He had a feeling it would come to that. 

~ * ~ 

After putting Mulan's knots back in place, Tie-lin sat across from her again and tucked her legs under her skirts. Mulan could help but be a little envious of the other woman's grace, she was still, Mulan remembered how her mother had always chided her for always fidgeting. She wondered, growing up with this sort of woman, if Shang expected his wife to be like her, still and graceful and teetering on her bound feet in that hip-swaying way. Surely no wife of his could have calloused hands from swordplay and sun darkened skin from long hikes along the cliffs. 

"Thinking of my brother?" Tie-lin continued that annoying habit of hers. 

Nodding, Mulan shrugged. "How do you know what I'm thinking so well?" 

"Not at all well, it only seems the most natural thing for you to be thinking of." 

Staring into the candle flame, Mulan watched it dance. "He's like the moon, he has another side he is always hiding, but I know it's there." She recalled how he had held her hand that night in his room, how he had looked at her. This was all her fault for running away. 

"A sharp sword makes us a stranger to gentleness," a touch of sadness entered her voice. "It is dangerous to teach one to hold nothing but a weapon. He spoke of you often in his letters, how you saved China and defeated the Hun army. You seem to fascinate him." 

Mulan was instantly uncomfortable. "Did he tell you about... " she hesitated, unsure if she should bring it up at all. Sighing, she decided she had nothing to lose. "About the day he found out I was a girl?" 

"Yes," her voice filled with compassion. "Aand Mother, and Tai-shan. I think his-" 

She never got a chance to finish, General Li and Shan-yu stormed into the tent again, Shan-yu struggling with a snarling displeasure. Mulan hoped it was because of her countrymen. But General Li was calm, pacing to and fro again as if to remind them they were at his mercy, and that he was the master here. Tie-lin had shifted ever so slightly to give the appearance of kneeling, inclining her head deeply before him. That pleased him, he smiled cruelly and patted her head, like a pet. These powers she had, why didn't she use them on General Li? 

At last he turned to Mulan, with Shan-yu looming behind him like a prison guard, as still and steadfast as Tie-lin could ever be, but his source came from hatred, pure hatred, not the serenity Tie-lin spoke of. Mulan wondered which she found more chilling, hatred or this impartiality. 

"Have you reached a decision, lady general?" He could have rivaled Chi fu for mockery. 

Swallowing her pride, Mulan set her shoulders and gathered her courage. What if she gave something away? What if he suspected? And worse, this so disagreed with her code of honor that she felt nervousness rising in her stomach. "After much thought I've made the only decision there is," she tried to sound meek, hoping he took her awkwardness for fear. He seemed to. "I've decided there is nothing to tell you. They never tell me their plans, I'm an effigy, you may as well kill me and save time." If she feigned uselessness, it would rankle him to think she was hiding something, it might just keep her alive long enough. 

She watched Shan-yu's eyes, how they flickered ever so slightly. Did she imagine it, or was it with the loss of hope? It was wrong, she knew that, and it even felt vaguely treasonous, but a part of her pitied him. He was a monster, not even Tie-lin could save him. 

The General rubbed his hands together in cruel anticipation, almost relieved she did not concede so easily. He was a monster. "Oh, I don't think so," he laughter was all ice. "I know you are close to him, someone he trusts. I know he even bends the law for you." She flinched as his cold hand cupped her chin. "Must be that pretty face that has bewitched him." 

Flinching again, she recoiled as his thumb slid over her cheek in a near caress. It was surprising he needed any information at all, surely he had spies. But he had been out of the country for a month, perhaps Chi fu had neglected to send information, or could find no safe way to send it. 

"He tells me nothing," Mulan insisted. "That's why I ran away." 

"Shan-yu," the general stepped aside. "See if we can't make her talk." Her heartbeat rose in real fear, but she tried to fight it. A soldier must not be afraid of pain. 

Coming forward, Shan-yu flashed her a chilling grin, raising his gloved hand to send a sound blow cracking across her face. She cried out, sure her lip was bleeding by now. The two men waited expectantly, despite the pain, Mulan gathered some pride, just because she was a woman did not mean she would give way so easily. 

"Bring her!" General Li ordered, raising his voice for the first time. "And Tie-lin, let her see how easily the strong can be broken." 

Untying her bonds, Shan-yu tossed her over his massive shoulder and proceeded to walk out of the tent. Tie-lin did not need to be hauled in such a way, she followed with downcast eyes, her father behind her, half dragging her by the arm when she could no longer stand the pain of walking. 

They were taken inside a stone building and down a long torch lit hall, around a corner and into a room that was little bigger than a prison cell. Only a single brazier burned through the darkness. When the iron door slammed shut, Mulan felt herself shake, trying to slow her breathing to hide her terror from her enemies. She had to be strong. 

Placed on her feet, she was just as quickly lifted into the air again. Two thick ropes swung from the ceiling, both tied to her wrists so she was left suspended in the air, her shoulders and back soon burning from the strain. 

"Now," General Li began again. "Where were we? Ah yes, you say you ran away. I bet that means he'll come looking for you." 

Mulan gulped. "I don't think so." It was becoming harder to be brave with the two men below her, Shan-yu standing beside a wooden table laden with strange objects, no doubt with uses that would advantage her nothing to ponder. 

That denial earned her another blow to the stomach, she coughed, fighting for breath. 

"What would he do if he found out I was torturing you!" Li Shengli was irate, her strength was wearing at him. "What would he do if I killed you? Would he attack?" It took her a long moment to feel the sting of tears on her face, under the pain she had not realized she was weeping. He would do nothing, she cried to herself, he would account it a military sacrifice. He would do nothing, and that thought would rip her to pieces. 

Still she did not answer. The general's shouts continued to ring in her ears. 

"Would he attack? Does he suspect this alliance? Does he know? How many men? Tell me!" 

It was then that Mulan began to understand the predicament. General Li was desperate, and afraid. Their forces at the Wall were superior to whatever troops these villains had managed to conjure up after losing their armies. They had not expected the Wall to be reinforced so quickly, and so well. In their month of absence, and the shifting of troops and commissions, they had lost their network of spies and knew nothing of their opponent. No wonder Shang's knowledge had suddenly become so crucial. A good leader would not waste his forces if he could avoid it, not when he could just as easily embrace his son and kill him then, capturing his army whole and making use of it. But if he no longer had Shang's trust, he would have to fight to break through the Wall, which would weaken his already suffering reserves. Truthfully, Mulan did not know how much Shang knew, he may have suspected, or guessed his father was at the heart of the Hun mystery, but knew not the how or why of it, or that he was here. That was considering he even believed the rumors at all, a rumor could be upsetting enough in itself. 

Shan-yu took something from the table. It looked like a board at first but when it moved she could see it was made of long pieces of wood like thick chopsticks tied together at the ends. She grew more than stricken when he came close with the thing, already in enough pain. Forcing her fingers through the wide slots as he held it there. 

General Li stepped very close. "Tell me how much he knows!" 

Mulan bit her lip, preparing herself for the anguish that would come next. She screamed when Shan-yu pulled the string on the strange device, her fingers crushing together in unimaginable pain. She could not break, she must withstand it, she must play their game. 

The pain ebbed slightly into panic when Shan-yu brandished his belt knife and stepped behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut, almost screaming again when she felt the tug of the blade slicing open the back of her shirt. The worst thoughts came to her then, and fears, what if... 

"Give her five lashes, ask her again, and then douse her with salt water." Even at the horror of that prospect Mulan was relieved. 

It was short lived though, she screamed aloud as the whip was applied, no longer hearing them when the questions roared through her ears again. She shook with sobs at the fire of salt water on her open wounds, weeping unabashedly. 

"That's enough for now," General Li sighed. "We'll be back. Untie her and take them back to their tent." 

As soon as the ropes slipped free, Mulan fell hard on the ground in a dead faint.   
  



	9. Chapter Nine

water9 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Nine: 

The ride through the forest was silent save from the gentle pounding of the horses' feet, even Tai-shan was quiet at Shang's side, alternating from watching the path ahead of them and turning to throw Shang a concerned glance every now and then. Shang knew from the look on his friend's face that Shan wanted to say something, but he didn't, the subject of Mulan seemed to make him uncomfortable altogether. Maybe that was just as well, it was enough that Shan was beside him. But still, it was eerie that even Yao and Ling were quiet, and that Shang found himself wanting to talk for something to do, something to keep his mind off his worries of Mulan. 

Yao seemed utterly surprised when Shang turned around and motioned for him to ride up next to him. Grimacing, the shorter man steered his reigns and did so as if expecting to become embroiled in another argument in no time. After the way Shang had treated him he wouldn't be surprised at all if Yao had some revenge in mind, hotheaded enough to exact it then and there. Sighing, Shang tried to mask any traces of jealously or hostility he might have felt the for the other man. 

"Yao," he regretted that he sounded more worried than commanding. Of course he was worried, Mulan was in danger. He knew Yao hated him for what he had done to Mulan in the mountains, the way he had left her, he knew that any respect that man had for him as a leader was grudging. But Yao did not understand of course, what he had faced in his life and how difficult it was for him to trust. Yao did not understand the searing hurt and rage he had felt to learn that Ping had lied. Tai-shan was the only one he had let close to him, and now he was getting married, and Shang was left impossibly drawn to this quirky warrior girl. "Did Mulan say anything to you before she left?" 

"No," the burly man grunted, fixing his good eye on him in a glare. "She hasn't talked to any of us very much. Isn't that what you wanted? 

"I'm sorry." 

Yao blinked. "What did you say?" 

"I said I'm sorry." This time there was more force in it. 

Rubbing his hands, Yao was delighting in this. Shang knew what he was thinking, that it was high time he learned how to treat people, especially Mulan. "Say it again, pretty boy, so everyone can hear you." 

Shang sighed, but he felt less annoyed with the man than usual. His apology was sincere, even if it sounded forced and sarcastic. "My most humble apologies, Yao. I made a complete ass of myself and I'm sorry." 

"Alright," Yao nodded in satisfaction. "But I'm not the one you should apologize to." 

The general drew a deep breath. "I know." But Yao seemed to refuse to pity him. 

"So what are you doing here?" Yao pressed his advantage, obviously agitated that he had been kept unaware this long. There was only the five of them and their troops were left at the Wall. Shang had refused to wage an attack on the Huns, deciding that if they moved she would be killed. If they pretended to stand still, the Huns would move towards them, and that was what Shang wanted. So he had gathered only the five of them to ride forth, in complete secrecy. 

He looked at Yao as if he had asked why water did not talk. "Rescuing Mulan. The deeper you penetrate into your enemy's territory without being seen, the easier your victory. Their numbers will advantage them nothing. The fewer men to move, the deeper you can penetrate." Yao answered him with nothing but a skeptical look, shrugging off his years of military training. Dismissing him in his mind, Shang turned back to Tai-shan. "Go back now, Shan," he told his friend quietly. "In case something happens. I need to leave the men with someone I trust." 

Shang was growing nervous, noticing they were very near the edge of the forest, but tried to conceal it lest Shan insist on staying. He gave Shang a searching look that said he was considering it, but with a quiet salute and a quick embrace with one arm, Tai-shan steered his gray mount around and rode off. 

The rest of them moved forward. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan awoke to find her head on Tie-lin's knee. The other woman had her arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders as if she had at first been holding her still. The initial sensation which found her was the pain in her hand, burning and sharp, the hurt from the wounds on her back was different, sore and raw. Her entire body was crawling with weakness. 

"It's night now," Tie-lin said gently as Mulan shifted, her face was still serenely beautiful, unmarked by harm. Mulan's cheek felt bruised and swollen. "They should be moving towards the Wall soon. I got a good view of the camp as we walked back and forth." 

Fighting to sit up, Mulan groaned. "Great." How was that going to advantage her in this state? 

"You did well," she continued, ignoring the sarcasm. "They have hastened their attack plans because they think you are hiding something, and that Shang knows everything, even the diminished state of their troops. " 

"Why do they think I know so much? I told them the truth." 

Tie-lin laughed. "They think you are his lover, and that he tells you these things when you lie with him at night." Rolling her eyes, Mulan burst into wild laughter. She could just imagine it, a man's idea of romance, instead of confessing his heart like a woman wanted, he would instead confess his military plans for her to marvel at. Oh, it was too rich, she could not stop laughing. 

"I'm sorry, Tie-lin," she caught hold of herself finally, not without a few stifled giggles. That laugh was badly needed now. "We need to warn Shang of the attack. We need a good horse that can carry us both. We've played their game enough, haven't we?" 

Shang's sister nodded firmly. "That's why I told you we're moving out tonight. They'll give us a horse, all we have to do is sit quiet and wait. We're two hours west of the Wall now." 

Two hours? Mulan had expected more than that. They certainly had done a fine job of pretending to be far when they were so near. "How do you know they won't kill me? And do they keep us together?" 

"They need any advantage they can," Tie-lin said casually. "With only three thousand men. They'll use you to shake his resolve, and let him see you alive so he will do something foolish to save you, or surrender even." That was ridiculous, Shang would not go that far, she would never even hope for it. "As for me, well, they let me witness how they treat you so I will know the price of disobedience. They toss me in your tent so you will see an example of cooperation to follow. Men are foolish, they think they understand women and that we are simple." 

It made sense, Mulan decided as she lay back down on the rug. 

Within a short while, Shan-Yu came to usher the pair out of their tent. He picked Mulan up again, throwing her over his shoulder, while Tie-lin minced her way. After a few steps her offered his arm with a false gentility. "Allow me," he gave an exaggerated duck of his head. Taking the proffered arm, Tie-lin managed to look grateful. With those little feet, perhaps she was. 

When he set her down to free a small brown pony secured to a post, Mulan took a quick study of the camp. The horses were all mounted by their riders, gathered together on an open field facing west, swarthy banners waving above them. The tents had been folded up and everything packed away, they truly were heading for the wall, just as Tie-lin had said. Placed on the horse, her hands were tied before her and somehow fastened to the saddle while Tie-lin was draped side-saddle behind her, even her hands were bound around Mulan's waist to keep from falling. With bound hands, Mulan would have to steer the mount mostly with her knees. Not a problem. 

"I told you they are very foolish," Tie-lin whispered when Shan-yu had moved to mount his own horse secured not far away. The last pair of horses to be saddled up and mounted. "It never crosses their mind that the two of us together may be dangerous, all they think of is making us fear them." 

Mulan shrugged, nervous and sore. Using the pressure of her knees, she followed Shan-yu as he trotted off, making for the head of his forces beside General Li. No doubt a sound escort would be set to watch over them. She looked to the moon, sought a star to guide her and gathered her courage, wondering if she was putting too much trust in Tie-lin. But Tie-lin had not been wrong yet, not even about her thoughts. 

Tightening the reins in her bound hands, Mulan waited until there was a few yards between them and Shan-yu. He was no longer looking their way, but surveying the order of his troops. Swallowing her fears, she decided it was now or never. 

Pressing hard with her knees, Mulan forced the horse to steer left, in the opposite direction the men were facing, digging her heels into the stirrup to urge it into a full run. She needn't fear his entire army, it would take too much for them to turn their formation around quickly enough, they were angled west to take a more stealthy route through the forest, while she would ride for the Wall head on. 

"No!" Shan-Yu roared, whipping his head around. Mulan kept on, fighting to outrun whatever retaliation came her way. 

Our of the corner of her eye, she saw the glimmer of metal, a sword bared from the scabbard across his back. Glancing over her shoulder, she tried to gauge the distance as he twisted his arm back to throw. Her pulse hammered in her ears, she galloped faster. The sword left his hand, flashing white against the sky, Mulan's wrists strained against the ropes from keeping the reins taught, trying to steer her mount of out the sword's path. 

What happened next was a blur of confusion. 

She had forgotten about Tie-lin, and was relying on only her own skills to make the escape. In a heartbeat Tie-lin had her hands loose, breaking free of the rope with very little straining, flinging out one arm, she called to Mulan. "Go, go!" and Mulan dug her heels in with as much force as she could. 

Mulan thought her neck would break when she looked over her shoulder again, the horse was bounding so swiftly. In that deft motion Tie-lin had not only managed to deflect the blade, but it was now standing out from Shan-yu's chest as well. He lay sprawled on the ground before his troops, motionless. Chills crept their way into Mulan's skin, not daring the fathom what kind of ghost would linger in that demon's wake, and what wrath it would seek. There was no time, she tried to seize her wits again that were shaken by the sight. His wrath would live in her nightmares. Taking advantage of the shock which settled over the men, Mulan kept on as Tie-lin reached around and untied her ropes as well. Strange and remarkable powers this woman had acquired. 

Biting her lip, Mulan suppressed her questions, and rode towards the cover of the forest as fast as she could. 

~ * ~ 

Gripping the reins, Shang pulled his horse to a halt. Night made the forest difficult to navigate, the shadowy paths and pools of scant moonlight looked quite different and distorted from the bright greenery of the daytime. Still, he did his best to lead, trying to hide his own apprehension even from himself. Cowardice led to capture, and carelessness to defeat. 

Spreading out was not the best idea, whether it was only four of them, or a thousand, but it was the only way to make a rapid survey of the terrain for Hun tracks. Mulan, he cursed her affectionately, why must you always risk your life in the grandest manner possible? 

A horse's cry tore through the air, he had his sword out in an instant, searching for the source of the sound. Hooves pounded in the distance, steady and unrelenting as branches cracked in their wake. The horse was in a frenzy. Shang readied himself, dismounting, dropping beside the trunk of a tree and securing his horse behind him, where they could not be seen in the foliage. The hooves were coming closer, only one horse, which was a good sign. Settling on his haunches, Shang crouched in waiting, like a tiger governed by instinct. 

A low dark shape rushed through the trees, a horse's head and then the upright figures of two riders on its back. The small mount betrayed them, a Hun pony. Without a fearful thought, Shang sprung into the air, leaping over the back of the horse to throw the two riders to the ground. 

It was not until he had them both tucked under each arm that he realized they were female, one in silk, the other in tatters. He let the one in silk go, she was harmless and couldn't run far in a dress, but used his weight to hold the other down, his sword point at her throat. He had heard some of the Hun women were skilled fighters, master archers even and sometimes trained in martial arts. But she did not struggle beneath him, she seemed too spent for it. 

A voice snatched his attention suddenly. "Shang, let her up, she's hurt." 

Tie-lin? What was she doing here? A thousand panicked thoughts swarmed through his head. 

Too stunned for questions, the general instantly obeyed, knowing who 'she' was before Tie-lin had to elaborate. On his knees he helped her to sit up with an arm around her back. A beam of moonlight touched her face now, shining with sweat and drawn tiredly from the effort, bruised and swollen. His chest tightened in anger, who would dare? Through the tears of her shirt he could feel the bare flesh of her back, drawing his hand away at the risk of hurting her. 

"Mulan? Are you alright?" It was such a poor question, so base and inadequate in conveying the terror and worry he had suffered through the long hours of her absence. They had seemed to stretch like years. And here he was, so curt, as if she were just a common soldier. There was nothing common about her, nothing at all. 

Her breathing was labored as she sagged against him, her head finding support against his wide shoulder. He did not dare pull away, but wrapped an arm around her should and clutched her protectively. "Yeah, I think so," she answered at last. "Nothing that could kill me." The words held a forceful stubbornness, but under that her voice was weary and drained. His fists clenched in involuntary anger, this would not go unavenged. 

"She's been beaten and hasn't had any food for a day," Tie-lin supplied, calm as ever. "I suggest a doctor and a good meal." 

"So you escaped?" Both women nodded, he had a strange feeling the pair had become friends in their captivity. However that had happened, or however Tie-lin had gotten in the midst of this, would have to wait. The important thing was that both were alive and safe. "You know we were on our way for you. I hope you never thought otherwise." 

He wished he hadn't said that, a contrite shadow passed over Mulan's face. Did she not know, he would die on the day he learned that she was dead? Of course not, he had done such a good job of hiding it. 

It was Tie-lin who smiled, sharing a cryptic look with her newfound friend. "It is not enough to trust the tethering of horses, or that a chariot wheel will secure you to the ground." He didn't have time to ponder the meaning of that one, but he thought he understood. You can't always depend on what seems dependable. 

Turning back to Mulan, Shang sighed. "We'll leave this horse here, it'll confuse them a little if they come this way. Tie-lin can ride. Can you walk? Or do you want me to carry you?" It was a simple and sensible question he thought, yet it sent Mulan into a grin and though he could not tell in the dark, he was sure she was blushing. Without waiting for an answer, he set Tie-lin in his saddle before scooping up Mulan, holding the reins and looking to collect the others.   



	10. Chapter Ten

water10 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Ten: 

Tie-lin sat with her arms folded, the silk of her dress doing nothing to keep out the cold of this place. Sighing, she looked around the room where Shang had left her, the hundredth time she had done that in the half hour or so she had been sitting here. It was small and dim despite the torches on the plain walls, even the light through the open doorway hardly seeped in. 

Shang had tried to hide his panic through that rigid exterior, but Tie-lin saw it, she knew he had left her here in a rush to find the doctors for Mulan. But despite that, his abruptness with her gave Tie-lin the notion that her brother was running from her purposely, or more precisely, running from what she had to tell him. Their father, the man Shang had spent so much of his life trying to please, a traitor and much worse. Tie-lin sighed again, if only Tai-shan had tried to talk to Shang months ago, before the war, but he had adamantly refused. 

The sound of boots caught her attention again, a tall officer making his way down the stairs with four or five men behind him, their heavy, measured steps echoing in unison. Tie-lin swallowed uneasily at those hard, shadowed faces passing in and out of torchlight. They seemed so foreboding. 

The room was so dim that at first Tie-lin did not recognize the figure pausing in the doorway, not under all that armor and the heavy helmet which hid his face, but when he took it off and stepped forward, eyes catching the light, the silence in the room seemed more tense than any she had endured at her father's camp. Those eyes that were normally filled with seduction and humor now flashed in anger and disbelief. She half expected him to draw the sword at his side and explode into one of his outbursts at any moment, but he stood there biting his lip to restrain himself in the front of his men. 

"My brother did not tell me that you would be here, Captain Meng," Tie-lin spoke first, hoping to sound distant and calm. "I thought you would still be in Louyang." Here was no place to let on that they were lovers, not where Shang could learn of it, and not with any of these men who may have shared his bed before. Better to keep to the dignity of an unmarried man and woman, betrothed or no. 

"No..." He finally blinked, breaking their gaze, but was clearly off balance. "I'm not a training officer, I've never had the patience, Sha... General Li shouldn't have been either, really, but I suspect his father wanted to keep him off the field. Danger, you know." He gave her a significant look, Tai-shan hated her father, and with double cause. Setting his helmet on the desk, he continued, and formally at that. "We are trained to command elite forces. I am expecting a commission soon but," he glanced at the men behind him then shook his head. "They'll give it to a Han if they can." 

She nodded, then straightened. "Why am I being kept here like a prisoner?" 

Tai-shan blinked again, then gave her one of those smiles that made her wish she had a fan. "Well we don't want to cause a panic now do we?" The affection in his voice concealed nothing. "As you know the abduction of a beautiful woman is known to start bitter wars." She felt her cheeks growing hot at the way the men behind him snickered in amusement. 

"You came here to flatter me?" Her irritation was hardly feigned. He was beautiful, and his words and his eyes could melt her, but this was no time for flirting. 

Sighing, Tai-shan shook his head again, pulling the chair back and sliding into it casually, leaning back to look at her. "No, not to flatter. Right now it's business." He replaced his helmet for emphasis. 

"Business?" She repeated nervously, sure he wasn't going to take her news well. 

But he was busy drawing out paper and ink, his men gathered so silently behind him that she wondered why he did not wave them off. Holding the brush in the corner of his mouth, Tai-shan was quiet for a moment as he prepared the ink. "Business," he repeated, sounding tired. "You know, numbers, logistics... positions." He took the brush from his mouth and gave her a look that made her blush all over again. Laughing a little, he went back to scratching characters on the page, words she could not read from where she was. 

"I was a prisoner, not a spy," she told him quietly. "All I can do is draw you a map of their camp and tell you the only number I heard thrown around was the three thousand men they claim to have. But whether that is all, I do not know. I was only meant to be Shan-yu's concubine, they told me nothing." 

She rubbed her eyes suddenly, fighting back the images of Mulan, seeing her white face as the anguished screams echoed in her ears again. Tie-lin wrapped her arms tighter around herself, wishing his entourage were gone. She thought of the visits he'd pay her at home, at night after her father's tirades, and how all that would vanish once they fell on the bed. Sometimes she wondered if it was only the danger that kept him coming back. But watching him now, she didn't think so. 

"Concubine," he echoed in a shadowy whisper. The brush slipped from his fingers as he drew a shaky breath, burying his face in his hands a moment. When he raised his head again he looked ready to scream. 

His hand was trembling as he picked up the paper he had been writing on, folding it and handing it to the soldier on his right. No words were exchanged, but the men seemed to know what to do, saluting and filing out of the room, closing the door behind them. Tai-shan rose then, moving towards her unsteadily. Tie-lin could not take her eyes off him. She had seen him angry before, and even violent, but never like this. 

"Shan?" She tried to sound soothing, but inside she was shaking too from remembering. 

He did not seem to hear her. "Concubine," he repeated again, this time with a rougher edge to it. He was pacing with his back to her, making erratic gestures as he spoke. "They say a betrothal arrangement between families is sacred and unbreakable, but apparently not when it involves Meng Tai-shan. I know your father always hated me but he did agree, and now he thinks he can undermine what was promised and sealed under Heaven." He drew a deep breath, folding his arms. "There is nothing so amazing as how utterly the world disregards me." 

Tie-lin felt her lips move nervously, trying to think of something to say. She suspected this was brought on by more than just her father, perhaps this promotion he spoke of, perhaps something Shang had done or said. Knowing him, the latter was the most likely. 

"I killed him, Shan," was all she could say, confused as if she had just realized it herself. The sage does not kill, the teachings of the Tao advised, the sage arms herself with mercy. She swallowed. "And I saw things that I can't forget." A vision of Mulan suspended from Shan-yu's ceiling burned fresh in her mind. Even the absence could not wash the horror of that away, the powerlessness of wanting to help her. Not even the Tao was stronger than one man's twisted rage. 

Tai-shan did turn around then, seeming resolved. "He deserved to die, Tie-lin. Ever since I was fifteen they've been sending us to clean up the villages he's plundered. We never did anything but gather cartloads of bodies. Ask Shang. They send you there because they want to harden you, so you will show them no mercy when you meet the Huns in combat. It never did anything but make Shang and I absolutely sick. But it's your father that I wouldn't show any mercy now." 

"Please," Tie-lin sighed tiredly, her feet ached and she was shivering in this room. "All this talk of war hurts my head. It's all I've heard for days." 

Setting his helmet aside again, he came forward and dropped to his knees. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, rubbing his head with one gauntleted hand and sighing. "Too many things to think about now, and I made a bet with General Xin that I wouldn't drink for a week. It's not as easy as I thought." 

She only shook her head. Shang had told her that he drank too much. But she let it go for now, far from being in the mood to argue with him. "Shan," She began softly, watching the torchlight dance and reflect in those liquid eyes, staring up at her worriedly. He smelled of leather, and the amber of his perfume. "When everything is over tonight, will you come to me?" Tie-lin almost felt silly. There was no need to be coy, not with him. 

Instead of answering, he leaned forward, holding her face with one hand as his lips came down on hers, making her sigh at their softness. He was toying with her as he always did, tracing along her lips with his tongue until she had her hands on his shoulders to pull him closer. 

"Shan!" She heard the door open in the next moment, but Tai-shan did not seem in any hurry to pull away, in fact he seemed to be letting the kiss linger on purpose. Tie-lin finally pushed him back herself, lifting her head to stare into the angry face of her brother as she caught her breath. 

Shang grabbed Tai-shan by the shoulder, yanking him roughly to his feet. Tai-shan shook off his grip, looking angry himself as he walked behind her to put his arms around her shoulders. "Did you want something, Shang?" He asked casually over that possessive gesture. 

"Tie-lin," her brother was expressionless now. "I need information." 

"Can't you see she's tired?" Tai-shan snapped, then recovered himself with a sigh. "Look Shang, she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Walk with me and I'll tell you what I know. " Tie-lin gave a sigh of appreciation, but he needn't think he had to protect her from her own brother. Shang was right, there were things he needed to know. But Tai-shan was speaking to her again. "What do you want, Tie-lin? Food? Sleep?" 

She shook her head. "Clean clothes and a hot bath." It was freezing in here, and she wanted an excuse to be left alone. 

Shang nodded, "I'll find someone. They want you, Shan, on the tower." He turned out of the room towards a man in the hall, leaving her and Tai-shan alone for another moment. 

"He's going to see Mulan," Tai-shan told her quietly, sounding unhappy. But then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back," he sighed, letting her go and tucking his helmet under his arm. "After I see what kind of mess they've made of my orders." 

"Be careful, Tai-shan," she murmured as he moved through the door in a flourish of red cloak, swaggering down the hall and swearing relentlessly at a soldier walking towards him. Tie-lin shook her head at how ironic it was that she had fallen for a military man. 

~ * ~ 

It would have been such a relief to Mulan's tired muscles if she could just stretch out on her bed, but her only reward for that attempt was the sting of her raw back, her torn shirt sticking to her flesh. She was left alone after the medic ascertained she suffered no vital injury, aside from Shang, her friends, Tie-lin and even Tai-shan, her return did not send anyone in too great a fuss, either that or Shang had kept her capture a secret. It would be like him, a captured general - their good luck talisman no less - would be a threat to morale. 

Sighing, Mulan laid on her stomach, unable to get comfortable without putting pressure on her bruised cheek. She sighed again and curled up on her side. When she closed her eyes, flashes of her captivity rushed back to her. She shuddered. 

Mulan tried to hide her delight when Shang entered the room, still in his armor despite the hour, but instead of the helmet he usually carried, he held a tray in his hands. Setting the tray on the table beside her bed, he smoothed his cloak fastidiously and knelt down beside her. His mood carried the usual gravity, and more. He seemed inwardly shaken. 

"Shang we don't have much time," she was surprised at how easily important matters leaped to the front of her thoughts. After a day in the Hun camp she longed to forget Shan-yu's face and General Li's taunts that belonged in her worst dreams. She could forget all of it looking into those serious dark eyes, wondering what it would take to soften them. Not the news she had to give, surely. "The Huns are-" 

He cut her off gently. "Tie-lin told us everything." By the weight of deep unhappiness in his voice Mulan would wager she had. 

"Tie-lin's saved my life, and she killed Shan-yu without doing a thing. I wish I had these powers of hers." 

His solemnity lessened a bit. "Tie-lin is a true mystic, just like my mother. Her connection with the Absolute has taught her ultimate humility, it allows her to see through what confuses ordinary people and to act with compassion. The Emperor has promised you the highest education, you will learn more of this sort of thing." She was surprised to hear him speak of Tie-lin with a faint touch of envy. 

"That sounds wonderful," Mulan smiled, then groaned as the gesture tugged at her puffed lip. 

His hand was on her shoulder suddenly, tense yet careful as he fingered the severed cloth. "You're hurt? let me see," Did the doctor's report not satisfy him? 

In the back of her mind she felt that the request should have made her uncomfortable, that she should have refused it in her modesty. But she was tired, though her cheeks colored imagining what she would say in protest. She was a wounded comrade, for the moment at least, he had every right to want a look at her injuries. It was ridiculous that should no longer be acceptable because she was a woman and he a man. Who was watching them anyway? Still, they were more than friends and less than lovers, sensible explanations were only sensible when there were no feelings between them, and there were, on her part at least. She didn't know why she was even pondering the idea so much at all, the wounds were only her back, it wasn't as if he had asked to see the scar on her side. The image of that happening made her face flush terribly. 

Turning onto her stomach she tried to relax as he brushed her hair aside, so gently his fingers seemed to purposely linger over the shorn silky locks. That was all in her mind of course, he was simply taking care that the disordered strands did not stick to the dried blood. He was careful by nature, and a man was supposed to be gentle when touching a woman. That thought was wayward and unexpected, forbidden for an unmarried girl, and frivolous given the impending situation. But she became aware of nothing else but his hands peeling away the edges of cloth, whimpering as they were detached from her wounds, recrudescent when the cool air struck them, like the sting of salt water all over again. 

"You'll need something to keep that from being infected. I've told them to bring you water for a bath to clean up, and an ointment. I'll ask Tie-lin to help you." Despite the obvious consideration for her comfort, his voice held a hardened edge, like a sword drawn in anger. It made her feel protected and confused at the same time. 

"Thank you," she said quietly. 

He seized her arm. "Here, sit up." She did her best, every inch of her felt stiff and bruised. Shang seemed to know it and kept his hand where it was to steady her. But of course he knew, he had taken a good beating himself from Shan-yu once. His eyes were on her face now, unflinching and unavoidable, searching and searching, alight with a forlorn anger. "Mulan... it's my responsibility to ask you something, and you have to tell me the truth. I won't tell anyone but your father..." He was stumbling over the question, his tone declaring it too awkward and personal, his hard eyes vowing to tell truth from a lie in her answer. It was an awful, unbearable moment. "At any time with Shan-yu... or my father... you weren't... " 

"No." She managed to answer in one short breath. His heavy sigh of relief seemed to lift a weight from the room itself. Why, with the coming Huns and his father's treachery, did he regard her honor as the most crucial of things? 

"Tie-lin told you everything?" Mulan made a clumsy attempt at a distraction, and after his grim nod. "I'm so sorry, Shang. I know how much you wanted to live up to him. But you don't have to be him, the men respect you for your courage. He will have to be defeated though." 

"I know," he sounded so lost. "And this time I won't..." he did not continue, looking away from her. Mulan wondered briefly if he had regretted leaving her alive, until she had proven herself useful to him that is. "This time it won't break my heart any." He finished. Picking up a bowl of stew from the tray, he glanced over her critically. "Can you eat by yourself? he asked matter-of factly. That made her blush a little, the thought of him feeding her like a baby. 

Remembering her dignity she took the bowl and chopsticks. "I'm not critically wounded," she protested. "Just a little sore, so you can stop babying me." Chuckling, he gave her an amused salute. "And I'm sorry for running away." What had he meant to say to her when he had tried to call her back? There were so many times he had been close to revealing something before changing his mind. 

"No, that was my fault," he answered all too quickly before he began to rant. "I should never have acted the way I did - and that goes for all the wrong I've done to you since I've known you were a woman. I wish I could go back to that day in the mountains, I wish I could have thought clearer, shown you more compassion. There have always been whispers about my father, but in a Court there are always whispers, it comes to the point where you don't know how to trust and that can you drive you mad and make you very cold. When you were revealed in the mountains I felt that all over again and in the same moment I hated you and felt for you at the same time. When Marshal Yu came to me suspecting the worst, I was torn, and thought that you were the only trustworthy person besides Tai-shan, until I heard what Yao said. From now on I swear I will always trust you. Promise me you'll never run away again, things are much more clear-cut when you come after me with your Shaolin moves. Pain is something that I understand." 

She was beaming around her chopsticks, and trying to hide it with the bowl, lest he think her the sort who reveled too much in apologies. He had never been this sincere or open with her before. But really, that night had not been very clear-cut at all, it was the whole reason she had run away in the first place. But it seemed to settle something for him. "I promise to beat you up," she agreed with a smile, setting the bowl in her lap. "But you have to promise not to let me win. I want to beat you up fair and square." 

"Anytime, Mulan," he patted her hand. 

Then he turned serious again. Taking her chin in his hand he turned her face towards him, gazing in concern at the bruise on her cheek. With his free hand he stroked the sore spot almost tenderly, a foreign gesture coming from him. "Who did this?" he demanded, Mulan wondered why that harshness entered his voice again. 

"Shan-yu," Mulan answered quietly, trying to conceal how his touch had made her warm inside. "It's the least of my injuries." 

Mulan was too busy looking past him through the open doorway. Tai-shan had appeared in the hall a few feet outside her door and suddenly Tie-lin was there too, her silk dress gone and wearing what could only be his clothes. She watched enviously as the pair smiled at each other as he took her little white hand and kissed it. Tie-lin was beaming, pretending to swat him away. Just as suddenly, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, lifting her off the ground, both of them forgetting all dignity. Then they were smiling again, clasping hands as they continued on down the hall. Mulan sighed, it was a pretty picture. 

"What's the matter, Mulan?" Shang had noticed the change in her. 

"They look so happy together." 

That made him laugh, if not bitterly. "Tai-shan has no shame. In the years I've known him I've seen him with so many lovers, whoring himself to his superiors to get out of trouble. Now he thinks he's in love. He'd better-" His words halted and he turned to her in panic. "Mulan?" 

She had stopped listening. Her thoughts drifted when she sought to relieve her eyes from the candlelight, pressing them closed. Shan-yu's face hovered there, his gold eyes, his cruel smile, and then General Li's shouts. A hot tear rolled down her cheek, and then another, and another. She tried to swallow them, hold them back, she couldn't cry in front of him. The last thing he needed was a hysterical woman on his hands. Capture was a part of a soldier's life, and soldier's didn't cry, not a general anyway. But the images were so horrible, she found herself shaking and clutching her fingers in remembered pain. 

And there she was, weeping like a child before him, wrapped in his awkward embrace. It was so frightening and exposing, like a dressing stripped off a wound, make-up smeared from a blemish, destroying every pretense of perfection or beauty. He said nothing, no soothing words, but were than any? And he was smarter in that way. A perplexing thought found its way to her then, were tears the only way to wrench affection and tenderness from him? 

"General Fa?" The softened voice was not Shang's. Mulan raised her head slowly to see the worried faces of Tai-shan and Tie-lin through her tears. The captain was holding her hand. "There is no need for tears, General Fa, those barbarian bastards aren't going to be alive very much longer." 

Letting her go, Shang rose slowly, sighing. "Come on, Tai-shan, let Tie-lin help Mulan clean up. We've got work to do." Taking his friend's arm, he ushered him out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

~ * ~ 

Shang watched his sister anxiously as she emerged from Mulan's room. He had not been standing in the hall long, only a moment after Tai-shan had run by again to organize the men on the tower. The man made no mention of Tie-lin, not that he ever had. That was strange in itself for Shan to keep quiet about something. She had been with Mulan for an hour, helping to bathe and climb into bed. But now the normally serene Tie-lin only appeared worried and tired, looking as ridiculous as "Ping" in Tai-shan's clothes and her red slippers. Shang set his mouth angrily, it was one matter to capture a general, but kidnapping an innocent woman was a lack of honor.. 

"Brother," she acknowledged him calmly and fell in beside him, though hardly able to keep up at his pace. She seemed thankful when he slowed down for her sake, holding her arm. "She is comfortable at least, but I don't know if she'll sleep." 

"And you?" He asked quietly. He had been cold to her in his rage over Mulan, and even more so after not seeing her for so long. But little brother did not compete with future husband, this was for Tai-shan. Shang sighed with guilt, Shan was so much better at offering comfort than he, so much more tender at showing affection, not at all frightened and distant like him. 

Pausing in step, she turned to him, her face composed now, a tranquil mask. "Heaven and earth endure because they abide and let go, and do not live for themselves. It will be the same with me, brother. Water may be soft, but nothing can break it." 

Fixing her with a thoughtful look, he sighed. "Everything you and mother say to me makes me feel like a fool." 

"You know she didn't think you would come for her." 

That brought him to a halt. He grunted something in disappointment to himself before turning to face her again. He felt ashamed, and rightly so. "Tie-lin, you're smarter than I am. What do you do when you have hidden yourself so much that you can't find your way out again?" 

The utter hopelessness in his words made her smile. Poor brother, he could see her thinking as she held his arm, on the verge of laughing. "Try crawling at her feet." He was ready to tell her he was in no mood to be mocked, but her look was so serious that he did not think she was mocking. How his stupidity could amuse her sometimes. 

"She wouldn't know me that way," he mumbled quietly. He had never given up on anything in his whole life, why was he so afraid now with Mulan? 

Before she could try to reassure him, Tai-shan burst through the outside door, running straight for him with his helmet under one arm and sheathing his sword with the other. "Shang! It's the Huns. They've sent a runner from a smaller camp five miles west, he says they're headed for us, three thousand, and that we have about an hour he figures." 

"Three thousand, one hour," Shang repeated these essential facts, formulating a hurried plan in his mind. The responsibility weighed on him, but at least he had Tai-shan. They had been trained to depend on each other as comrades, his absence had made everything seem odd at the Tung Shao Pass. 

Mulan suddenly appeared in the hall, after a bit of a meal and some ointment for her wounds she looked no worse for the wear, but he eyed her cautiously as if she were still in danger. The signs of her mistreatment had enraged him, so much that he worried he could not keep a clear head tonight, that worried doubled when he wondered if Tai-shan felt he same. 

"I thought I heard you say the Huns were coming?" The question was for Shang alone. 

Giving her a grim nod, he placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her in the direction of her room again. "It's alright, Mulan, go get some rest. Everything is under control." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tie-lin shake her head at him in a warning and Tai-shan looking ready to laugh, the he did whenever Shang made a silly mistake in sparring. By now, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po had also entered the hall, no doubt with similar news, staring between the four of them. 

Glaring fiercely, Mulan shook off Shang's hands. "And what's that supposed to mean?" 

"You're hurt," he said as if it were the most obvious thing. Indeed she did look hurt, but more her feelings than anything now. He did not understand, what was so wrong with trying to protect someone you cared for? He would have told the same to Tai-shan. Sometimes even Shan seemed cooperative in comparison. 

But with his comment, everyone began to shout at once. 

"She was hurt in the mountains and you didn't care!" Yao accused boldly. Shang tensed with a twinge of apprehension. That was cruel and unfair, and he was ready strike at Yao for it but managed to shake off the urge. Was there no forgiveness for what he had done then? Maybe there shouldn't be, he sighed inwardly. 

She had her hands on her hips. "I'm fine and if you want me to prove it I'll spar with you right now!" 

"Fair enough," he stepped back from her, but his concern had faded to frustration. Mulan should have known he was only trying to protect her, wrongly or rightly, and that he did not want her to see what he was going out there to do. He did not want to see it himself either. "If you win, you can come, if not, you're going back to bed. There's plenty of opium around here to make sure you sleep, too!" 

That remark sent Ling fuming. "I thought the Emperor gave her her commission, not you? You can't tell her she can't do her duty!" 

"That's right, she has the right to serve her country, as much as you do," Yao agreed with Ling, which seemed to surprise everyone. "You aren't her father, or her husband." 

That comment caused Shang to falter a step as he took a fighting stance after Mulan. Even Mulan's cheeks turned crimson. But they both recovered quickly, concentrating once again on each other. The way her eyes held his, no one else may as well have been in the hall. 

"We don't have time for this!" Tai-shan was between them suddenly. "You can..._spar_...all you want later tonight." 

Everyone looked to him in shock, including Tie-lin. Shang saw the color creeping into Mulan's cheeks again at his emphasis on the word, feeling himself blush as well. He expected Tai-shan to laugh at his embarrassment, but his friend was standing there with an expression that was uncharacteristically hardened. 

Shang took a breath to calm himself, and saw that Mulan had done the same. "Are you sure you want to go?" This time he was asking, but not without some hesitation. "If you want to prove something this isn't the time." 

Mulan nodded, but did not look affronted. "I have to do something." 

Drawing another deep breath, Shang shrugged, following after Tai-shan who had by now stormed off halfway down the hall. Shang wondered briefly if his friend was angry at him, or if he blamed him for Tie-lin's capture. But that was not like Shan at all, his nature was too forgiving for a grudge.   
  



	11. Chapter Eleven

water11 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Eleven: 

Mulan stood at Shang's shoulder looking over the ledge of the beacon tower. He seemed calm and quite sure of himself, unusual of late, but perhaps it was because he had only one choice before him. Closing her eyes, she imagined them in the mountains again, seeing for the first time with their own eyes the destruction the Huns had wrought. It had been their first real glimpse of war and they had shared it together, the same horror, the same shock, losing in the same glance the notion that their duty could ever be proud or glorious. War was the conduct of a funeral. He had been the leader then, impossible to doubt or not to admire, he had been so strong. She had fallen in love with that, despite their quarrels. The army may have followed her ideas and plans, but a true leader led by example not orders, his example. 

They were alone again, on the tower's highest level, the others were below and the men were scattered about their posts. Mulan fixed her eyes on the terrain, respecting his silence, studying the slope of the land and the shadows of the trees, who could know which way they would come? 

"Shang?" After a quarter hour of silence, Mulan began to worry for him. "Are you alright?" 

"It's my father," he said without looking at her. It took her a minute to realize that was his answer. Then he sighed, and finally did turn to her. "When my grandfather, Li Zhi, died, his first wife took power and ruled through her children until she died four years ago. Had my grandfather not have favored her so much my father might have been heir, instead he was put into the army, maybe for his own protection from Empress Wu. When my aunt tells me of all the intrigue and bloodshed in Ch'ang-an I can't understand why he would want the throne." 

Stepping closer, Mulan slipped her hand in his. He did not draw away, or appear put off by the touch, but squeezed her hand warmly. Despite his resolve, she could see that he was seeking comfort. She could forgive him for telling her to lie down, it was hard for her to stay angry at him long anyway. 

"Remember when I asked you about Qin Shi Huang-ti?" She said quietly. "And you told me he was ruthless because he had to be? Maybe somewhere inside your father believes the same thing." 

He was silent in thought for another minute. "That's different," he said finally. "It's easy to understand the motives of a man you read of in a book, you only have the facts. It's like when you read of the slaughter the Huns brought to the villages, it does not upset you. But after you have stood in the midst of it, you no longer sleep as well. Even Qin Shi Huang-ti did not try to kill his own son, he left the throne to him." 

She had no answer to this, but tried to sound optimistic. "Well, at least we know you can't lose. We outnumber them and we have the Wall for advantage. At least it isn't both of them, we don't have to worry about Shan-yu anymore." 

"Right," He nodded. "A little bit of artillery, and there goes all our problems." She couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. 

Tai-shan was making his way up the ladder, already dirty from whatever he had been helping to move below. Mulan dropped Shang's hand before the captain could see, though he was not looking at her, he was gauging distance over the tower's edge. 

"Three thousand, and they're not stupid enough to divide their forces. But it doesn't matter, they're dead no matter what they do. I wish they'd just surrender and save me the energy. It's cold out here and I can't have a drink until tomorrow." He sat down on the ground, joined by Mulan and Shang. 

"If you wait until they get close enough you can surround them," Mulan shrugged. "There isn't much we have to do. It would take some men on the ground though." 

Tai-shan looked between her and Shang, unsure whether this was an official order not. Mulan tried to take no offense, Shang was his friend after all, of course he would trust him first. "It's a risk but it may be easier. Cannon fire will have them scattering and they'll only regroup and come back. We want to finish them. Keep the men ready to move, Shan, we don't know which why they'll come." 

"Well," Tai-shan rose to his feet after sitting for only a moment. Mulan had never seen him so uneasy. The man was always somewhat cocky and self-assured. "Come with me, Shang, tell me if everything meets with your approval." Shang rose after him, casually motioning for Mulan to stay where she was. She frowned, but did not argue. 

The pair walked beyond the doorway of the tower and out onto the Wall, she could hear them talking to the others in curt phrases the way men spoke to each other. It was hard not to feel vaguely special after he had made an effort to converse with her, and tell her about his family. Shang was making several brief gestures to soldiers lining the ledge, shifting them a few feet left or right, most of the time farther apart to span the greatest distance. Tai-shan was more animated, swearing and impatient when he was questioned. He turned his back to the north, waving his hand and yelling to an officer several feet away. Mulan watched Shang take the step to turn around beside him, she almost shouted the warning even before it happened. 

The explosion of a single cannon cracked through the air, followed by a cloud of flame and smoke and shouts from officers to duck. When the smoke cleared she panicked to see both Shang and Tai-shan on the ground, the general thrown over the captain. But they rose just as quickly, only as far as their knees for a look around before throwing themselves facedown and crawling towards her again, lest they be seen by the enemy. The cannon had been aimed for them. 

"Black Powder," Shang said, then added a few curse words Mulan was surprised to hear from him. That was real treason, to arm the Huns with the most secret of Chinese weapons. "Look," Shang pointed to the treeline, where just below it dark shapes were on the move. It was impossible to see where the cannon had been fired from, a soldier who had run up ahead and thought to be rid of Shang quickly. At first Mulan had thought this foolish, but then remembered the Huns had no idea Shang was expecting them, they had no idea that Mulan and Tie-lin had reached him in time. 

Tai-shan had crawled between her and Shang. "Wait until they come into the light, make sure the numbers are what we expected. We don't want to be caught off guard. I'd wait until they're riding close together though, otherwise we're just wasting cannons hitting one of them at a time." 

Shang nodded, "When we've picked off enough of them we'll set fire to the forest so they'll have no path of retreat, and then send our horses to finish them off." Tai-shan started to nod, but Mulan grabbed Shang's arm. 

"We don't even have to do that yet." 

Both men looked at her in shock. It was just as Tie-lin had said, they wanted to beat everything to death with their arrogance and force. 

"Keep low and let them come," Mulan continued. "Use their aggression to an advantage. Let them waste their arrows and cannons a little first. We're safe here." 

Tai-shan's eyes were wide, waiting for Shang to give a contradicting order. Instead he smiled somberly at her, nodding in approval. "We'll wait and see what they do first. Come on," he was crawling towards the ladder. 

Mulan followed the two men down the ladder into the base of the tower after the cannon fire started. Her friends were there, looking anxious. 

"I hate waiting," Yao complained. Ling nodded, sitting with chin in hands, but Chien-Po shrugged as if to say it was better than fighting. 

Crawling towards the entrance, Mulan peeked her head out, arrows and smoke filled the air, the tower shook as a cannon struck the stone. Shang slid in beside her, looking out in dismay. "Mulan, if we wait too long they could destroy the Wall with those." Mulan gulped, she hadn't thought of that. But she should have, remembering the damage the rocket had done to the Imperial Palace. Then again, she didn't really think a Hun army would have many cannons to worry about, unless General Li had managed to smuggle the prized Black Powder over the border. 

"Come on then," Tai-shan was impatient, then looked to Mulan in consolation. "I didn't put up with years of training and being Colonel Tan's love slave to sit here and hide." Mulan shrugged, did he ever do anything other than complain? 

On top of the tower again, Shang wasted no time in giving firing orders, sending the men igniting their own cannons with golden flares across the night sky. She could see the men clearly below, their ranks and columns distinctive, even the tall plumes of General Li's helmet were visible. The men did their best to take cover, firing at the incoming forces who sought to blast them from their posts before the climbing the Wall. It was a bold move, and might have worked if the Chinese were unprepared. The Hun archers had unrivaled skill, their flaming arrows soaring through the sky, striking their human targets without trying. With the cannons, the crossfire was fierce, taking down men on both sides. Mulan watched in horror as two soldiers twenty feet from her were suddenly engulfed in flame, thrown into the air by the impact and hurled twenty feet below on the earth. 

"Mulan!" Tai-shan was behind her. "I told you they were dead, Look!" Peering over the ledge she saw the Huns had started to climb, using the same grappling hooks as she had heard they'd used before. They were picked off the ropes as arrow's struck them, but enough were making it up at a good pace where a Chinese soldier no longer was positioned directly above him, or no longer alive at least. General Li must have become desperate, to send the men on this suicide mission, the plan to weaken his reason must have worked. So she had the right mind after all. 

Or so she thought. 

Her eyes panned over the length of Wall, towards Shang kneeling at her very far left. He was leaning over the edge, gazing down in distraction. Mulan felt prickles of fear and dropped down, making her way to him under the crossfire. She stopped short when words came from the other side of the Wall. 

"Shang, only son, help me and we can talk peace." It was General Li, reaching his hand out. His rope had fallen, and he was gripping the ledge with one hand. Shang was only kneeling there, watching in pain and fascination. "I had no choice but to join him, he would have killed me. My son, give me your hand. There's no greater sin than to kill your own father." 

Mulan sat up on her knees beside him, her hand on his shoulder. "Shang, don't believe him. I heard him, Tie-lin heard him. You wouldn't think your own sister a liar." He didn't have to do anything, only let General Li fall, his own arrogance would destroy him, just as Tie-lin had said. 

The general pushed her away gently. "Go back, Mulan." She didn't understand how he could make the words sound almost tender, as though speaking to her for the last time. 

Drawing back, Mulan turned again to her soldiers, unsure of what to do. She watched in alarm as Shang reached forward, gripping his father's hand and pulling him over the edge. Mulan made a quick move to find Tai-shan again. Maybe he could convince him. 

~ * ~ 

For a long suffering moment, Shang stared deeply into the cold dark eyes of the man before him, their corners tightened in desperate frustration. The grip that held his was strong, crushing Shang's fingers as his father gripped the stone with his other hand and used it to hoist himself up. It would have been so easy to let him fall, but so empty, after all the things his father had made him feel, such a quick death would never do. 

Once on his feet, Li Shengli burst into triumphant laughter. "Didn't I teach you never to trust the enemy, even for a moment?" The voice echoed with disdain from behind Shang. His ears caught the soft hiss of steal being bared. 

"You also said I was the best." Without giving him an opening to advance, Shang spun around, drawing his own sword but holding it at bay as he fought to disarm his father with a well aimed kick at his fist. Li Shengli growled, but threw the sword in the air and caught it in his left hand, trapping Shang's foot under his right arm. 

Struggling for balance, the general teetered a moment, seeing the silver flash of the blade descending upon him. He cleared his thoughts, forgetting the anger and pain and remembering the lessons he had been taught, how to disarm an opponent at every angle. Inching his knee forward, he used his imprisoned leg to his advantage, forcing his weight against his father to twist and slam his knee into the other man's middle. Li Shengli staggered back several steps, giving Shang the chance to manage a complete turn-around and catch his father's wrist before the blade came down. 

Shengli jerked his hand back too quickly, managing to lower the blade just enough so the point tore into Shang's left shoulder, piercing just beneath the armor. Gritting his teeth, Shang shook off the pain, which burned and dusted his vision with stars. He somehow managed to step back and use his other knee to knock the sword from his father's hand. 

Letting out a strangled scream of frustration, the disarmed man lunged for Shang, attacking him with his fists. Shang winced as one of his father's blows caught him the eye, but despite the anguish in his arm he recovered himself, landing a series of blows hard into Li Shengli's stomach. Anger rose in him that he tried to swallow, this was duty not revenge. A wise man knew revenge came in its own time. More advanced in years and caught up in anger, the older man tired more easily, lax in his precision, leaving Shang able to strike a precise kick into his father's ribs, sending him sprawling unconscious on the ground. 

Trying to catch his breath, Shang swayed dizzily, half in pain, half in shock, ignoring everything around him. Clutching his wound he let the blood soak through this fingers, sinking to his knees and lowering his head in pain. "Father," he said hoarsely, not knowing whether to scream or weep bitterly.   



	12. Chapter Twelve

water12 **THE WAY OF WATER**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Twelve: 

Most of the fighting was already over by the time Mulan saw Shang fall. Whatever remained of the enemy forces must have scattered and fled, not enough to be worth a burned forest, and a waste of men to pursue. But she had no thought for that anymore, rushing towards Shang frantically. 

"Shang!" She called his name in a panic, dropping down beside him on her knees. He groaned, placing his hands on the ground to keep from falling where he knelt beside the motionless general, but hardly looked able to hold himself up. A large red stain spread over his shoulder from under his armor, the torn cloth of his robe revealing the bare, sliced skin. Even his hands were coated in blood. 

"I'm getting Captain Meng," a soldier called over his shoulder as he sped past them. 

Nodding, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders before he could fall on the hard stone, he was heavy but at least he managed to fall in her lap. She tried to peel the tattered cloth of his shirt back to get a look at the wound, but he pulled her hand away. "It's nothing." 

She frowned at him. "You're bleeding badly." When she moved her arm just a little she saw the red smears on her sleeve as well. "Just try not to move." She hoped Tai-shan would hurry. 

He cracked her a weak smile. "I'm fine and if you want me to prove it I'll spar with you right now." 

Mulan laughed despite herself. "Fine, if you can get up." To her annoyance, he tried, but she forced him down again rather with the weight of her hand on his good shoulder. Settling back against her his eyelids began to droop. Mulan looked for Tai-shan and then back at him in alarm. "Shang, stay awake." Her voice was shaking. 

"Alright," he sighed, fighting to keep his eyes open. "Keep me awake then, ask me something." 

"Um," Mulan stammered nervously, finding it hard to think, blood was starting to gush through the tear in his clothes. "What did the medic say to you when I was wounded at the Tung Shao Pass?" 

The question made him chuckle softly. "He said 'Captain Li, it seems your wounded soldier is a little more than a flower vase.' It took me a minute to figure out what he meant." Mulan couldn't help but burst into laughter. He was smiling to himself, even as he fought to breathe with the pain. Funny, how one crisis became humorous when replaced by another. Then he stopped smiling, reaching up to touch her cheek. "Now don't cry," he said softly. "It makes you look so frail, just like that day in the mountains. You should never look that way again." Mulan swallowed, she wasn't... Too late, a tear was already sliding down her cheek. 

Embarrassed, she looked away. Tai-shan appeared out of nowhere, three more officers behind him, all with the same frantic look. "Did you try to stop the bleeding?" He asked in a rush, handing his helmet over. Mulan blinked at him in confusion then shook her head, moving back to hold Shang's head in her lap. Tai-shan edged closer, tearing a strip of material from his shirt and folding it quickly. Despite the panicked look painting his face, his hands were remarkably steady. 

"It's hit the artery, Shan," one of the men was saying behind him, his face grim. "Look at the color of that blood." Mulan looked down to see the wound pulsing bright red. She tightened her arms around him desperately. 

Shang only grumbled something as Tai-shan leapt on top of him, hurriedly pressing the cloth into the wound with both hands and holding it there. "It's soaking through," Mulan murmured, watching the red stain seeping onto Tai-shan's fingers. 

He tore another bit of cloth, rolling it and holding it on top of the first, leaning back on his knees for leverage. "Blood that flows out like this needs direct pressure over the artery that's cut, it takes time to stop. With your rank you should know this, you should have done something sooner." The look he gave her was bitter and scolding. blaming her. Mulan sighed and stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Tai-shan shook it off and spoke patiently again. "Nevermind. Just keep him comfortable and watch what I'm doing. You have a lot to-" He took a glance at Shang's paling face and tightened his features nervously. "Can you hear us, Shang?" Mulan felt her heart beating faster when he did not answer. "Shang...?" 

His eyes were closing, and she felt his head fall limp in her lap. Tai-shan reached up one hand and rubbed a point above Shang's lip quickly, calling his name again. "That stimulates breathing," he explained to her after a moment. "You don't want the breathing to fade." His eyes met hers as he said it, his gaze deep and severe. From the desperation in his features as he looked at Shang, and the imploring way his eyes sought the sky as though in prayer, Mulan could see that the two of them were closer than she had ever imagined. 

Shang had his eyes open in the next moment, breathing heavier now. "Shan," he managed faintly, eyes moving unsteadily to his friend's face then leaning his head back to look at her, smiling drowsily. 

"Alright, alright." Tai-shan breathed in a tired sigh. "Bleeding's stopped. Shang?" He rested the back of one blood-smeared hand against the side of Shang's face, still holding the cloth down on the wound with the other. Shang seized his wrist weakly, pressing Tai-shan's hand closer against his skin, mumbling something inaudible to Mulan's ears. 

"He's cold." One of the men said to her. Mulan nodded, seeing the way he was clutching Tai-shan's hand for warmth, his ashen face a sharp contrast with the flush of exertion to the other man's skin. "We have to get him somewhere warm, Shan, but we can't move him too much." 

Tai-shan nodded as Shang dropped his hand. "Get some opium and start a fire in the tower. We'll bring him inside once he has more strength. Mulan," his tone was much calmer now, not bitter at all. "Will you go find the medic? And tell Tie-lin." Nodding, Mulan gently slid out from under Shang, easing his head onto the ground. His eyes were closed, passed out from the pain now. But none of the men seemed worried over it. Tai-shan noticed her hesitation and laid a hand over hers. "He'll be alright, Mulan," he said gently, seeming to respect her concern. "I wouldn't let him die." 

Rising to her feet, Mulan took in the quiet determination in his face, surprised to find her eyes watering as Tai-shan pushed a fallen lock of hair from Shang's forehead. The image was too poignant for jealousy. 

~ * ~ 

At first the crackle of the fire seemed the only thing in the whole world. But ever so slowly pain settled in, burning all the way from fingers to chest as if that fire existed inside his own body. There was the sense of warmth and the weight of blankets over him, the acrid smoke smell filling his nose. Years seemed to pass before his open eyes were able to comprehend color and shape, the golden capering of the flames and the deep brown of the shadows on the stone walls. Shang shifted under the covers, under the pain he knew there was such peace. 

"Are you awake, Shang?" Childhood nightmares, that was what the soft question brought to mind. But his father was dead and those nightmares were gone now. "Shang?" 

Drowsily, his eyes brought Tai-shan in focus, kneeling beside the fire and watching him with tired, worried eyes. How many times in ten years had Shang seen him look at him that way? "Shan," his voice echoed weak and strained in his ears. "I killed my father." 

"Oh for the love of Heaven, Shang," his eyes were fierce, his angry tone hardly concealing his frustration. "And all my Ancestors - whoever they are. If you tell me that you feel any remorse for killing that son of a bitch then I will beat it out of you here and now!" 

Shang flinched, his friend was far from his usual sarcasm now. "He was still my father, Shan." This time his voice was more steady. 

"Be a man, Shang," Tai-shan wasn't going to concede an ounce of sympathy; his hatred ran deep. "Think of your sister that you're supposed to honor and protect. Would you rather she be sold to Shan-yu and raped every night so you won't have Li Shengli's death to feel guilty over? If that would have been one of my sisters or my uncle's daughters... " He let his words trail off with a shake of his head. "You have to remember some devotion for your family, Shang, you can't just think of yourself all the time." 

That stung more than the pain of his wound, but he was too tired to be angry, and tired of being angry. Tai-shan wouldn't say it to hurt him. He stirred under the blankets again, noticing his armor was gone, the shirt he wore sticking to his skin where the blood had dried. Letting out a tight breath, Shang settled on his back, glancing at his torn shirt in the dimness. 

"Here, here, I'll clean that for you," Tai-shan moved closer. "I didn't want to wake you since all I have is Liu's _Du Kang_." Shang cringed when he opened the bottle and splashed the liquor on a bit of cloth. 

But he lay back and let Tai-shan pull open his shirt, letting out a choked breath at the torrid sting of liquor on his torn skin. His friend glanced at him apologetically as he dabbed the cloth around the wound, wiping the dried blood away as carefully as he could. 

"You have a woman's touch," Shang said quietly. There was such a look of concentration on his face that Shang could not help but tease him. 

"What?" Tai-shan blinked at him then tilted his head in one of his arrogant smiles. "That's not what you said when we were sparring this morning. It seems I had a Master's touch then, look." His hand travelled down Shang's chest and he winced as Tai-shan pressed a bruise deliberately. "You can go marry your Mulan, Shang, but she'll never give you bruises like I do." His laughter was rich, even when Shang pushed him away. 

"Stop playing, Shan," Shang growled half-heartedly. 

But when he turned his face again Tai-shan's eyes were serious. "You do want to marry her don't you, Shang?" His tone was unusually quiet. "Admit it." 

A rush of a emotion swelled in him. He closed his eyes, finding it almost painful. "How can I go from holding a sword over her head in the mountains to exchanging betrothal gifts with her family? It just doesn't seem fair. She deserves more." 

A taut silence swept through the room. Tai-shan lowered his head, a struggle showing through in his features. He laid a light hand on Shang's shoulder and when he spoke his voice was unsteady. "Nothing hurts so much as not being able to confess to the one you love." Shang looked up at him in surprise. He had never seen his eyes so full of pain before. He would have given the world to know what Shan was thinking then. "I think you should do what you want, Shang." Tai-shan said more confidently in the next minute. 

"I think I'll try at least," Shang smiled to himself. 

"Here," Shan had something in his hand that Shang realized was opium. He smeared a small amount of the sticky stuff on Shang's lip quickly before standing up. "I'm going to get the others. It's cold. We'd better take you inside." 

Nodding, Shang lay back, licking the bitter drug from his lips. The first thing he was going to do was ask for Mulan. 

~ * ~ 

An hour later, Mulan was pacing outside the hall, waiting for Shang to wake. In that time they discovered that General Li had not died, but was bound in another room unconscious again and too broken to be of any trouble. It was Shang's decision what would be done with him. Mulan could not decide what Shang was most likely to do, and wondered if he had known his father was left alive all along, if he had done this purposely. Shang would rather preserve a life than take it, he had learned that much of the Way. 

"His wound is bad karma.'" Tie-lin had explained, watching in sadness as her brother was carried inside by the men. She showed an equal sadness for her incapacitated father, though of a different kind, and with more depth. The sadness for one who might have chosen a different path, a more honorable path, more like the son he so hated. "It's the price he paid for satisfying his anger with a fight. Soldiers, when will they learn? It is always better to let things be. The Tao gave birth to the world without armies, and for a long time it survived in peace." Mulan nodded her fervid agreement, Shang should have just let his father go. He could have been killed today. 

Mulan tried to hide her eagerness as Tai-shan emerged from Shang's room, the medic behind him carrying a small pile of bloodied clothes and bandages. Spotting her immediately, the captain waved her over. 

"He is asking for you, Mulan," Shang's friend said gently. There were dark circles under his eyes now. But she let out a breath that she seemed to have been holding the entire hour. Everything would be alright now. "He's had a lot of opium but I think he wants to tell you something." And with a little bow he walked away from her, scooping up Tie-lin and carrying her down the hall. 

Smiling, she made her way into the room. 

Shang was propped up on his pillow with his eyes open, his arms folded restlessly over the blankets, unaccustomed to lying still. A large white bandage was entwined around his arm and over the wound, but aside from that he was bare-chested, even his hair was beginning to escape its usual tidy knot. It was an odd picture, for someone who was always so meticulous. 

He smiled when he saw her. "Another trick of yours, _Ping_?" his voice mocked her faintly, softly. "You appear by magic every time I need you." 

Tai-shan was right, he was not clear-headed at all, but it was one of the few times she had ever seen him at ease. "You asked for me," she reminded him patiently. 

"Did I?" He blinked in uncertainty. "I don't remember." His eyes fell closed a moment and he sighed, something painful, wistful, crept across his face. "I had a dream. I was riding along the slopes of Wushan, it was lonely and dark. I met a woman there who took pity on me and let me rest with her beside her pool. She had your face." 

The poignant longing in his words was enough to make her chest ache, filling her with hope and unhappiness at the same time. She crossed to the room to him slowly, sinking to her knees at his side. Her hand inched up to touch his forehead, finding no sign of fever. His eyes still closed, unwilling to let go of the memory. He seemed so moved. 

"You've been in my dreams before," she confessed softly. A lump was rising in her throat, this wasn't supposed to be painful. It wasn't... it was... so dramatic and strange. 

His eyes had opened, blinking again as if wondering if he had heard her right. "Really? What was I doing?" 

"I don't remember," she glanced down, blushing, comrades weren't supposed to dream of each other. "I would just wake up with the feeling that you were there." 

"Was I bullying you? Giving you black eyes, laughing at you? Standing back and not doing a thing while Yao and Ling torment you?" A wave of guilt crossed his face. "Or was I being completely ungrateful, abandoning you in the cold mountains? I can't imagine what nightmares you must have of me." With another long sigh he elapsed into his usual solemnity. 

Mulan clutched his hand over the blankets. "No," she shook her head gently. "Nothing like that, nothing to do with the army. In my dreams you were always happy." 

His fingers entwined their way around hers. "Well I must have been if I was with you." 

Unable to conjure anything but a flushed smile in response, Mulan glanced at his wound. "Does it hurt?" What did the medic say?" 

Turning towards her he gave her a half smile. Had it come from anyone else she would have called it flirtatious, the way he cocked his brow and winked a little. It must have been the drug, or Tai-shan rubbing off on him. "Look at you, what if someone walked in now, they would think you were in love with me." 

At first she was abashed, then offended, he made it sound disdainful, as if he were talking to another man. Not until she caught the almost hopeful look in his eyes did she realize he was only playing, covering up his question by teasing her. 

Two could play. "What?" Mulan teased back. "I'm in love with Yao." 

He started to say something more, but stopped, meeting her eyes. For once his gaze was not hardened by anger nor darkened by worry, but it was no less intense. A part of her wanted to look away, his eyes revealing too many secrets at once for the mystery he had been. Instead she saw her chance and seized it, pulling him forward and forcing her mouth against his. His lips were soft when they moved against hers, but still the kiss continued urgently. 

A disgusted cough interrupted them. 

"General Li!" Chi fu nearly shrieked. "Can't you keep your hands off your own soldiers?" The pair of them, who could not decide whether to be amused or embarrassed, just stared at him. Finally Shang shrugged with his palms spread out to show that this was not his doing, leaving Mulan to blush and pull properly away. 

"You wanted something?" Shang recovered his dignity faster than she did, and his impatience. 

Chi fu mumbled something before scratching on his clipboard. "Yes, I am reporting to the Emperor. We will have to leave for Ch'ang-an tomorrow, the Emperor will be impatient." 

"Fine," Mulan was surprised he did not ask why. He did not seem to care. "But first we stop in Louyang to see my sister safely home." 

Nodding, Chi fu made a few final notes before stalking back down the hall. 

"Shang," Mulan lowered her voice when he had gone far enough out of earshot. "I'm not sure how far he is involved in your father's conspiracy." 

He only shrugged as if to say this too was for the Emperor to decide. Then he dropped the subject just as suddenly and closed his eyes. "Will you stay with me?" He mumbled drowsily. "I want to dream of you again." 

She nodded, quietly still holding his hand as he fell asleep once more. 

~ * ~ 

Six days later Mulan found herself at a tavern in Louyang. They had already returned to camp, bearing the news of General Li, who was left sedated with opium under a tight guard. Special pains were taken to be sure he remained alive to receive due punishment in Ch'ang-an. Death from a battle wound was too honorable an end for a traitor. 

Mulan looked around the table at her three companions, Tai-shan and Shang seemed to be paying more attention to their liquor than the meal, and Tie-lin was hardly eating herself. Too much had happened in the past few days to conjure much of an appetite. 

The solemn mood must have been too much for Tai-shan, he picked up the shot of liquor before him and set it right in front of Mulan. "Drink up," he commanded in his usual self-satisfied amusement. "I made a bet with Captain Liu that I could endure one more week without drinking." 

Surprised, Mulan sniffed at it gingerly, her nose wrinkling. She'd only ever had wine before. 

"Shan, what do you think you're doing?" Shang glared at his friend, not amused at all. "She'll pass out right on the floor if she drinks that." 

She knew it was silly, but her pride was hurt. Tai-shan saw it and laughed, shaking his head at Shang. "She wants to dress like a man she can drink like one," he reasoned simply, but he was smiling. "I told you that you had a lot to learn, Mulan, but you did do well. They'll honor you when you return to Ch'ang-an. Still, you'd better drink. No one will ever accept you as an officer until they see us carrying you out of here." He chuckled as if the image amused him. Mulan only shook her head. It was simply too difficult for him to say thank you for helping Tie-lin escape. 

Glancing at Tai-shan crossly, Tie-lin lifted her wine glass. "How about a toast?" 

After the two men nodded, Mulan tipped back the cup and tried not to choke on the awful tasting stuff, wondering what the fuss over it was. Still, she was smiling at her strange new acceptance, even if it only came from crazy Tai-shan. 

"Brother," Tie-lin was glancing between her and Shang with a little smile. "You know the Emperor will grant you a favor for your victory at the Wall. What will you ask for?" 

There was a layer of secrecy to the those words, something which made Tie-lin grin pointedly and Shang look down in smiling embarrassment. The look that passed between them was one only shared between siblings, even Tai-shan did not appear to understand when Mulan looked to him for help. 

He never got a chance to answer though. In the next minute one of Marshal Yu's men was approaching the table, leaning to whisper something to Shang which made his smile fade quickly, pressing a small object into the General's hand. 

That smile did not return when the soldier departed. "My aunt, the Princess Taiping wants to see me when I return to Ch'ang-an," he announced somewhat somberly. Mulan was perplexed, knowing nothing of this famous woman, only the name. She had heard it spoken often among the courtiers at the banquet. 

"You might account her summons as a blessing, brother." There was a slight scolding to Tie-lin's words, and that pointedness again which put Shang off balance. "If you play the game right you might understand that a woman is more likely to grant the reward you might seek.." Cryptic as ever, she took a sip of her wine, throwing a triumphant glance at Tai-shan for some reason. 

Shang was smiling again uncomfortably, shifting his feet under the table. "I'll talk to my aunt," he said quietly. 

~ The End ~ 


	13. Part II: Chapter One

rain1 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Lian-hua aka Pook 

~ I corrected it and made small changes. This is rated PG-13 for violence, off-screen sex. Mulan, Shang and the Gang belong to Disney, the rest of the folks either belong to themselves or to me. This story is based on careful research of historical facts. This story remains dedicated to Doraemon, who doesn't need a man for much of anything ~ 

Chapter One:

The full moon hung like a silver talisman in the late night sky, shining across the tree tops of cypress and cassia, renting glowing paths through the wispy grasses, painting them with silver as well. By the lush landscape the moon would seem a good omen, guarding those who dared to traverse out there in the dark. Among the common folk stories of ghosts and unappeased spirits abounded, among the wealthy intrigue and danger. For them, there was enough in the real world to fear, without the mind's worst imaginings.

Li Shang brought his gaze back to the paper before him, scratching another line of hasty characters with his ink brush before looking at the fire. It was burning low, but radiating enough light for him to see what he was writing. The number of reports after the battle at the Wall seemed endless, and he had to oversee each one before it could be given to the Emperor. Records of who had served, who had died, supplies and expenditures. It was close to midnight and he still was perhaps an hour from being done. They would reach Ch'ang-an tomorrow, with much to tell His Majesty. Shang tried not to be too concerned with that, he had done his duty, there was nothing he had done to displease his uncle. Still, who would wager anything on an Emperor's whim?

"I'm done!" Mulan announced suddenly, holding out her pile of papers for proof. She was smiling at him smugly, the same way she smiled every time she bested him at something. He gave her a half hearted smile back, thankful for her help and her presence as always, but in no real mood for games.

Taking the stack from her, he began to leaf through them. "Were you careful?" He asked without looking up. "How did you get done so fast?" There was no need to ask really. The truth was women always did things faster than men, even five things at once with their full concentration. He had learned this early, growing up in a house with three mothers and countless servants.

"Out of eight thousand men," Mulan began without even answering the question herself. "One thousand six hundred and eighty-seven casualties, two thousand four hundred and three wounded, seven hundred and thirty-two of those still critical." She sighed, pushing a strand of hair back from her face, only to end up smudging ink across her cheek. "And there are still sixty-four men unaccounted for."

"That's too many." Shang put the papers down trustingly, too tired to look through them.

She looked up at him in confusion. "Too many what? I counted right," she insisted defensively. "Each lieutenant gave Tai-shan his figures. They're right there, check for yourself."

"That's not what I mean," he said more gently. Sometimes she could be touchy when she thought her abilities were in question. "I mean none of it ever had to happen." Folding his arms over his knees he sighed, she looked startled at his vehemence. For more than a thousand years the Chinese had fought senseless wars with the northern tribes and had nothing but a few miles of land to show for it.

Not knowing what to say, Mulan started to inch closer to him. He put a hand out to tell her to stay where she was when he heard footsteps approaching on the grass. The last thing he needed was people and their filthy thoughts, especially for Mulan's sake.

"General Li," A tall shadow stepped into the moonlight, becoming just another of his soldiers, a few years younger than he, and tired, helmet in hands. Most of his troops had been left behind at headquarters in Louyang, but two hundred had come in his entourage. It was a shame Marshal Yu could not come back with him, the man had never seen the capital, but he always knew the right thing to do. "General Fa," he added another hasty salute.

"News?" Shang asked tiredly. "Don't tell me it's something that'll make me write these all over again."

The soldier smiled at a little, then straightened. "No, it's your father, sir," Shang fought a hundred emotions at once at the name, anger, pain, sadness. One never dominated the other. "He's awake for once. He asked me to find you."

All of a sudden Shang found himself looking down at the ground, too ashamed to lift his head, as if he himself had been the traitor. Instead he glanced towards Mulan as covertly as he could, mildly amused and irritated to find that she had edged her way closer despite his warning. She had placed herself just behind his shoulder as though ready to protect him in a fight. With what, he had no idea.

"Well," Shang collected his papers and rose to his feet, handing the pile to the soldier. "I suppose I should see what he wants, he might deserve that much." He was good at showing anger, hiding behind it, and coldness and apathy. Real pain he could never do justice by means of expression. The pain his father had made him feel ran deep, so deep he wondered if he would ever be rid of it. It was not easy to be spurned, cast aside and unwanted. It was not easy simply not being loved. He isn't capable of love, Mulan's eyes seemed to be saying. How did she know what he was thinking?

Without thinking of what the soldier thought, Shang motioned for Mulan to follow him as he tread across the grass to where the tents were lined. His father's tent had been kept near the center, where it was easy for the camp to keep an eye on him. Only this elite group knew of the prisoner's identity, though Shang had had to be harsh in preventing them to speak of it. Secrecy was a part of the game, mystifying officers, keeping his men in the dark until the last moment. Yet at the same time General Li Shengli was an example. Even a once beloved father was not above harsh punishment, and even a seemingly loyal general was not above the corruption of his own desires. So Shang had been hard, when speaking of him, when dealing with him, showing no emotion, no pity, and it had just about torn him up inside.

Shang struggled to preserve that guise as he entered the small tent, dismissing his escort to retake his place of vigilance outside the door. The candles were lit, revealing the propped up form against the pillow, his face darkened by bruises, his body wrapped everywhere with bandages. Yet his eyes were the same, small and round in that sturdy round face, framed by neatly bound dark hair brushed with gray at the temples. It did not look like a traitor's face, save for the eyes, on fire with hatred, hatred for the whole world. Even one small facet of remorse might have been enough to gain his forgiveness, one spark of regret, but there was none and Shang's heart sank once more.

"Why did you leave me alive?" The voice was hoarse, rasping in pain, but sharp as a sword. "I know it wasn't mercy," he nearly spat the word like an obscenity.

"Accident." Shang heard his voice shake and swallowed. One word, out of all the things he felt, all the things he wanted to say, and all he could manage was that one word, as if he had never hurt, or felt betrayed by the other man's actions.

Li Shengli drew a labored breath and turned his head back against the pillow, twisting it weakly in anguish. His eyes closed a moment, lips drawn until they were white at the edges. He let out a groan in a feeble attempt to writhe against the bedclothes, but his many broken bones would not allow it.

Before Shang realized what he was doing he turned to the guards outside. "Bring him more opium!" he ordered quickly, answered by the sound of swift running feet.

"I curse you," Li Shengli whispered as Shang turned back to him.

Ignoring him, Shang called out again. "Hurry!"

"No," this time the general's growl had force behind it. "I want to remember the pain. So I won't forget you when I escape the gods of hell!"

"Shang," Mulan grabbed ahold of his arm. "He has nothing to say to you, but to torture you." But pulling away gently he freed his arm and stepped closer to his father.

Li Shengli chuckled as Shang's uncertainty, seeming to forget his pain for the moment. "I will have a son," he spoke aloud like a prophet, "He will grow up strong and he will avenge me. He will conquer the weak in my name."

"Then I will have a son," Shang answered quietly, his father seemed to have gone mad. "And I will raise him to be a great general, and I will teach him compassion. He will fear nothing, and he will keep China safe."

"You and Tie-lin," he gave way to bitter laughter once more. "And your soft way. Pretty Tie-lin, of pure Han blood," he mused as if speaking to himself.

Shang started to say something back, but the rustling of the tent flaps alerted him to the presence of the medic. The short man gave him some kind of sympathetic look before moving towards Li Shengli. He was surprised that his father cooperated so well, or perhaps the medic had taught him cooperation slowly. Anyone trained to ease pain should know how to inflict it well enough. Any measure must be taken to subdue a traitor, even torture if need be.

"You had better make peace with Heaven tonight," Shang regained his harshness in the medic's presence. He could feel the weight of Mulan's eyes at his back, so worried. "Tomorrow we will be in Ch'ang-an."

He turned on his heels, with Mulan close behind him. Once outside of the tent he stood and breathed the night air, fighting his emotions. A mask could only be upheld for so long.

~ * ~ 

Mulan stood at Shang's shoulder, waiting for him to say something, to recover himself. He radiated anger like a physical thing, dangerous and consuming him. His father stood against everything he believed in, honor, duty and loyalty to his country, but he did not have the heart to kill him himself. It must be difficult being a man, so given to logic yet so easily controlled by guilt. It must be maddening.

The summer night was warm, the sharp cold of the north never touched the province, even the winters were mild. Cicadas chirped in a low hum in the background. She busied herself with picking out a rhythm to the sound.

It should have been enough that he had said he cared for her, but instead it only left her more confused. Caring for her was not the same as being betrothed, the confession provided little in the way of realistic security. His mother could refuse to take her in as a daughter-in-law, her father could refuse to let her live in Louyang. She may not even be the sort of woman he wanted for a wife. Caring for her as he said might do nothing practical for him. It was too easy for someone so honor bound to ignore his own wants for duty and filial piety. That was not even the beginning of it. He never let her stray a moment from his side, and always managed to employ her in whatever task he found himself presented with. It was as if she had attained some new status in his eyes, one which meant she was to be included in everything he did. That was well and good, and beyond pleasant, but what did it mean?

"It's late, Mulan," he spoke suddenly, calm but reluctant. "If you want to go to sleep, go on, there's only a few more things to do."

She nodded, not because she was tired, but because she thought he would rather be left alone. She knew her father always sat up by himself when something was troubling him, and Shang often reminded her of her father. "Goodnight, then." All she could give him was a fond smile, she could not exactly kiss him in front of the guards. She could feel him gazing after her a long time as she trotted over the grass back to her tent.

Mulan quickly tore off her armor and outer clothes once inside, blowing the candles out and climbing inside her blankets. There was nothing to do there in the dark but wait until either she fell asleep or until morning came. She hoped for the former. Closing her eyes, she tried her best to alter her breathing and trick her body into falling into sleep. Her thoughts began to lighten, becoming trite and almost comical, a far cry from the tearful nightmares of late. Her body grew relaxed and she turned over once more.

Not until she was startled awake did she realize she had even been asleep at all. Instead of sitting up she lay very still, her eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness again, searching for whatever had shattered her slumber. She looked towards the tent entrance and found a shadow which did not belong with the others. It moved forward, a rising pang of fear gripped her body with tension. Not another nightmare of Shan-yu, she pleaded silently, not tonight.

Mulan sighed with relief and surprise. It was only Shang.

Still she feigned sleep, lying there as he stepped closer. A blush began to creep over her cheeks, recalling the time she had told him her thoughts of crawling in his bed at night. She hoped he had not come for _that! _No, that would be unlike Shang, in fact she could not even imagine him initiating anything of the sort. Then again, who could say what was likely for Shang to do or not do? He was more unpredictable than the weather in the north. The picture lingered in her mind though, of him crawling under the covers, slowly imposing his will on her. Would she give in to him? Would she punch him and send him away? The question betrayed her silence and she found herself unable to keep from giggling aloud.

Mulan did not need the light to see his reaction, it was one she knew by heart, along with every other. He stopped, drew himself up, arching one brow in confusion, as if she had done something that would never make any sense at all. She could not help but laugh again.

"What's so funny?" he demanded quietly, hardly sounding amused.

"Nothing," Mulan lied to keep from embarrassing herself further. She could not possibly tell him that she was imagining him crawling in her bed.

He sat down on the bed. "Tell me."

Folding her arms outside the covers Mulan lay there in silent refusal, noticing briefly that his mood had lightened somewhat. She hoped it was because of her. It must have been, because to her absolute surprise he reached over and started to tickle her through the thin blanket. Unable to keep from laughing, Mulan writhed around and kicked at him to stop. He did not though and continue tickling her mercilessly until she scrambled out of the blanket and crawled up on her knees, shoving him away playfully.

Caught unprepared, he nearly fell off the bed, but quickly braced a strong arm around her waist to recover his balance. The motion had brought her closer to him, her cheeks burned to realize she was half sitting in his lap, her shoulder against his chest. It was so improper yet wonderful at the same time.

He said nothing, but made no move to let her go, in fact his arm had tightened around her just a little. When he leaned his cheek against her forehead she felt lightheaded, and more so when he turned his head a little to kiss her on her cheek, the motion chaste yet ardent at the same time. But it did not stop there, his finger crept under her chin, lifting her face towards him. Their lips found each other easily in the dark, and he let the kiss endure for a long moment before slowly drawing away.

"It's still an army camp," he reminded her quietly, but she was happy to hear the depth of disappointment in his voice. He let her go, and not knowing what else to do she slid back to her place under the blanket.

She was happy with that much though. "Remind me to get you alone when we aren't in an army camp."

This made him laugh out loud. "You have no shame," he chided her. Then he sighed, sounding a bit more serious. "I came to see if you were awake. I don't think I can sleep after seeing my father that way."

"I don't feel much like sleeping either," she admitted. So he had come to her for comfort, not to take advantage of her? She knew it was indecent, but it would be nice if he possessed such compromising thoughts of her as well. How could it be that she was the only one? "What will happen when we return to Ch'ang-an? I can't help but dread tomorrow."

"You too?" he sounded relieved. "It's kind of odd that my aunt wouldn't wait until I returned to summon me. Either she knows something about my father, or something else has happened." It was the something else which appeared to worry him most.

Mulan battled a strong sense of being afraid for him. "You won't be blamed for your father's actions, will you?"

"No," he answered quickly, whether in a rush to reassure her or himself she could not say. "She trusts me."

"I have heard her name mentioned so many times while I was in the capital," Mulan leaned up with interest, dropping her voice as though telling a secret. "But who is she?"

"Princess Taiping? An interesting woman. If you don't feel like sleeping I could tell you the story." He laughed uneasily. "You think my father is bad? Wait until you hear about the rest of my family, and his stepmother. At one time there was so much intrigue in Ch'ang-an that if you carried the surname of Li or Wu you were safer on the battlefield. Do you want to hear? I should warn you though, it's a bloody story."

Mulan was still sitting up against the pillow, amazed to find herself on the threshold of all his secrets, and his past, and learning why he was the way he was and the things which had shaped him. His respect for this famous aunt showed in his words.

"Tell me," she pleased, like a child begging her father for a bedtime story, wanting to hear for the tenth time how Chang'e had floated to the moon. She scooted over on the bed a little, still wrapped in the light blanket. "You can lie down if you want."

After he had sprawled out comfortably beside her, Mulan listened closely as his words filled the darkness.   
  



	14. Part II: Chapter Two

rain2 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Two: 

"Her story begins before I was born, twenty-two years before to be exact. Even her birth was remarkable. It was a year of danger for the Tang empire, war had broken out with the Tujue again, only this time they waged a successful invasion. If they were defeated, the threat would be banished forever, if the Chinese were defeated, the empire would fall. 

These wars would make little sense to anyone outside of China, everyone knows the Li family is of strong Turkish blood. But we are not ashamed of this, we celebrate it in the court, we dance to Turkish music and wear Turkish clothes. I even have girl cousins who like to ride horses, they borrow their husbands' boots and clothes and play polo together. They think it's fashionable, and very exciting. So you see, sometimes we are more Turkish than Chinese, although we are also descendants of Li Er, the man who recorded the _Tao te Ching_. But that is another story. At court, it is so fashionable to be a barbarian, and among the barbarians, it is so fashionable to be Chinese. It makes no sense at all, but this is how it happened and this is who we are. 

As I said, my aunt's birth was remarkable, but the legend is for you to choose to believe. My grandfather's wife, Wu Zetian, is said to have carried her for twelve months with no sign of labor. The doctors were mystified. The Empress had already given my grandfather four sons, two are dead now and the third is Emperor today. As soon as the Tujue waged their strongest attack against the Tang forces, and as soon as the Empire was in the greatest danger, the Empress demanded to be brought to the temple in the Palace, even though the fighting was so close to the city. She gave birth to a daughter in the temple, the people believed it was an omen. Soon after, the Tujue were defeated, and so the princess was named Taiping, Great Peace. 

In order to understand my aunt, you have to understand her mother. She ruled the Empire long before my grandfather died, he could do nothing without consulting her. When she became absorbed in raising her children, my grandfather was displeased there was no one to tend state affairs for him. He was too busy having affairs with Palace women, especially one from Korea. To solve the problem, my aunt was simply brought along with her mother as she managed the Empire. 

My aunt was something like you, Mulan, she liked to resort to tricks and games. It is lonely being an only daughter. But you understand, her life was very dangerous, yet she didn't see this at first. She was a symbol of power, and even though at that age she did not understand, she sought power, wanting to sit in the Crown Prince's place, wanting things done to her liking. You could say she was wild, but this was only the beginning. The men of the palace were already against her mother, and there was a plot to remove her from power. Some of the eunuchs and officials fabricated a story that the Empress used sorcery to hold her influence, they were Confucists and believed a woman in power was unnatural, much like Chi fu. My grandfather had the ringleaders killed, the others fell out of his favor, which was just as bad if you were after advancement. My grandfather was not a stupid man, he knew that he needed this woman close to him in order to keep the Empire together. 

The Emperor began to turn his attention on this concubine from Korea, she became his favorite plaything but she was no doll. She had a vision of her own, a vision of power for herself, that brought her and Wu Zetian at odds. My own grandmother was also one of these concubines that my grandfather favored at one time. Her name was Cun Suiliang and she was a famous calligrapher, remind me to show you her art adorning the Temple of Motherly Kindness in Ch'ang-an. She was found one day in her chamber, she had bitten her tongue until she bled to death, shortly after my father was born. No doubt Wu Zetian feared this first son would please my father and somehow threatened the woman into comitting suicide. As the Empress, she could have claimed this son as her own, but she didn't, she was too smart. She wanted a puppet, _her _puppet. It was another of my grandfather's playthings who would suggested my grandfather should hide this child. You see, my grandfather was not so inept, and he sent the child to be raised in Louyang. 

Wu Zetian was not a natural woman, and I do not say that because she was in power, I say that because she had no love for her children, in fact she saw them as obstacles. My eldest uncle Li Hong, whom I never knew, was my grandfather's favorite son. Someday I will take you to see his tomb near Ch'ang-an, and you will see what a gift he had for art. There was much talk around the Palace about his love for a manservant, but I don't think that was the reason he died. One day, he comitted suicide in secret, he stabbed himself with a pair of scissors. Some say he had gone mad, terrorized by his mother. My grandfather grieved deeply, his favorite son, the entire court grieved. I can only imagine how this must have changed my aunt forever." 

He stopped to see Mulan's eyes wide, she was leaning up on one elbow. It was no wonder, the story of Empress Wu seemed to fascinate everyone. "And the Empress?" Mulan pressed excitedly, "Didn't she grieve too? I would have been devastated." 

"I doubt she shed a tear," he answered quietly, thinking of his own father. "Li Hong was the eldest son in the Palace, heir to the throne that she wanted for herself. Maybe we cannot condone this, but in all fairness, it was better she had the throne." 

This cold and detached logic did not set well with Mulan, but she had been raised by parents who loved her. Mulan sighed and fell silent for him to continue. 

"That was only the beginning. Not long after that the concubine from Korea mysteriously drowned, and there was no need to guess who had been behind it. My aunt was apalled, and her life became darkened by these tragedies. But soon, she grew wild again. She snuck out of the Palace to meet men. Her parents did not know what to do with her, and so they sent her to a convent. They had hoped to marry her to a Tujue prince, but that was impossible given her refusal. She had her eye on a man in the city. 

It was a few years after my aunt returned to the Palace that another tragedy happened. I call it a tragedy because like my first uncle's death, and the battle at the Wall, it never should have happened and was a waste of a life. By this time my grandfather was ill. and so Wu Zetian's power had increased. My second uncle was called Li Xian and Prince of Zhanghuai, he was Crown Prince, and he hated his mother. This uncle I also never knew, it was only four years ago that Emperor Zhongzong moved his remains to Qianling and restored his title, the Emperor himself told me this story. Because Li Xian hated his mother, he had ambitions of his own, I think it was her ruthlessness he despised most. He was not stupid, but very impatient, he was tired of the old ways. Once he summoned famous scholars to court to study the history of the Liu family, who ruled during the Han Dynasty. He criticized Empress Lu, who seized power after Liu Bang's death. His mother took this as mockery, and so she sought to remove him. He tried to stage a coup, and had hidden weapons in the Eastern Palace. He was first exiled to Bazhou, and then she had him executed in secret. You see, she had no love at all for her children. And so, because of her, my aunt lost her second brother. 

The next person to die was my grandfather, four years before I was born. Wu Zetian was not pleased when my third uncle Li Xian took the throne for the first time. Now he was young in those days, and could not handle the officials well, his mother did everything for him, as well as his wife, Empress Wei. My uncle was so frightened of his mother, so frightened that he would be the next son to die. He and his wife and their daughter Princess Anle were exiled. He had another daughter, Princess Yongtai, who died nine years ago. They say she died in childbirth when she was seventeen, but who can be sure? His son, Prince Yide also died that same year. You see how it is mysterious? 

There is a fourth prince, his name is Li Dan and he is still alive today. He was emperor for one year but his heart wasn't in it. He gave up the throne and went to live as a commoner. This was Wu Zetian's chance, with no heir left in the city. She murdered all the officials who would oppose her, just as she had the concubines and sons who stood in her way. Twenty years ago she declared herself Emperor of China, and changed the Empire's name from Tang to Zhao. For sixteen years she ruled and she ruled well, despite all those who had to die for it. They say my aunt is a copy of her, but this is not true, my aunt is hardened, but she is not ruthless. 

I knew the Empress, I even helped to save her life once. In her later years she started to lose her grip on power, intrigue was everywhere. There is one thing about her that deserves infinite credit, she always picked the best people to fill positions at court, not many of them were of her own family aside from the Palace Guard. She appointed many members of my family, and so she did honor her husband's name. 

I remember so well this strange thing that happened in Louyang. I was sixteen years old and in Louyang with Marshal Yu and Tai-shan, we were guarding the city while the Empress was there visiting. I remember what happened because it was the first time I ever saw men fighting each other. It was not the same thing as what we saw at the Pass, but it was just as horrible. It was a sign that my country was being torn apart, right before my eyes. Since that day I have felt a kinship with my aunt." 

For a moment he thought Mulan had fallen asleep, she was lying so still, but she jerked her eyes open as soon as he fell silent. "What happened in Louyang?" She had her hand on his shoulder. "You can't just stop there." 

Drawing a long breath, Shang closed his eyes... 

~ * ~ 

"Tai-shan!" Shang threw the stones pieces down on the board in disgust. "You're cheating, you can't move that way, it's against the rules." Maosu was kneeling next to them, on the tower top, laughing as he brought the liquor bottle to his mouth again. 

Picking up a toppled piece and setting it aright again, the censured man glared back at his friend. "Well Uncle always said you do what you must to win a war, the rules are relative. Besides, why don't you yell at him?" He gestured to Maosu, "It's against army rules to drink on duty and at this rate we'll be carrying him back." 

"I would if it'd do any good," Shang grumbled. Maosu put the bottle down and stood up, walking a few steps to demonstrate that he was still sober. Shang and Tai-shan just looked at each other, shook their heads and rearranged the pieces for another game. 

"Oh go ahead and drink yourself into oblivion," Tai-shan relented. "Like it's any fun sitting out here in the freezing cold guarding the city gates while the Empress sits in the warm Palace. I'll bet she's got a couple of nice pets keeping her warm too. We all know what a slut she is." 

Maosu looked shocked, sputtering a mouthful of wine on the stones. "Could you go commit treason somewhere else? Some of us would like our heads where they are." After another sip, he spoke more loudly. "Our Empress is the greatest ruler this empire has even known, long live the Empress!" He genuflected with forehead to the ground for emphasis. 

Tai-shan hurled one of the stone pieces at him. "Shut up! Before your drunk ass gets us all killed." 

Before Maosu could retaliate, the silence swelled into the pounding of drums. Ignoring the bickering of his friends, Shang turned his eyes to the source of the noise, approaching the city gate. He watched from the tower as a small procession made its way to the entrance, even in mere torchlight the bright colors of pinions of costumes gave them away. Red cloaked soldiers rode well balanced white horses in the lead, bearing lances topped with red and gold streamers, flailing wildly in the night breeze. Behind them bobbed a silk canopied carriage borne by several stalwart men, followed by silk clad servants playing the drums and gongs. A middle aged woman stepped out, impressively garbed in blue brocades and glittering hairpins which caught the dim light like a halo of fireflies. The woman was tall and moved about with great dignity, stripping her of all her jewels and silks could not deny the power she held. A man appeared at her shoulder, just as finely dressed as she, yet she was undisputed leader here. Shang kept his eyes on her a moment, he had not seen this woman in many months. 

"See?" Maosu and Tai-shan were still at it behind him. "The guards heard you call the Empress a slut and they've sent word to her. The Empress has come to behead you for treason, and she heard me praise her. She's come to make me one of her concubines." 

Tai-shan laughed so hard he nearly fell over. "Then she'll execute you for wasting her time. It's like hiring an infant as a doctor, too clumsy to have a clue where to begin." He continued laughing until Maosu punched him. 

Patiently, Shang grabbed Tai-shan's arm before he could strike back. "That's not the Empress, that's my aunt, the Princess Taiping, and I don't know who the other man is." 

"Your uncle," A familiar voice said behind him, Shang turned to see Marshal Yu standing there. "Third son of Gaozong, he was exiled before you were born." So this was the Emperor Zhongzong? The uncle who had lived his life in fear of Wu Zetian, the uncle the people in the streets wanted to take the throne again. Shang compared him to the sister beside him, the finest political mind in the court next to her mother. Marshal Yu did not give him much time for thought. "A pair of rebels managed to lay siege to the Palace from within, where the Empress is now, possibly connected to the Empress's nephew, Wu Sansi, who thinks to rule the country for himself. The Princess and Crown Prince give us orders to crack their defenses. It seems the guards there have either been captured or bribed. Get your gear and get ready to move out." 

Shang tried not to show his shock as the Marshal made his way down the tower again, giving the same warning to a few other men. He seemed to be hand picking his soldiers this time. Shang wondered if he had been chosen by Marshal Yu himself, or if his aunt had asked for him. He always had the feeling the woman had something in mind for him. 

The three men shared a look of confusion before donning formerly discarded helmets and checked weapons to follow after the Marshal. They were going to see battle tonight, and for the first time in their lives. Before today warfare had meant nothing but watching and theorizing, and repeating what long dead generals had learned over the centuries, and cleaning up the messes at the border. In one way it was a kind of passage rite, they were no longer known as shadows of their fathers, but men who had earned enough merit in their own right to be entrusted with this duty. On the other hand it was daunting, better to hope for death by a rebel sword then to fail tonight. 

"Are you two afraid?" Maosu asked quietly as they made their way down the stairs. These orders had sobered him up quickly. 

Tai-shan laughed nervously, putting on an exaggerated swagger. "Fear is for foot soldiers," he remarked arrogantly. "Courage is for officers and we're supposed to be the next generals of China. See, Shang isn't afraid." 

Giving a kind of distracted nod Shang said nothing, but his hands were shaking. 

Once on flat ground they found Marshal Yu again, in the midst of three hundred men. His aunt and uncle were at the head of them, talking to each other quietly. The Princess looked Shang's way and he lowered his head in respect. Her face did not change but he was sure that she saw him, that she had been looking for him in the crowd. It made him nervous, and more afraid, to think that with that glance some unknown expectation had been placed on him. 

"We'll move on foot," Marshal Yu was saying. "We want to draw as little attention as possible." 

It was two miles to the Palace, not to mention almost another mile winding through the courtyards and parks once they did arrive. Of course they could not go as far as the inner grounds, not yet, only scan the territory through the gates. They had marched in relative silence, through the shadowy streets of Louyang. The danger was not in the city, or even at the Palace gates, but inside. Any suspicion of retaliation and the rebels might kill the Empress. From the outside, nothing appeared amiss, the guards stood watch as always. 

Shang watched with the rest of the men as his aunt stepped forward out of her carriage again. The leader of the guards saluted her in front of the gate, bowing low. his red cloak spread onto the ground, his face well disguised beneath a plumed helmet. Was he one of those who had been bribed, Shang wondered, were they all courting disaster at the Princess's command? 

"Keep watch as you were," She commanded him. "We don't want the traitors to suspect." 

He had been so busy following and watching his superiors that Shang did not notice where they had stopped. The men were hidden from view behind the outer wall, none from inside the Palace could see them, not even those in the courtyards or standing watch on the towers, the shadows of the wall hid them so well. Only a carriage was in plain sight at the gate, and who would think strangely of that? 

"She is in command?" Maosu whispered in surprise, looking from the Princess to the Prince beside her. Shang only nodded as he saw Marshal Yu raise a hand signal, directing them to move. His watched his aunt climb back into the carriage with her brother. None of them intended to be part of the fighting. 

They did not order the gates opened for them, but instead crept around to an unguarded part of the wall which they climbed over easily and slipped into the shadows of the courtyard. In the daylight, the inner yard was a beautiful place, sparkling in jewel tones under the sun, but in the dark it seemed a playground for danger. Tai-shan kept close beside Shang as the Marshal ordered them to spread out through the courtyard to secure a back entrance of the Palace. 

The three men dropped to their knees on the grass, avoiding the walks and keeping cover beneath the trees, lest they be seen by rebels in the windows above. They crawled as fast shadows over the ground, nothing that would differ from those wrought by the trees swaying in the breeze. It seemed liked an eternity before the designated entrance was in sight. 

A pair of men stood at the doors, not even dressed as Palace Guards and pacing nervously. The nervousness was enough to betray them as rebels. Reaching inside his sash Shang found the hilt of his knife, his friends following his example. They were alone, with only the three of them and the two rebels occupying the quiet corner of the grounds, and the tall stone statues of large beasts rising up in the night. The guards would have to be taken quickly, before they could give any warning. 

Tai-shan was pressed against him where they crouched in the shrubbery, while Maosu hung back. Shang gestured to the statues on either side of the doors, pointing for each of them to strike from behind one of them. Maosu was not quite sober enough to fight, he would be safer left here. 

"Stay here and signal," Tai-shan whispered sharply. "We'll be watching." The agreement more than pleased Maosu, who inched further under cover. 

Giving Tai-shan a shove in the opposite direction, Shang made his way through the shrubs, ducking behind the statue. 

Shang's eyes settled on the place where Maosu was hidden, drawing his knife and waiting for his friend to lift his hand. Everything depended on Tai-shan, on the two of them striking at exactly the same time, before either of them men could cry out. 

At the pale flash of a hand above the greenery, he lunged, gripping a hand over the guard's mouth and throwing him to ground on impact, raking the edge of his knife across the man's throat. 

There was no sound, no cry of pain, only the heavy slumping of the dead man under him. He glanced up, seeing Tai-shan rising to his knees with the bloody knife in his own hand, looking as though he wanted to be sick. He just knelt there, holding that knife, and not until then did Shang realize that he was doing the same. They stared at each for help, or comfort. Neither of them had ever killed a man before. 

Recovering himself, Tai-shan cleaned his blade, then lifted one hand to wipe Shang's face with his sleeve. Shang stared at him in confusion and then saw the dark stain of blood on the cloth. He frowned, but quickly offered Tai-shan a hand to help him to his feet as Maosu popped up and hurriedly joined them to make their way inside. 

Nothing seemed amiss in the hall, the hung lanterns and carpets only a precursor to the splendor farther inside. Shang stared down the length of the wide corridor, dominated by deep shades of red and striped with dark shadows where the lamplight did not touch. The end of the hall was hardly visible, just a portal of darkness where no one stood. 

"I want to go back outside," Maosu whispered quietly, wedging himself between Shang and Tai-shan. "I have a bad feeling about this." 

Tai-shan chuckled. "What are you scared of? It's not like we have to go save the Empress ourselves, all we have to do is guard this door. There's no one even here." He strutted forward a few steps to emphasize how at leisure he was pretending to be. 

"Get back!" Shang flung out an arm and pushed Tai-shan against the wall. The other man swore furiously but once his eyes followed Shang's he grabbed Maosu protectively beside him. The three hurriedly brandished their swords, a thrown knife slamming into the ground in the same spot where Tai-shan had stood. 

Torchlight flickered in the square of darkness at the end of the hall, and then there appeared four tall shapes and the slender shadows of drawn blades. The sound of boots pounded on the carpets, but not from them, behind them, giving them chase. When the first four came into the light Shang caught view of their clothing, hired men. Marshal Yu's soldiers soon appeared as well, plate armor gleaming in the lamplight. The rebels ran abreast to flee them through the door which Shang guarded. One broke ahead to take a lead, just as one of Marshal Yu's men raised the crossbow he held, landing a bolt into the man's back. 

Shang nearly jumped back as the man fell dead at his feet, trying to avert his eyes from the stricken face of the victim as he rolled over in one final spasm of pain. The remaining three wasted no time for last glances at the their fallen comrade. They advanced quickly for Shang and his friends. Shang poised himself for a fight, holding his sword ready, backing up towards the door. It all happened in such a blur. 

He swung the blade for the first rebel, aiming for a neat strike in the stomach. Beside him Maosu finally gathered some courage, stepping forward to catch the third man off guard. The second raised his blade, and suddenly Tai-shan yelled something as Maosu fell to the ground, his opponent joining him soon after. The second man had backed up, thinking to escape Tai-shan, instead he whirled to find himself face to face with one of Marshal Yu's men, slumping to the ground within seconds. 

Without waiting for further orders, Shang dropped to his knees. Maosu was bleeding heavily from somewhere under his armor where the swordpoint had managed to slip through the plates, twitching and breathing heavily in Tai-shan's arms. Shang's ears were soon deaf to the commotion rising in the halls, the clash of metal, the shouts of soldiers pursuing rebels. 

His friend was dying.   



	15. 

rain3 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
**By **Pooky 

Chapter Three: 

"Shang?" Mulan shook him gently. He had fallen asleep an hour ago and she would have left him that way were he not caught in the fit of a bad dream. Letting him go, she sat back on her heels, perhaps it was best to let him wake on his own time. She watched his face, drawn and pained, even in sleep his life was not peaceful. Once, she had thought that to live in the Palace meant a carefree life, full of luxury and privilege, that was all the villagers had complained about. It was a naive view, one she had upheld since childhood, it was not until hearing of General Li's treachery that she really taught herself to think differently. But how could she be blamed, she had never been educated nor exposed to the world. 

Mulan knelt there with her feet tucked under her, watching him for hours it seemed, but really it was only moments. Finally the dream let go of him and he lay still on his back with his head to one side. He no longer seemed to care that she saw him this way. 

At first Mulan had been uneasy when he had fallen asleep beside her, what if someone had come looking for him? What if he woke and something happened between them which shouldn't have? Really, it was no where near the first time they had slept so close to each other. On the journey to the mountains there was no time to set up a camp and they had all slept on the ground and she had been near him. Yet despite all that thoughtless close contact in the past, being man and woman made things so different, so awkward, as if everything, every little touch, could be construed as a prelude to something carnal between them. Being in love with a comrade was frightfully confusing. Had he still thought her a man, he might have joked with her, razzed her, laid his head on her shoulder and complained that she was too bony for a pillow. He could show humor that way sometimes with his soldiers when he was at ease. Then again, had he still thought her a man, he might not have come at all tonight. She did not want him to still think of her as a man, she prized too greatly these seemingly accidental kisses and touches. But she wanted that freedom back. 

His eyes opened, and he turned his head to the left, looking towards her then around the room in a moment of alarm. When he realized that nothing shocking had happened he closed his eyes again and laid back. 

"You never finished the story," Mulan reminded him before he could fall back asleep. "You never told me what happened in Louyang. You fell asleep." 

"I did?" His eyes opened briefly in confusion. "I mean, I didn't. Well, I'll tell you later on the way to the Palace." She could tell he was avoiding the subject, shying away from some long ago pain. He was so proud to share the blood of such great people. yet at the same time so ashamed of their actions. No wonder he fought and lived for ideals. "Empress Wu smothered her own child to have my great grandfather's first wife demoted, she framed her and became his favorite. She even forced my uncle Li Dan to publicly appeal for her to take the throne when he abdicated. Maosu never harmed anyone. She was the enemy of my family, because she stole the throne and killed so many of my relatives who stood in her way. But I served her, because I was taught to serve China, and she was China then. Ever since that day though, I wonder what is worth more to me, China or the life of my friend. I can't find the answer." 

At first Mulan was puzzled by such obscure words. They were solemn and thoughtful words, like those he had spoken after her discovery in the mountains. He had lost someone close to him defending the Empress, but she did not think that was the only point he was making. The day in the mountains he had chosen her life over the law, knowing that breaking that law could be devastating to his own future, as well as harming the discipline of the army. Maybe he had left her wounded and alone, but he had still made a sacrifice. But it wasn't for her though, not then, it was to choose the Eternal Law over the Emperor's, perhaps a small act of rebellion on his part for the one he felt he had sacrificed before. She tried not to feel hurt that this one perplexing action in the mountains had nothing to do with her, that it was some sort of self redemption from the guilt he could not shake for someone else. But why? People in her life had died in the war, an uncle, a cousin, she felt no desire to avenge them, even though they had answered the Emperor's conscription. 

It was not fair, to expect devotion from him at a time when he hardly knew her. "Your aunt," she changed the subject smoothly. "That can't be all to her story. Didn't she have her own life? Everything she did and felt couldn't all be entangled with the plots at court." 

"That's all I know," he answered quietly. "She never told me anything else, only the events at court. Most of the time she only says a few words, but every once in a while I can see her looking back on her life, and she will tell a little of it. I've carried out orders for her more than a few times." Then he sat up, rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and sighed. "Better go back to my tent," he mumbled to himself unhappily. 

Mulan frowned a little, she was not tired and she did not want him to go. But it was after all an army camp. Giving her an apologetic look for his departure, he reached one hand to brush the hair from her face, letting his thumb linger a moment against her forehead. Mulan smiled, gazing after him wistfully as he got up and left. For the first time, his departure struck her with a sense of physical pain. There were worse things in the night than sleepless silence, there were nightmares waiting for her. 

~ * ~ 

"Something's wrong," Mulan urged as they approached the Palace. Shang's eyes panned left to right anxiously. "Look at the guards, the way they're standing. They're nervous." Pointing to the Palace steps, Mulan indicated the men there, shifting their feet when they usually stood placid and still. 

Handing over his reins to a groom, Shang followed Mulan in dismounting, leading the remaining dozen soldiers who had been selected to bear Li Shengli's litter. Mulan wished Yao, Ling and Chien-Po had not had to remain in Louyang, but none of the troops had yet been officially dismissed, and the retinue which accompanied the two generals had to be kept as small as possible. Someone had to stay behind and oversee their troops. 

"We want to see His Majesty at once," Shang announced to the guards as they approached the main doors. The guards looked at each other in uncertainty, not knowing what to make of the demand. 

"Follow me then," the one who appeared to be the leader said, turning for the two generals to follow. With one look over his shoulder at the bound captive, the guard ordered to another. "Have the prisoner confined. He can be dealt with later." 

When the guard did not lead them to the throne room, Shang glanced about worriedly. They were led up several flights of steps to a different part of the Palace, a part Mulan had never seen before. It was just as fine as any other potion which she had seen, yet less ostentatious, not intended to be seen by casual visitors. Mulan tried to keep track of the corridors and turns and stairwells in her mind, but after the fifth hall appeared too much like the fourth she soon became lost. 

At last they stopped at the doors of a great chamber, lacquered and painted with bright friezes. The doors were left open, revealing a large sitting room. These were a woman's rooms, Mulan could tell by the decor, the foreign rugs done in mauves and pinks and the delicate touch to the paintings on the wide wall. Everything in the room seemed exotic and foreign. But she supposed it was as Shang said, fashionable here. 

"Your Highness," The guard's voice become suddenly formal as he bowed low on the rug. "General Li and General Fa have returned." 

Mulan was abashed, but Shang quickly jerked her down on her knees to bow as the guard was doing. With the thousand colors and ornaments of the room jumping at her eyes all at once, she hadn't realized the figure on the sofa formerly absorbed in a book. But when the woman rose, Mulan was unable to see how she had been able to overlook her at all. She was not especially tall nor short, not plump nor thin and not especially beautiful, but pretty in a regal way that was very becoming. Yet she did not need an extraordinary appearance. 

The first thing Mulan noticed was her clothes, finer than even Tie-lin's. Her gown was rich blue brocade and belted beneath her breasts to flow in wide folds to her feet, embroidered in gold thread and jade. Wide sleeves made of sheer lilac silk were embroidered in green and blue flowers, while a wide green scarf was looped over her arms. Mulan was surprised to see the low neckline exposing a bit of her bosom, she had never seen that on a woman before. Her hair was gathered and pinned with small butterfly clips atop her head, likely dyed since Mulan detected no traces of gray. Her rouged mouth was done in the same small fashion the ladies seemed to favor, her eyebrows painted into a dainty triangular arch while in the center of her forehead little pieces of golden foil formed a floral design. This must be another of those fashionable foreign customs. 

"Leave us," the woman's voice carried without her having to raise it at all. When the guards withdrew she waved her hand for the pair to rise. "Fa Mulan," her tongue clicked the name with a kind of amused interest. "This is the first I have seen of you. I am the Princess Taiping." So this was the famous aunt? Mulan tried not to stare. She was... august. 

Unsure of what to say, Mulan glanced at Shang as covertly as she could. He was calm and silent, a sign of reassurance. She remembered when she had faced the Emperor for the first time, how nervous Shang had looked for her. No such emotion crossed his face now. "I hope you're not disappointed, Your Highness." She hoped she did not make herself sound too foolish or inept. Eloquence seemed to count for much among courtiers. 

"No," the woman said quietly, as though speaking to herself. Then she spoke more loudly, in the stern voice of authority. "No. Your reputation precedes you. Anyone who can destroy an enemy army with a single cannon must be someone who can be entrusted with the safety of the empire. You disappoint no one, save a few tedious old men." 

It was not meant in humor, but Mulan laughed despite herself, thinking of Chi fu. "I was taught well, Your Highness." 

Nodding, the woman's eyes passed over Shang and then back to her in a way that made her feel manipulated despite the silence. Mulan was relieved when Shang spoke. "I received your letter in Louyang," he spoke in his dignified courtier's voice, the way he had spoken to the Emperor. "Your Highness wanted to see me? I know the Emperor won't be pleased when he hears about my father." 

"Displeased," she conceded with a nod. "But not surprised." Mulan sighed with relief, Shang wasn't going to be blamed for this at all. 

Nevertheless, Shang was perplexed. "Then you knew about my father and don't want me to tell the Emperor?" 

Sighing, the Princess began to pace, the too long sleeves of her robe flowing as she brought her hands to her sides. Something in the way she moved reminded her of Shang, every step was as measured as his words, the way she held herself so straight as if there were no such thing as leisure. Never off guard, and never undaunted, had he learned this from her? 

"My brother is no longer in this world," she intoned without pausing in step, no sign of emotion shone through her face, no anger, no sadness. Mulan did not understand her at all, her coldness. "It was his wife and daughter who poisoned him seven days ago. That is why I sent for you in Louyang." 

A chill scurried across Mulan's back. The Emperor was dead. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Mulan saw Shang's brow raise just a little, a slight stiffening in his posture. Aside from that he was as stone-faced as ever. She wondered why, and how could he? He had respected Emperor Zhongzong, she knew that, but perhaps he was as uneasy in this woman's presence as she was, perhaps it was not prudent so show grief or upset, dangerous even. Perhaps this woman wanted the throne for herself. She remembered what he had said to her once. _It comes to the point where you don't know how to trust and that can drive you mad and make you very cold._

Retaining his rigid stance, he did bow his head a little. "What do you want me to do, Your Highness?" 

"General Fa," she pushed the question aside for a moment. "Leave us, I wish to talk with my nephew." Risking a worried glance at Shang, Mulan bowed her head and ducked out of the room. But Mulan had not escaped, she was sure this Taiping could tie the puppet strings to her with a glance. Already Mulan had the feeling she was dancing to the other woman's tune. 

~ * ~ 

Shang remained standing as his aunt took her place on the sofa again. He was not sure if it was better for Mulan to leave or not. Really he would rather not burden Mulan with the sordid details of the court, but being a general meant she had to learn these things. More than that, if she was to feel any love for him at all and be a part of his life, it was not fair to hide from her the truth of his imperial relatives. She was a village girl and he was the nephew of a king, they had led very different lives. 

His uncle's death did not surprise him, the third uncle he had lost, yet it saddened him. Zhongzong was a good man, even if the intrigue around him had hindered his ability to show anything of that during his reign. He had been good to Mulan. 

"Sit, nephew," Princess Taiping gestured to one of the chairs in a flourish of trailing silk sleeve. Shang obeyed her warily, she may appear to show fondness now but he knew she was not to be trifled with. It was a fact about the ladies at Court, they won men over with yielding and flattery because it was the only strategy allowed them short of outright seduction. Yet when their targets displeased them they often met with curious "accidents". That was one thing about his aunt which bothered him, he never knew exactly what she was after. Some said the throne, like her mother, others said to save the country from the rebels at court. But she was quiet and thoughtful now, he would have thought her harmless were it not for her distant expression. "How many people have died for the throne? I lost count years ago." 

"I don't know, Your Highness," Shang answered quietly. 

She waved a hand dismissively. "Why be so formal when it is just you and I? Am I not your father's only sister?" 

"The only one I know of." He tried to hide the fact that he was made nervous by this sudden reminder of family ties. Before, he had always served her as subject to Princess, though sometimes she could be talkative with him. 

She smiled coolly. "Then you must call me First Aunt when it is only you and I." 

It was a command, smile or no, a way of forcing him to owe her some loyalty. He was in her net the moment he nodded his head. "So we have three traitors to execute?" 

"Only one to execute," she corrected. "Two to watch. Your father will be executed tomorrow. Empress Wei and the Princess Anle have a little too much influence still to be executed, here in the capital anyway. They have managed to bribe the right people who will keep them safe in the Palace. Empress Wei thinks to have the throne, but her influence isn't enough for that. To keep the peace, we must say the Emperor died of a sudden illness." 

"Who will take the throne?" Was it fair, he wondered to himself, that his father should be executed for plotting against an emperor who was already dead. Was it fair when those who had succeeded were allowed to remain alive? But he could not question her actions, he could only seethe quietly. 

She sighed, a look of genuine worry crossed her features, the first emotion she had evinced today. "Li Dan will take the throne, your fourth uncle. But he is weak as far as influence goes, he will not last long." Then she fixed her eyes on him. They were suddenly bright. "I know my destiny," her voice held a hint of passion. He shivered despite himself. "To bring peace to this country. I will see it done, no matter what the cost. You are a good man, and a great patriot. You are not entangled in the sickness of the court. That is why I will look to you to help me when the time comes." 

Shang felt a dreadful confusion, did she want him to help put her on the throne? But if she wanted the throne she could have had it already. No matter what she wanted, he was her pawn now, there was no escape. 

"You know I won't fail you," It was hard not to sound reluctant, and he had been so eager when his father had promoted him to the rank of captain. How naive, that vision of greatness. But it was joy for a chance at his father's approval, not the commission itself. 

Her expression hardened. "Of course you won't." But he could tell she was pleased. 

"First Aunt," he said suddenly, an idea coming to him, or a solution rather. Maybe he was a pawn, but Tie-lin would say control is an illusion. "May I ask a favor?" 

The small smile returned, but it never touched her eyes. "If it will make you grateful," she said mildly. 

Swallowing, he gathered some courage and seized his chance. "I want to be married, to Fa Mulan, I want your blessing." Her blessing was as good as an imperial writ. He did not like using people, but if playing this court game was the fate of a general he may as well try to find some happiness in it. Mulan was a chance at happiness, his escape from this life, a chance at a family of his own. 

"Very well." She sounded as if it were nothing, but in two words she had given him the whole world. He had not played courtier much, but he was learning. 

~ * ~ 

Mulan allowed herself the distraction of being impressed by her new rooms. This time she was officially situated in the Officer's Quarters rather than the guest apartments. Well now, at least this Taiping took her rank seriously. The hot bath and fresh clothes were pleasant, a relief to be out of her armor and into something cooler in the summer heat, although the Palace was kept quite bearable. She was dressed now in one of those new low-cut gowns with butterflies embroidered on the soft green silk. It was hard to do anything but sit still when the sash was tied so tight around her middle and the long sleeves got in the way, and she saw no reason why she had to wear make up to sit in a parlor. She wasn't going to complain though, there were more important things to worry about. 

"My lady," a servant peeked her head in. "General Li is here to see you." Nodding for him to be admitted, Mulan permitted herself a small sigh of relief. 

Shang strode in slowly, with his hands behind his back. Even before she met his eyes she could tell that he was nervous. He too had taken the time to change clothes, in fact it was the first time she had seen him in anything but military regalia. His silk robes rustled in shades of blue and red, longer and much more grand than anything she had seen him in previously. But he did not seem to notice. Fine clothes were likely nothing to him. 

"I'm sorry about your uncle," Mulan offered quickly. He looked sorely in need of consolation. 

He nodded but did not seem to want to talk about it. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to come outside with me. But maybe it's better we aren't seen together until... until," he made some sort of hand gesture for a word he could not find. "Until after." 

"After what?" Mulan asked impatiently. After his father's execution? Did he honestly think she would be implicated by associating with him? They had come this far, and grown so close, why did he always draw back after they had come so far? What was he afraid of? Vexation and hurt rushed over her all over again. Why was he always trying to push her away? "Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" 

"No... I," he cleared his throat and tried again. "No, of course not." She was frustrated, why was he fumbling over his words again? What was so hard about saying what you felt? 

She rose to her feet. "Then why are you always trying to get rid of me?" 

To her surprise, his features actually grew stern. Instead of answering, he simply put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a firm shove which sent her bouncing back on the couch. Well, he was certainly not above bullying people. Folding her arms, Mulan straightened, until she realized that she was only emphasizing what the top of her dress did precious little to hide. Giving her sleeves a twitch, she attempted to cover herself better. She felt like the dress was going to slip off, despite the sash which barely let her breathe. 

He had his arms folded, his weight on one foot, just the way he had when she was his subordinate and caught cheating for the tenth time that day. Of all those times, Mulan could not recall him uttering a word, he would just stand there and beat her to death with his disapproval. Just like the day he had discovered that she was a woman, he had not said a word for the longest time. His silence had such power over her. 

"I was going to say," he continued when he had her attention, in that same quietly impatient voice he often used with Chi fu. Mulan felt a twinge of guilt, she shouldn't have put words in his mouth. "I was going to say that we shouldn't appear too happy while my father is to be executed tomorrow and my uncle has died, not after we have just been seen with Princess Taiping. There are plenty of traitors around, and patriots, better to keep a low profile." 

Mulan failed to understand what visiting his aunt had to do with taking a walk, and why it was so compromising. Palace rules were beyond her. "I want to go home." She said quietly. 

His features softened with a sudden flash of empathy, unfolding his arms he dropped to his knees beside her. "Me too," he sighed. "But that's what I came to see you about." Mulan grew worried, he wasn't going to try and send her away again was he? Some nonsense about her safety and so on. She hoped not. "My aunt says, well, she says..." Suddenly he looked more nervous than ever and was busying himself with admiring the rug. Mulan reached her fingers under his chin, turning his face to her, leaving him no escape but to meet her eyes. "My aunt says we can be married. I asked her myself." Recovering himself, he smiled. "So see, I'm not ashamed of you at all." 

Letting her hand drop, Mulan held her breath in shock. Married? They had gone from quarrels to awkward confessions to marriage? She... she could marry him? "Oh..." was the only sound she could get out. Her hand was trembling excitedly in her lap. "Oh, Shang, I... " Without knowing what else to do, she threw her arms around him. "You mean, you actually want this?" Her words were muffled in his shoulder. 

Pulling back so he could look at her, he smiled. "Of course." Then he sat back on his heels and sighed, taking her hands. "I know I haven't always been good to you. But after the way I treated you at first I felt I didn't have a right to love you." 

Mulan closed her eyes with a pang of sadness. She was so tired of remembering that day. The cold and brutal eyes, the depth of his anger caught in the throes of one savage emotion, it was too much. It was true that she could understand his rage then, and it was true that he had quickly brushed his anger aside, replacing it with trust and faith in her abilities at the Palace. But when the memory still brought her flashes of fear and pain - and when the same memory ate away at him, drowning him in remorse - how did they get past it? 

They remained in silence for a long moment, his hands warm and strong around hers. But he was quiet where he sat at her feet, waiting patiently for her answer. She did not have an answer, but she smiled, she would not allow the past to tarnish the future before her. Surely it was so much brighter than her village life, all the scorn and harsh whispers that had surrounded her growing up. "I want to write to my family, to tell them the goods news." 

He nodded. "Good. Within a week we can go home, after things are settled here in the city. Maybe we can finally have a peaceful life, now that the Hun threat is settled." Rising, Shang sat beside her on the sofa. He seemed too trapped in fathomless worries to truly embrace the joy of that prospect. "Tomorrow isn't going to be pleasant." 

"It will be over quickly," she hoped to sound comforting. Inside, she was still smiling, though she knew it was a shaming moment for his family. She was getting married, and not to tend the house of some withered old man because no one else wanted her, she was going to marry Li Shang. At that moment, the whole dynasty could crumble for all she cared.   
  



	16. 

rain4 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Four: 

It was a surprise how easily Shang found himself surrendering to sleep that night, his eyes had fallen closed only moments after settling in the large bed. True, a proper bed was much more inviting than a pile of blankets on the ground or one of the hard cots at camp, but tonight his mind was not plagued by the usual sorrows which tugged at him and kept him awake through the long hours of darkness. Even his dreams were pleasant, not haunted by his father's face, but brightened with images of Mulan, and his home. He relished those dreams, embracing them and letting them abound as a rare moment of contentment, so rare that he did not want to wake. 

A warm touch trailed across his cheek, the brush of soft fingertips. "Ping," he whispered the name aloud like a holy word. In his dream she had come to his tent in the night, at Wu Zhong, barefoot and in only her training clothes, smelling of clean water from the lake. "Ping, you can't tell anyone..." The hand was inching down his neck, fingers spreading in exploration as the palm slid over his bare chest. His head twisted to one side involuntarily, reveling in the touch, seeing the green robe of her uniform fall from her slight shoulders. "Ping, you're so beautiful..." His hand reached up of it's own accord. 

His eyes flew open in an instant, the contours of the face he was touching unfamiliar to his fingertips. 

He lay very still, slowing his breathing to lull his pulse, trying to shake off the heat of the dream. When he had regained enough clarity, his eyes scanned the room from left to right, his instincts warning him to danger. The figure sitting on the bed was definitely not Mulan, for one thing she was not as thin, but slightly plump in the way some men found enticing and taller than Mulan. Shang sat up at once, knowing better than to assume her harmless simply because she was female. It was not until her fingers moved lower to peel the silk sheet away from him did he realize that her hand was still on his chest. He pried her fingers away firmly, but not with enough force to hurt her. 

"Your Majesty," her voice was like the silk against his skin, warm silk. Before he could utter a word to protest the title, she had her arms locked around his neck and was forcing him down on the pillows again, trying to roll him on top of her. Breaking free of her hold and sliding safely to one side of the bed did no good, in fact it was worse. She rose to her knees on the coverlet. 

"Your Majesty," she said again in that smoky voice. He could feel her eyes on him as she reached for the collar of her robe, pulling it slowly away from her body. "I know you must be bored with all your other wives." In the dark, all he could see were her white shoulders as the bit of dark cloth slid away. "I know men are always looking for a new... conquest. I have not yet been married, I've never lain with any man. I know this must please you and so I offer myself. Take me, Your Majesty," her voice turned pleading as she lowered herself on hands and knees, crawling towards him on the bed. "I will beg if you wish." 

Before he realized it, Shang was looking frantically around the room for help. He thought about calling the guards, but that would be too ridiculous to be believable. Simply appeasing her wishes was out of the question, and not just because of Mulan. It was bad enough that someone might have seen her enter his rooms. Who knew whose daughter she was, and what story she would spin in the morning, claiming he had forced her and thus tarnishing his career, which may be her entire goal in the first place. But that did not answer the question of why she would address him as the Emperor? Did she think that Taiping meant to put him on the throne? 

He had his hands on her arms, keeping her at bay while he climbed off the bed and stood up, letting her go only to wrap his robe around him, wishing she would do the same. In the glint of moonlight from the window, he could see more than anyone but a husband had a right to through the thin silk of her nightdress. 

"I'm not the Emperor," he declared firmly, feeling much more confident with a good few feet between them. "And I think it would be best for you to go back to your room." 

Sitting up properly again, he thought he saw her fold her hands in her lap. "I don't want to go back to my room." Seduction was exchanged for stubbornness, haughtiness even. Then she sighed, lowering her voice. "Your Majesty, please don't let them execute me tomorrow. I know I did a terrible thing, but I didn't know what I was doing. Please, I don't want to die." Her voice trembled on the last word, her whole body seemed to tremble with it. 

"Wait a minute," Shang stepped a little closer. "What happened?" 

"Tomorrow," she continued, beginning to sob. He started to feel contrite, this was no act. "All traitors must die. They all want to see my blood spilled because of what I've done. I hear a voice in my mind that tells me now that you have taken the throne you are the only one who can pardon me. It tells me to come to you, because you are merciful. Your Majesty, my mother said she would disown me if I didn't do it, and have me exiled like grandmother did to my father. I've never lived anywhere but the Palace, and I didn't know, I didn't know the perfume was..." Instead of tears, she broke into hysterical laughter, so much that she rolled over on the bed, clutching her stomach. "I killed my father!" Finally the tears did come, she was laughing and weeping all at once. 'Your Majesty, make me one of your wives if you wish, but don't let them kill me tomorrow. I am too terrified to face the gods of hell." 

Of course, the scene started to make sense. Princess Anle. She had gone mad apparently. 

"I'm not the-" but it was no use. "Just stay where you are." Quickly darting through the outer room he found the guard. "Get General Fa, quickly." 

Princess Anle was even less lucid when he returned, ranting in the throes of her hysteria. "Oh Your Majesty, it was so horrible. Father was angry with me because I insisted on marrying one of the guards. He wanted me to marry some foreign prince. We hadn't spoken for days. Mother said bringing him the perfume would be a sure way to gain his forgiveness. She said it was from Persia, and I knew he was fond of foreign things. He was standing there, and he smiled at me as he sniffed it and dabbed a little on his throat. Then... then he started to scream, running around and scratching at his throat. He tore open his own skin with his nails, and then he fell. It was so horrible, I tried to run to find my mother but she had locked me in the chamber and did not return for an hour. I just sat there by my father, but he wouldn't answer me. There was blood all over his robes and his hands. Mother made me help her pick him up and prop him in his chair and wrap a scarf around his neck. He was so stiff and cold... and he wouldn't answer me... " her words were muffled by another bout of sobs. He gave a shudder at the horrid image. 

"Shang?" He turned immediately to the sound of Mulan's voice, and breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he saw her in the doorway with a candle in one hand. The yellow sphere of light revealed Anle indeed, curled up like an infant against the bedclothes, quivering with her tears. 

Before he could explain, the Princess had leapt from the bed, throwing herself at Mulan's feet with forehead pressed to the carpet. "Queen Mother of the Western Skies!" She exclaimed in a near shriek. "Auntie Queen Mother and Golden Primordial Sovereign." The picture was more than disturbing, as she genuflected frantically before Mulan, crying all the tears she had. Her hair and clothes were by now hopelessly disheveled. "Take me to your Palace on Kunlun Mountain, in the city of Twelve Jade Mansions. I want to leave Ch'ang-an forever. Make one of your Celestial Maidens so I never have to face the gods of hell." 

Mulan was utterly taken aback, inching her slipper skittishly away from the other woman. Yet her face shone with sadness and pity. "I thought you would know what to do for her," he said quietly. "Being a... a woman." Women always knew what to do when someone needed soothing. He looked at his cousin with his own sense of sadness, he was a soldier, cold and rough in that way, he had no idea how to comfort a woman. What kind of husband would that make him? 

"Lock her in her rooms," she replied as if it were obvious. Shang blinked, he had expected the two women to sit down together, that Mulan would talk to her and make her see reason again. They couldn't just leave her this way, babbling and insane. 

Sighing, he knew something had to be done with her at least for tonight. "Will you go get Princess Taipaing? Have her servants wake her." Nodding, Mulan seemed to want any excuse to get out of the room. 

"No Auntie Queen Mother, wait!" the Princess tried to cling to the end of Mulan's robe, but to no avail. She turned her tearful and panicked eyes on him. "Your Majesty call her back, she has to take me with her!" 

Dropping to his knees beside her, he took her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Princess Anle," he said the name sternly - though it was impolite to address her so - hoping to reach her. "Cousin, General Fa has gone to get our aunt. Anle," her eyes were so wild still. "Do you know who I am?" 

"The new Emperor of China," her whisper tremored slightly. 

It was hopeless. "My name, what's my name?" 

"You are the Emperor of China, I cannot say your name. It is forbidden." She began to sob again suddenly, murmuring something more about her father. Falling against his shoulder, she wept bitterly. He had no choice but to put an arm around her to try and soothe her. He wished his aunt would hurry, much as he hated to call for her aid. The more it appeared he needed her, the further he was entangled in her trap. He did need her though, who knew what would come of it if he was seen dragging an Imperial Princess to her bedchamber, with Empress Wei's eyes and ears everywhere. No one would question Taiping with the girl, not when she had the power to command the guards. 

Princess Taiping arrived within a few moments, striding across the room briskly, while Mulan kept a wary distance behind her. She had no paint on her face, no jewelry, but still she managed to look austere. Anle was still weeping, still begging him to spare her life. 

In the shallow light of Mulan's candle, he watched his aunt's face. Neither compassion nor concern showed through her features, only a calm readiness to tend to the matter at hand. "I will think up a story," Taiping said quietly. "Her mother won't be pleased to know this little bird has flown into a strange man's room at night. I will let her think she came to me. Come, Anle," she held out a hand. "It is time to go back to bed." 

"Baoyu!" Anle was looking past her at Mulan again, her eyes brightened with a crazed affection. "Oh Baoyu! I knew you would come. I have made amends with my father and he will consent to our marriage." Running to Mulan she threw her arms around her, burying her face amorously in her neck. "Aren't you happy, Baoyu?" Mulan was frozen stiff, her hands at her sides. 

At Taiping's glance, Shang pried the girl away from Mulan, who leapt back several steps against the closed door. Anle began to cry again, begging for Baoyu not to leave her. Shang threw the woman into Taiping's hold, who cradled her head and tried to murmur soothing words. 

"We'll have to keep her quiet," the older woman said, her tone showing none of her pretended affection. "She can't go wailing like this through the Palace halls. Nephew, knock her unconscious." 

Shang frowned. "I can't..." He wasn't going to strike a woman! 

Quick as ever, Mulan darted to one side of the room, retrieving his sword. Turning it point down, she smartly clubbed the weeping woman over the head. Taiping called for her guards waiting in the parlor, and followed them as they carried the unconscious Princess out of Shang's chambers. "Try to sleep, both of you," Taiping said quietly just before she glided out of sight in the silken cloud of her robes. 

"I'm sorry I had to wake you, Mulan," he said when they were alone. Well they weren't really alone, there were still guards outside the outer door, and one of the inner doors was left open. 

"I wasn't asleep," Mulan brushed off his apology. When he eyed her askance, she sighed. "I had a nightmare about... about Shan-yu." 

She was leaning against the one closed door still, her arms folded under her chest, her silk robe gathered about her in rich flowing folds, her hair tousled and loose. She appeared so small under all those layers of silk, with her large eyes caught in the candle light. He found himself smiling suddenly, just a small curve of his lip, Anle forgotten for a moment. How many days before he could simply close the door and usher her to bed with him, when no one would think anything of it? How many days before she would doff that robe and lie beside him, with more pleasant things than nightmares to keep them from sleeping? 

"You never told me what happened," he reminded her quietly. Why did his words have to bo se calm, so hollow? She always spoke with such passion and vitality, even her eyes now were full of honesty and openness. I am not cold, he wanted to tell her, I know what it is to cry tears, to be afraid, and I have hurt everyday of my life. Even now, he was hurting for Anle. 

She lowered her head, burying her eyes in the floor. "I'd rather not talk about it. I should feel lucky, I'm better off than your cousin. But still... I can hear both of them laughing at me, and I feel the pain as if it were real again." 

His mouth set angrily, he wished he was a better man. He wished he could kill his father for what he had done to Mulan. The pain in her small face stirred such violence in him. But Li Shengli was too alive to die, yet too broken to live. Until tomorrow. 

"Mulan," he stepped closer, brushing the hair back which had fallen in her face when she bowed her head. "_Ai ren._" At that word she lifted her face, smiling. Beloved. His fingertips shook slightly, not afraid but surprised at himself. He was thinking of reaching out for her, pulling off her robe as she had done in his dream, silencing her protests with deep demanding kisses. Deep down, he knew she would give in. Her eyes seemed to be daring him. Already his aunt had sent letters to both of their families, neither could refuse and therefore they were as good as officially betrothed. But he dropped his hand. She deserved something better, more proper, than to be shamed by a tryst in his chamber. That day would come soon, Princess Taiping had promised it. 

"I... I think I'll try and go back to sleep," a measure of disappointment was clear in her voice. He seemed to be good at that. "Goodnight, Your Majesty." Standing on tiptoe, she patted his cheek mockingly. He caught her hand, kissed it fleetingly as she slipped out of the room in a rustle of silk garments. 

~ * ~ 

The sunshine that morning seemed to mock Shang's mood. Birds circled overhead and he watched them rather than the throngs pressing in the Great Square. His vantage point on the platform allowed him a clear view of everything, though he would have liked to hide in those crowds. Taiping sat regal and straight-backed in her great chair at his left, the gold threads on her plum robes sparkling in the sunlight. She said nothing to him, and although she appeared outwardly unperturbed, he could see her keeping an eye on Empress Wei beside her - Regent until Li Dan made his way into the city. Princess Anle was not beside her and was reported to be ill that morning. Shang was thankful the Empress did not glance his way, not even once. She seemed to treat him and the two other generals present as ornaments. 

Mulan was not looking so well herself this morning, and he had not yet had a chance to ask why. Her face was a trifle paler, the set of her body more tense as she stood beside him. She looked like a frightened rabbit, ready to scurry away at any moment. It was alarming, to say the least, Mulan hardly showed signs of fear and the more he looked her way and tried to smile at her the more forced her returning smiles became. He knew it wasn't because of him by the way her eyes looked to him trustingly for some kind of assurance. It gave him a reason to try harder at being strong today. 

"Bring the prisoner!" Empress Wei's voice sliced through the air like a sword. For such a small woman she projected herself well into the crowds. 

A knot of anger tightened in his chest, if anyone deserved to die today it was her. The clinking of metal alerted him to three guards climbing the steps of the platform at his far right, dragging a chained Li Shengli between him, unable to stand on his own. His face was bloody and bruised, no doubt he had taken a fresh beating from the guards this morning. But his eyes were so clear, not half crazed as they had been. Before he was led to kneel in the center of the platform, his father turned to him, and for a moment so brief he must have imagined it, Shang thought he saw a flicker of pain in the other man's eyes. 

"Li Shang!" He cried out hoarsely, "I'll wait for you in Hell!" Shang heard General Zhen gasp behind him. 

The executioner appeared as if from nowhere, a large man concealed by a dark mask, waving his sword in elaborate movements to impress the crowd. They cheered loudly as a green melon was brought before him. He turned in a dance raising the sword aloft, splitting the fruit clear in the middle. The throng went wild with applause as a spray of red water fanned through the air. 

Li Shengli knelt facing the crowd now, his head bowed as the executioner took his place behind him. Shang flinched as the sword was raised, averting his eyes. Mulan's face had grown even more wan, her eyes squeezed shut for a moment, a bead of sweat on her brow. What had his father done to her? He wondered in horror, and then guilt. It had all happened so fast, her return, the battle at the Wall and his wound, so fast he had no time to speak to her of it. Tie-lin had told Tai-shan everything, everything but that. 

He felt Taiping's hand on his arm and turned towards her. She wore the first look of genuine emotion he had seen in her yet. Sadness. "It is no shame to weep, Li Shang," she said softly. "Or to feel pain. He was your father. I stayed for three years at my mother's tomb after she died." He bowed his head to her in thanks. 

Out of the corner of his eye, the sword came down, a fountain of bright red droplets rising against the sky. His father fell, the crowd roared, Shang wanted to scream. This was a life, a wasted life, not a puppet show in the streets. 

His eyes found Empress Wei. Over Taiping's shoulder he could see a small smile of satisfaction on her seemingly delicate face. One more enemy, that smile seemed to say, one step closer to the throne. Taiping wore no such smile, but her eyes flickered to the other woman, a look of contention passed between them, a spark of enmity so deep it felt like an intrusion to witness it. Was it hatred for the woman who had killed her brother, or had competition for the throne made them sworn enemies? _I know my destiny _he heard Taiping say in his mind. He shivered. 

"Get Down!" General Zhen raised a cry behind him, surrendering to instinct Shang threw himself facedown on the platform. A knife whirled through the sky, between him, Taiping and Mulan. In a rush of pure reflex, Shang flung out an arm to protect both of the women, hindering the trajectory of the throw. General Zhen moved foolishly, stepping to the right of Shang's arm. The dagger buried itself in his neck. 

The crowd broke into a panic until the Empress dispatched several of the guards to restore order among them. Shang turned to see the fallen General lying on his side, face and neck smeared in a thick sheen of red. Mulan was on her knees, her face a bloodless white, teetering slightly as she knelt over General Zhen's body. 

"Mulan, are you..." He checked her over for signs of injury, perhaps something had happened that he had not seen. But she appeared unscathed, only staring at the knife standing out from the General's neck. 

"Shan-yu," her words shook horribly, eyes squeezed shut as though caught in the clutches of physical pain. Before he could ask her what she meant her face went whiter. She fell over in a dead faint. 

Neither Taiping, nor the Empress rose, neither showed anything in their faces. They did not even glance at each other. Shang's thoughts raced frantically. Who had thrown the knife, and who was the target? Taiping, or the three generals on the platform? Which of the two women was behind it? 

"Is she with child?" The Princess turned around and asked quite bluntly. "If she is perhaps the sun has made her faint." 

Shang stiffened uncomfortably, and angrily, in the middle of an assassination attempt she had the audacity to wonder if they had been sleeping together? At anything else she did not seem the least bit taken aback. "No," he answered quietly. "It's seeing my father. She was in his prison camp only a few days ago." 

"Unfortunate," she nodded with affected sympathy, but looked rather unconcerned. "But that is why I asked if she was with child." Shang whirled on her. How dare she imply that his father had... that Mulan had been... He could not even say the words in his head. Her eyes bore into his, halfway between a threat and a warning. He dropped his gaze. She was too powerful to cross. "Send her to your home in the morning, nephew," she said with a sigh. "When she is better, she can go about her duties again. But warn her, she will see many deaths and her life will be endangered many times while she holds her rank. It is the way of the court." Her words were filled with bitter resentment. 

"Thank you," he bowed to her once more. Louyang, he knew she would be happy with Tie-lin.   



	17. Part II: Chapter Five

rain5 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Five: 

Mulan wasn't angry when Shang told her that she had been given time off from her duties. In fact, she was thankful and had been hoping for a little time to herself. Her nightmares did not fade the night after the execution - her last night in the Palace before she left - but grew even worse and more detailed. Finally, she had given up on sleep that night altogether, climbing out of bed to read one of the books Shang had recommended. But even that had not soothed her, not when she found herself looking left and right for Shan-yu every other moment. 

Shang had found her that way, curled up on the sofa and shaking with her book thrown down. He seemed to forget his composure completely when he ran to her, trying to make him repeat what she was seeing in her mind. She couldn't though, it was too difficult to speak of still. Instead, he tried to distract her, telling her there was still no suspect as to whom the assassin was yesterday afternoon. Mulan had the sneaking suspicion that it was Taiping, trying to be rid of her, his distraction. It only made sense that she would so willingly send Mulan away when the attempt had failed. She did not voice these musings to Shang, having no idea what sort of feelings or affections he held for this aunt. He made no clear speculations of his own. 

He did bring good news though, their marriage had been hastened and was to take place in two weeks. But instead of spending the time with Tie-lin as he had suggested, Mulan elected to take one last visit to her family before her marriage. During the shortened betrothal, they had been given a home outside of Louyang, in order to speed the correspondence and exchange the necessary gifts between families without the delay of travel. She was sure that seeing her family would restore her to some peace of mind. There would be time in the future to spend with Tie-lin, considering that Shang had said Marshal Yu had given Tai-shan estates in Louyang, and as inseparable as the two men were Tie-lin was bound to be her only company. But after her marriage, her family would be moving back south. 

And so hat was the morning she left Ch'ang-an, in relative peace compared to the next time she would see it. 

~ * ~ 

When the day finally did arrive, Mulan found herself facing the ultimate nervousness. She had not been this nervous when she had ran off to Wu Zhong even, but now her hands were shaking as she bowed solemnly to her parents. When the carriage arrived, heralded by all the cadence of the procession, Mulan could hardly keep still. But her grandmother quickly draped the crimson veil over her face and restrained her with a hand on her arm. 

"Now I know he's handsome, Mulan," her grandmother teased as she always did. "But you've got to practice some composure if you're going to impress his family." Mulan swallowed, there was a sobering thought. She couldn't impress bumbling villagers, let alone the nobility. "Just remember, if you can wield a sword, you can serve the tea today." Mulan was glad the veil hid her blushes. At least she had not spilled a drop when she had served it to her parents a few moments before 

The door creaked open, her grandmother led her into the sunlight where all of her relatives had gathered outside to meet the procession. Through her veil she could see a familiar tall figure standing there and then more behind him. She sighed, gathering her thoughts and letting her hands fall to her sides, hoping the elaborate red dress provided by Taiping herself was not too gaudy. Her grandmother had styled her hair ornately, around her bridal crown, and Taiping had sent a handmaiden as a gift who worked an impressive image with a make-up brush. Still, the old Matchmaker's words followed her _you may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!_

Mulan wanted to hide, she was marrying the Emperor's nephew! 

"Honorable Fa Zhou," her heartbeat quickened when she heard Shang speak. "Madam Fa." It was going to be alright, she reassured herself, he wanted this marriage. He was the one who had seen her at her most bumbling and stupid moments, the one who had seen her dirty, injured and bruised, the one from whom he accepted comfort. He could not possibly be ashamed of her. 

A woman she did not know took her arm and led her to the carriage, through her barely translucent veil Mulan could see the ground had been covered with red mats, as her feet were not allowed to touch the naked earth. Once inside the carriage with Shang beside her, Mulan had the urge to peel back the curtains and peek at what relatives of hers would be joining the entourage, but Shang stayed her hand. 

"You can't look outside," he scolded her, as if she were still a recruit. She smiled. "You aren't supposed to subject yourself to evil influence. Speaking of which, are you feeling better?" 

She nodded slightly. "A little." Her grandmother had been putting herbs in her tea to help her sleep too deeply for nightmares. The wedding preparations had provided a distraction at least, but sometimes when she was alone it was not so easy. 

The journey to the heart of Louyang took three hours, but thankfully the temporary home her parents had been given was on the eastern edge of the city, lengthening the trip by a good two hours. For the most part, they sat in silence in the carriage, but exchanged a few words over the happenings at court. Li Dan had still not yet arrived, though Taiping had evinced no worry, saying he would come when it was time. Mulan suspected that Shang feared he would never arrive, to Taiping's complete knowledge, leaving her an opening to take the throne herself. He did not say this, but explained that Taiping's influence far surpassed that of Empress Wei, since the early days beside her mother, the Princess had exhibited a precocious mind for politics, gaining her both skill and influence. In her lifetime the Princess had stopped two rebellions, the one in Louyang and one outside the capital. People followed Taiping, Shang explained, they devoted themselves to her. The assassin on the platform still seemed to perplex him though. Taiping seemed to know, but was not willing to answer. 

It was Shang who helped her out of the carriage when they arrived at the family's temple. Once again she was required to step on red mats rather than the plain ground. A mirror was flashed over her, a handful of rice scattered before her and she was made to walk over a flame before crossing into the family estate, cleansed of all malignancies. Only then did Shang turn to her in front of all the assembled relatives and lift the red veil from her face. When the audience gasped, Mulan suddenly wanted to snatch the veil back, but she dared do nothing but stand with her hands primly at her sides. He stood and gazed at her for a long moment, smiled, and then appeared slightly embarrassed at the sighs from the women, turning towards the temple. 

Men lined the temple, Taoist priests in red robes, while all their relatives and her chosen female attendants gathered outside, her in-laws hoping to get a good look at her. She searched for Tie-lin, but could not pick her out in the crowd. Mulan stiffened nervously as the end of a red ribbon was tied to one of her hands and then one of his, joining them. They bowed to Heaven and Earth, to the Ancestors and then to each other, nearly completing the simple ceremony. The last thing to do was the thing she had been dreading all along, serve the tea. 

Since his father - and all of his uncles but the absent Li Dan - were no longer living, the only ones to whom tea must be served were Shang's mother and stepmothers, Tie-lin, and his mother's brother. The honored relatives sat while one of the female attendants brought the tray holding the teapot and the exact number of cups. Mulan managed to fill the cups without disaster, but not with as much grace as she would have liked. 

Lotus seeds were place in the tea, and two red dates, the sweetness of the drink hoping for sweet relations between her and her in-laws. She followed Shang's example as he knelt before his mother, keeping to his left. It was the first real look she had of her mother-in-law, a small elegant woman who was an older version of Tie-lin, the mystic Tan Liu. Second to her husband, this woman had the power to make her life miserable. She did not smile at her son as he knelt and held the teacup out to her with both hands, but her eyes betrayed some pride as she returned a red wrapped gift on the tea try and another for the attendant. Tie-lin was smiling openly as she accepted her tea from Mulan, leaving her gift that could only be jewelry. The other two wives were quite different, even Shang showed much resentment as he held the tea out for them. It seemed to hurt his pride to kneel at their feet. They wore much more make-up and jewelry than Shang's mother, and they were glaring at her. Mulan had the sneaking feeling she was not going to get on well with them. 

After leaving the temple, they climbed in the litter again though it was only a short ride through the grounds to his father's house, taking no longer than a few minutes. Mulan looked at Shang, and he back at her. They were husband and wife now, and were both nervous as ever. Of all the things they had been through, it seemed so impossible, he couldn't be the same officer who had struck terror in her with a glance. That seemed like years ago. 

Next came the wedding banquet, which had gathered the guests in the main hall bright with red flowers and garlands and lanterns. It was approaching dusk now, through the patterned windows Mulan could see the green terraces and pavilions, the shimmering pools and walks. The house itself was as fine as the Palace, the patterned foreign rugs, the elaborate paintings and pottery, the jade carvings decorating the halls. It was enough to take her breath away. There were so many people, seated around small tables laden with delicacies and flowers, ornately gilded chopsticks and sugar sculptures, wine in fine goblets. She spotted Tai-shan, who smiled from across the room and made some sort of silly gesture, no doubt very very drunk. Oddly enough Mulan even spotted Ling, Yao and Chien-Po. But anyone could attend a wedding feast. 

Mulan took her place beside Shang, who seemed well aware of what to do and was not put off by the people around him. She was sure he had seen plenty of cousins and military friends married before. The banquet consisted of eight courses, and then a desert, sweet dumplings topped with peanuts. During the meal Tie-lin made an effort to chat and offer congratulations, Shang's mother seemed to watch the two women with interest, as if studying Mulan and puzzling her out before she spoke. She was a quiet woman, Mulan could see that, but she seemed to be liked among the guests. 

Finally she did speak, and even smiled. "Fa Mulan, after all I have heard about you I must say you surprise me." Mulan did not quite know what to make of that, but she smiled. "I have not seen my son in two years, but I am pleased he has acquired such a lovely bride. I am glad to gain a daughter-in-law now that I will have to give a daughter away." 

"Thank you, Popo," she awkwardly mouthed the word for "mother-in-law" for the first time. 

By the time the banquet ended, Mulan could see from the windows that the hour was very late. The sky had fallen into complete darkness, making the glow of the lanterns in the bushes seem all the more vivid. She wished for a walk in those gardens which appeared so lovely with their winding paths, but not tonight. Soon would come the second thing today which had her tense with nervousness. 

She joined Shang in politely bowing and thanking guests before a good two dozen men and women their age - including Tai-shan, Tie-lin and her three friends - jumped up and surrounded them like an ambush, dragging them up the many flights of stairs to their bedchamber. Just as in the Palace, Mulan quickly became lost with all the stairs and turns, but soon found herself shoved through a door and then another, and then pushed onto the bed beside Shang. 

In all the commotion, she had time to notice two things about her new room: One, it was enormous, and two the great red bed upon which she sat was strewn the seeds of lotus, oranges, dates and pomegranate, as well peanuts and ginger leaves. All of these were omens of fertility, which in the present situation, Mulan found very embarrassing. 

It was Tai-shan, the accursed Tai-shan, who began the ritual teasing by gesturing at Mulan. "I never thought she'd clean up so pretty, Shang. I bet you can't want for us to leave." He turned to the others. "Who wants to make a wager? I'll bet he'll tear off her clothes faster than I can disarm him!" The crowd broke into wild laughter, and there began the most heartfelt attempt to provide a ceremoniously mortifying experience for her wedding day. 

They laughed even harder at Shang's glare, promising his friend due revenge when the time came, and then remembering that would not be possible, since the bride would be his own sister. Mulan didn't think anything could embarrass Tai-shan anyway, some of the things that came out of the man's mouth made her ears burn. 

An eager eyed girl tossed her head and laughed. "Look at my new cousin-in-law!" she declared cheerfully. "I may be afraid to fight Huns, little one, but I'm not afraid of the joys of fish in water!" 

"Just kiss her, Cousin," another girl said, her smile slightly wanton. "Kiss her until her cheeks are red with passion!" A roar of cheers rose up for that idea. "Or should I fetch her armor to make it more exciting. It would be like making love to a man and woman at the same time!" The brazen statement seemed to shock everyone in the room, even the men, but shock was soon replaced with more laughter. 

The first girl's eyes lit up. "And, Cousin-in-law, you can even borrow my boots!" Lifting a bit of impressively tapestried blue skirt, Shang's cousin twirled her foot proudly. Sure enough, she was wearing men's boots. He had not lied about his girl cousins, she certainly did seem to think this pretty fashionable. 

Mulan looked around at her tormentors - sure her face was as red as her dress - for just one person to take pity on her. Shang was silent, enduring it all with a shocked patience. Her eyes settled on Tie-lin, who was holding Tai-shan's arm and smiling behind her fan. 

"Just remember the Tao," she reminded with a smirk. "The hard and stiff belong beneath, while the supple and yielding belong on top." 

The flame in her cheeks spread to her ears. Mulan's jaw dropped. Betrayed by Tie-lin. 

When Yao stepped forward and clapped Shang on the shoulder, Mulan had the feeling it was going to get worse. "I'm going to bribe your servants, pretty boy, and if they don't hear her screaming your name then tomorrow we're going to come and beat you up." That was it! Mulan dove forward and buried her head in Shang's shoulder. She could no longer bear to look at any of them, nor to hear anymore of what was said. Her reaction rewarded her with the richest laughter she had ever heard. Strangely, it made her feel welcome. 

"Oh don't worry, Mulan," Tai-shan was mocking her. "I'm sure Shang will be very very gentle. You'll have to worry about hurting him." He and two male cousins began laughing quietly to themselves. 

"Alright," Shang declared after a few more moments of remarks she couldn't even bear to ponder. "Get out!" He wasn't angry, in fact she had caught him grinning as he tried to avert his eyes. They obeyed him with more laughter and bawdy jokes as they made their way out the door. 

The cousin who had displayed her boots leaned quickly over Mulan's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "Don't be so shy, Cousin-in-law, the bedroom is where a woman has real power." With that, she was the last to scurry out of the room. 

It took a few moments after the others had withdrawn for Mulan to inch her head away from Shang's shoulder, but still there was no way she could meet his eyes, her cheeks were on fire. His hand stroked her hair soothingly, fondly, as if her reaction to their taunts had amused him. Amused _him_! The man who had uttered the brilliant "you fight good." 

She finally did look up at him, slowly at first. He appeared happy, as happy as she had ever seen him and that sent her melting inside. His eyes were soft, sparkling with the laughter with which he had regarded her embarrassment. A smile even graced his features, and not just the hint of one as he had too often shown, a real smile. She smiled back, they were husband and wife now, bound by a vow, a sacred vow before Heaven and Earth and all their Ancestors. No one could break it, or take that away. 

"You're blushing," he pointed out quietly, brushing his fingers against her russet cheek. 

"So are you," she reminded him, not nearly as badly as she was though, but enough to tease him about. It was hard not to blush after the things their friends had said. 

Mulan took a good look at her new chamber, lit with red candles and decorated with more red flowers. It was beautiful really. He kicked off his shoes and she did the same, removing the phoenix crown from her head. She wanted to take off the heavy red gown, but couldn't just yet. They were supposed to... She glanced at the big bed, her blushes starting all over again. 

"You look so nervous," he was still smiling. "Like you did when you were fumbling for a name." Touching her cheek again, he added, "Only a lot prettier." 

"It's been a long day," was all she said. 

Moving closer, he sighed. "I know." They sat in silence for a moment, a nervous silence, neither wanting to seem too eager. 

His arm encircled itself around her waist, lifting her face with his other hand, his eyes saying he would be hurt if she was afraid. Not knowing what else to do, she wrapped her arms around his neck, the first time she had ever been that close to him. His hand crept up her back, and she rested her cheek against his neck as he pulled her down on the pillows. 

Suddenly she grew more nervous than ever, her entire body stiffening. She recalled the few things her grandmother had said on this subject, how one could get with child from this, how it could be painful if the man wasn't careful. Her heartbeat climbed, frightened of both of those things. 

"Scared?" His fingertips were curled around her chin now, the soft part of his thumb stroking her lower lip. Pressed so closed to him there was no way to hide the tension she felt. "Don't be scared. It's just me." 

Whimpering something, she lay there under him, still and trusting. There was something about the weight of him on top of her, different from all the times they had sparred and rolled around at camp. Laying her head back, she took his head in both hands. "Shang, I want you to kiss me." 

Raising an eyebrow, he grinned. "Where?" He began to pull the red silk from her shoulders. Mulan smiled broadly, she wasn't nervous anymore. 

~ * ~ 

She awoke to her new husband shaking her. "Mulan?" 

She stretched under the tangled covers, groaning. The soreness in her back and legs was quite unlike any ache she had received from a martial arts exercise. She supposed it was made worse by the fact that she was so small. 

"Mulan, you're supposed to go to the altar at dawn. The sun has been up for a quarter hour. They're waiting for you, Third Mother will have it in for both of us if she could have slept in longer." 

Throwing the covers off in a panic, Mulan looked around the room frantically for something to wear. It wasn't fair, she mumbled to herself, she had only been asleep for two hours at most. Her make-up was a smeared mess, her hair was ruined beyond repair, and she had nothing but her wedding dress as an outer garment. 

"What am I supposed to do?" She demanded in a shriek. "Your mother is going to think I am a failure as a daughter-in-law!" 

He leaned on his elbow, the red silk sheet wrapped around his bare chest. "Tell her you were up late trying to give her grandchildren, no one can argue with that." After her glare to show that she wasn't amused, he turned serious. "Call for the servants, they can work quickly." 

He was not wrong at least, the servants helped her to the quickest and most thorough bath she had ever had, wiping off the horrid make-up and wrapping her still wet hair in a simple bun with a single flower comb. They dusted a light layer of powder over her face and a small bit of red rouge to her lips, stuffing her into a blue silk gown with a bit of embroidery. Within a few minutes, she was holding up her skirts and following her new servants down the hall, managing to make a somewhat dignified entrance to where the three women waited. 

Between Third Wife and Second Wife it was hard to tell who was more irate. Both were slightly plump women, with Third Wife being the taller and prettier between them. Shang's mother showed no anger whatsoever but stood in her patient fashion as Mulan approached. 

"I'm sorry, Popo," she apologized to her mother-in-law quickly, but felt no need to do the same to the others beyond including them in the humble bow of her head. She couldn't exactly give the excuse Shang had suggested, she couldn't think of any suitable excuse to give. 

Her Popo gave a nod to accept the apology, with something that Mulan thought must be amusement. "I expected as much," she said smoothly. "My son warns me that punctuality is not one of your strong suits." 

Mulan blushed, it was true, she had never been on time for anything important, not the Matchmaker and not her first official day at camp. "I'll try not to give you as many fits as I gave your son," she promised with a smile. She was going to have cross words with Shang for not waking her up earlier. 

"You see?" Shang's mother turned to Third Wife, Xi Bao. "She is a fine daughter-in-law. Better she come late with genuine words than arrive on time with an overdone show of manners." Mulan did not quite understand this, it contradicted everything she expected of a mother-in-law. 

Second Wife sniffed. "Her cheeks are flushed. That son of yours had better not have kept her." Mulan was relieved for a minute that the blame was shifted from her to Shang, but then the woman turned her glare on her. "You may be his pet General elsewhere, but you are still a daughter-in-law now. Tell him to wait." 

"Enough," Her Popo said calmly. "She is here now, leave her be." 

The other two women huffed a bit more, but soon they fell silent for Mulan to kneel and pay her respects to them and the Ancestors. After Shang's mother proclaimed her the Young Mistress of the house, each of the women gave her a small gift. Third Wife gave her a beautiful jade necklace, Second Wife a pair of earrings, while Shang's mother gave her the best gift, a long-haired cat with pale silver fur. 

Sitting the animal in her lap, Mulan smiled. "I had a dog at home, Little Brother, I was beginning to miss having a pet." The cat was fine-boned and tall, with very long silky fur, it's slanted eyes a curious blue peeking out from a sharp wedge of a face. Mulan laughed as the cat began to purr, turning to pose with it's wide brush of a tail. 

"They come from Byzantium," Shang's mother explained. "They like to leap and run about, very entertaining animals. I have two of my own. When my son first wrote to me of you, this is what I imagined, you hopping about and defying everyone. A cat is very _yin_." 

Only when Third Wife spoke did Mulan stop smiling. "Your parents were so desperate for a son that you had to name the dog Little Brother?" She broke into smug laughter. 

"Look who's laughing!" Second Wife folded her arms. "You have such bad luck that Heaven took your son away from you." 

Third Wife whirled on her. "Well let's see if she does any better!" She pointed at Mulan. "Look at her! She's so skinny she looks like she's been starved for months, and no wonder, she comes from such a simple background." 

Mulan raised her head angrily, but everyone fell silent when Shang appeared in the doorway. 

She wondered how he could have dressed and cleaned himself up so fast. He stood there in full armor and cloak, sword strapped to his side, with a gold scroll in one gauntleted hand. Only the beads of water in his hair betrayed the hurry he must have been in. For all his dour look they may as well have shared no wedding night at all; he had no smile even for her. In a streak of silver, her new pet leapt onto his shoulder, sat upright and coiled her bushy tail around Shang's neck, as if trying to glimpse the contents of the message he held. Ignoring the cat, he strode forward, oblivious to Second and Third Wife's glares. 

"Li Shang," Second Wife began in a sound scolding. "You had best tell that precious bride of yours to keep that creature in her room. You know I hate them, always sniffing about trying to see what I'm up to." 

"Li Shang," Third Wife was not to be left out. "Punish that bride of yours, I had to rise an hour earlier for nothing." Shang's own mother was silent, neither joining in to complain, nor defending Mulan or her son. 

Shang seemed to treat them the way that he treated Chi fu, and with no love lost. He simply gave them a nod to acknowledge that they had spoken but otherwise ignored him. They seemed to find his silence infuriating. 

"A message from Ch'ang-an," he announced somberly, and kneeling at her shoulder, he unfurled the scroll so she and the cat could read it. The letter was written in the form of a poem, too cryptic to make any sense at all, but she supposed that was the idea. "It's from Princess Taiping," he explained too quietly for the other women to hear. "Empress Wei has her under house arrest because she refuses to take the blame for my uncle's death. She can't execute Princess Taiping, a civil war would break out. But if she makes her lose face, she may gain enough power to win the court and seize the throne, they way Empress Wu did. We have to rescue Taiping, we're going to need an army, just like in Louyang five years ago. The Palace guard is loyal to Empress Wei." 

Mulan's eyes grew wide. The day after her wedding and already the squabbles of the court had come to haunt her? Was there no such thing as peace? "Whose army?" she whispered back. 

"My cousin's," he sighed. "Li Longji, very famous military man, camped outside Ch'ang-an. And later the newly appointed General Meng. Those are her orders." Orders? Since when had they become her personal generals? 

Second Wife huffed loudly, stalking over to pull the scroll from Shang's hands. "What is this about?" She demanded hotly. "We don't have time to watch you two whisper to each other all day." 

Rolling the scroll up quickly, he held it away from her, smiling with a false sweetness. "Second Mother," he feigned an exaggerated concern. "Do you know that if you were to see this, you could be executed?" 

"Who's going to tell?" She laughed coldly. 

He lifted his eyes slightly in the direction of Third Wife and shrugged. Second Wife's face tightened in anger. Having had enough, Shang rose. "Come on, Mulan, get your things, we have to leave for the capital immediately." 

When Mulan came to the main hall again dressed in her armor, only Shang's mother was waiting there. She wore a look of concern, but otherwise spoke calmly. "You are in a dangerous position, daughter-in-law, Remember to always be like water. Sometimes you must overcome with yielding, other times attack with force. Skill is in the timing." She said this with a small bit of rebuke, for this morning Mulan supposed. 

"I'll remember," Mulan inclined her head, then ran off to find Shang with the horses.   



	18. Part II: Chapter Six

rain6 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Six: 

The ride to Ch'ang-an was almost too quiet compared to the dancers and musicians which had heralded them through the streets of Louyang only yesterday. It did not seem like yesterday at all, that day had passed like a dream, a nervous dream. Riding beside him today was more of what she was accustomed to, although they had never been alone like this before, without any soldiers at all for an escort. With both of them in their armor again and a duty before them, things did not feel very changed, except when she closed her eyes and allowed herself to remember the previous night. 

All his talk about protecting her honor, and given the chance he had lost all sense of such reservation. It was amazing really, how easily he had changed his behavior with their new status, not that she had any complaints, but it reflected on the way the world worked for him. Was it really about protecting her? Or possessiveness over something he had long since thought of as his? It didn't matter anymore, she told herself, they were husband and wife, even if they were two generals on a potentially treasonous mission. 

Stopping in a grove of cypress, Shang dismounted, securing the bridle of his horse as she followed after him. He sat down against a tree with a water bag and offered her a drink. "I guess we could have ridden through the villages," he said quietly. "But you never know who would recognize us after yesterday." 

"Shang," Mulan curled her feet under her. "What does she really want an army for? To get rid of Empress Wei and take the throne herself? Is that right?" 

"I don't know," he sighed, showing an all too familiar weariness. 

She seized his arm. "Then why do you serve her? How do you know... " looking around, she dropped her voice. "How do you know she wasn't the one who killed the Emperor?" 

"To refuse her is to sign my own death warrant," he explained too calmly for her peace of mind. "Not because she is ruthless enough to kill me herself, she isn't. People love my aunt, and they serve her interests. My cousin Li Longji, Li Dan's son, has all the influence with the army in the capital. If I were another courtier that wouldn't matter, but I'm not. Do you understand?" Mulan nodded, seeing what he had left out. He served Taiping because he loved her too, even if he could not admit it to himself. "As for the other thing, well that's simple. How do you know I didn't kill the Emperor?" 

Taken aback, she stared at him wide-eyed. "I know you... you wouldn't... You weren't even in Ch'ang-an," she managed finally. 

"I could have hired someone. I could have hired the assassin at my father's execution to kill Princess Taiping. How do you know?" 

"I... I... I believe in you," was all she could think of to say. 

He nodded, pleased with himself. "Exactly." But it was not as confident as he might have liked. It was one thing to love, and another to trust. Then he took the water from her, and set it aside. "I grow tired of all this scheming, it's surrounded me since I was young. Sometimes I would like to forget that I am a General, and just be a man with my wife." He smiled at her sadly. "Someday." 

Mulan frowned, it was so wistful, as if peace could never be a part of his life. Thinking to soothe him, she inched closer, until he held her on his lap. He rested his head back against the tree as she leaned forward to kiss him. 

~ * ~ 

The world swelled with darkness, a tiny room allowing no light. The dark figure against the wall moved closer, not a man, but a shadow with a life of its own, a hungry ghost who had lost his humanity long ago, and only the shell remained. Mulan felt her chest tighten with fear, her bonds abrasive against the tender skin of her wrists, burning into them as she strained to recoil. She heard him speak, but could not decipher the words, hateful words, threatening, words her mind refused to echo back to her. A hand came around her neck, sharp claws puncturing her flesh. The hand moved, clenching from her chin to the base of her throat, tearing open the skin. Hot blood leaking out onto her neck, down her chest. A scream of pain was torn from her suddenly. 

"Mulan! Mulan!" 

She was shaking when her eyes fell open, her face was wet. Someone was holding her and she leaned against them, wrapped in a light bundle of blankets. Tears. Her eyes were stinging, the taste of salt burned her lip. The night sky was still dark. 

"Where-" Then she remembered. She was with Shang, and they had fallen asleep several hours ago, after snuggling under that cypress tree. Despite the pleasant memory, she was still crying from her nightmare. "Something bad is going to happen," she was surprised to hear the words coming from her, she had not been thinking them at all. "I know it. Maybe I'm becoming like Tie-lin, maybe I can see the future." 

Pressing her head against his side, he rubbed her back. "Shan-yu?" She nodded. "You've had a frightening experience, it's just natural for you to take time to recover. They're only dreams. Shan-yu and my father are both dead." Closing her eyes, she tried to repeat that to herself, but did not think he understood. It wasn't Shan-yu exactly, it was the feeling of danger that pervaded her nightmares, not a memory of the past, but something to come. 

With that thought, his hand slowed on her back, pulling away as she felt him grow very tense against her. A rustle in the trees brought her head up, rising out of her blanket to her knees as a darting shadow caught her eye. "See what I mean?" She hissed at Shang under her breath. 

A knife flashed in his hand from under his pillow. "I'll hold him and you punch." Mulan did not have time to respond, he had leapt out of his covers just as the intruder stepped into the clearing. They tussled around, Shang with the knife and the intruder with a sword, until Shang had him disarmed and under him on the ground, the knife against his throat. 

Jumping up, Mulan kicked the plumed helmet away to get a look at their attacker's face. "Tell us who you are," she demanded angrily. "And why you're sneaking around trying to kill us." Picking up the sword, she held it poised, backing up a few steps. "Let him up, Shang, let him talk." 

Pulling the other man to his knees, Shang rose, keeping a dangerous watch behind his shoulder. The man sighed, knowing he was trapped. "Give me my sword," his voice turned pleading as he looked up at Mulan. "I can't fail my mistress. Let me die with honor." 

"Your _mistress_?" Shang echoed poisonously. Folding his arms, he paced around him, speaking with that same sarcastic sweetness he often used with Yao or Chi fu. "How about, you tell us who this mistress is, or I'll cut you up into enough pieces to send one to each of the woman I think might be able to identify you." Mulan shivered. 

Their would-be assassin bowed deeply before Mulan. "Please, I've only been following your tracks for an hour. I don't know anything, only that my mistress has her loyalties." 

A wave of realization crept over Shang's face, a seething revaluation. He froze and shook his head suddenly as if to say this could not be. "Give him the sword, Mulan." He spoke so faintly she could hardly hear him. 

She did as he asked, but started to protest as the man walked off in the distance. Then she closed her eyes as she heard a cry, and saw his shadow collapse into the stream with a heavy splash. 

"You could have let me convince him not to," she said as she gazed in the direction he had fallen. 

Shang shook his head again, but laid a hand on her shoulder. "Better to die with honor than to live your whole life ashamed." He sighed. "Come on, looks like we won't be getting much sleep tonight, we can't stay here. We'll have to ride for another hour before we can rest again." 

"Shang?" Mulan followed after him in folding up her bedding. "If he followed our tracks, he had to have followed us from Louyang. Don't you think Second Wife was a bit too interested in Taiping's scroll this morning? Isn't it funny that Tie-lin was able to be kidnapped so easily? And Third Wife losing her child?" 

Whirling around, his eyes were afire with the bitterest rage. She was ready to apologize for treading on such a personal subject. The politics of his house were really none of her concern, she was only a daughter-in-law, he valued the honor of his family and placed it higher than the sky. But the anger in his eyes drained into sadness, a deep sadness. Lifting his hand, he traced a light finger across her cheek, as if to convey some profound apology. He looked so ashamed. 

It was possible that there was a link between the Empress and Li Shengli, Second Wife being the lackey of either or both. Perhaps the Empress had used the General and he her, using the war to serve both their ends, distracting the people and gaining him the means for his coup. Without their intervention, Mulan was not sure who had outsmarted whom in the end. Maybe her capture was for the better after all, to learn his plans which entangled the court far deeper than she had imagined. Sadly, she was developing a mind for the way the Court worked. 

Without another word, he climbed on the back of his horse, waiting patiently for her to follow so they could continue their journey in the night. 

~ * ~ 

"We need a plan," Mulan decided once they were inside the city the next morning. "We can't just show up the with army. What if Empress Wei has Taiping killed in the meantime?" 

Shang nodded grimly. "You're right. One of us has to protect my aunt. or least tell her the army is on it's way. Do you think you can go into the Palace and deliver a message? Maybe as a servant, a handmaiden, as a woman you'll have an easier time. I have to go to Longji immediately. I will return tonight, meet me at the Palace gate, we'll think of a plan then." His grip on her hand was suddenly firm, his eyes stern and commanding, his voice low. "Be very, very careful, my wife." He did not stumble over the word, he was far too serious now for awkwardness. "Don't let them know who you are. When I come back tonight, be ready to tell me everything you can. Empress Wei has to die." Crushing her in a sudden embrace, he held her against his shoulder for a long moment before mounting his horse and riding off. 

_Empress Wei has to die_, the wind echoed back to her as she stood there, fighting her qualms. This was not only a mission to free Taiping, this was a mission of murder, one for which he had ridden forth without a shard of regret. 

Before long, Mulan was dressed in the woman's clothes she had packed amongst her things, a simple green dress with only a little embroidery, not even silk. She dabbed on a bit of make-up, fished out some money and bought a small bit of tea from a shoppe near the Palace, to look like she had some business there. Finding Taiping was not hard, she was confined to the same chamber where Mulan had first met her. Getting past the guards was even easier, a bit of gold for each of them and the excuse of bringing tea to her mistress. Being wealthy was handy, guards seemed to take bribes rather well. Shang was right, once they saw the gold it never crossed their minds to wonder who she might be, they underestimated women that much. 

"Your Highness," Mulan bowed before the Princess, who was stretched out calmly on her sofa, as if she were there by her own choosing. There were other woman present, busy at embroidery or applying their make-up. Far from a prison, it looked more like a house of leisure. "I've brought you tea. Magnolia." With that word she looked intently at the older woman. "They say it can help one to soar." 

Giving a slow nod of understanding, the Princess waved her hand at the other women attendants. "Leave us." Obediently, they took up whatever they were doing and made an exit to a back room. 

Once they were alone, Mulan edged closer, keeping her voice low. "Shang sent me, he's gone to your nephew. He'll be back tonight, and we'll find a way to see you out of here. He says the Empress has to be brought to justice. We just have to wait until tonight." 

"Such a faithful wife," Mulan nearly jumped when Taiping cupped her chin in one white hand. Her voice was a pained whisper, not at all like the imperious woman she had seemed. "Such a loyal man, my nephew. Do you know what the Taoists say? Out of chaos and disorder comes justice and patriotism, because all things were born from chaos. To think, my nephew marries a peasant girl and we have integrity in the Palace again. Most auspicious." But she said this without mockery, and even with slight affection. "There's a sparkle in your eye when I speak of him. You must be with child." Mulan blinked. Already? They had only been married for two days, even if they had done a little more than snuggle beneath that cypress tree. She blushed, the other woman seemed to know her thoughts. Brushing that matter aside, Taiping turned somber again, but every word was still spoken in a whisper. "You are part of the family now, therefore I must trust you and hope it is not too big a risk. I have lied to Li Shang. I don't know if my brother will come to take the throne. If he doesn't, the factions will grow worse, those who want me on the throne, those who want another. Empress Wei wants to be rid of me before that happens, eliminating Li Dan would be easy, her trouble is Li Longji. He loves me, he will protect anyone I appoint. Empress Wei will do anything to be rid of him. This is her weakness, use it well." 

Nodding, Mulan remained on her knees. "We were attacked on our journey here. Shang does not want to talk about who is behind it." 

"Of course not," Taiping gave a bitter laugh, propping herself on one elbow. "He is filled with rage and pain, that she should live while his father dies. She was allowed to shame his family and it tears him up. He's angry at me for it, I know, but men never understand that victory comes in the timing. One cannot be too proud to bear a little disgrace." She sighed, Mulan wondered why all of a sudden this woman was so open, she seemed to want to talk. "Rest assured Li Shengli had help from Empress Wei seizing the Palace as briefly as he did. They were lovers, but she planned to kill him as soon as she garnered enough power for herself." So it was true, and Second Wife had entangled herself in the middle of it. "There are three women who must be eliminated. Empress Wei, Shangguan Wan'er and my splendid actress of a niece, Anle." 

"Anle?" She almost jumped back again. 

Taiping nodded, once again showing no emotion for the girl. "It's easy to control a man with guilt, Fa Mulan. Li Shang is a perfect target, the only member of her family who wasn't around to have preconceived notions of the crime. Maybe she's a bit... remorseful now, but she murdered my brother with a clear head, she's not a stupid girl. She hated her father, and wanted her mother to have the throne, so she could have it someday. There's no guard in the Palace called Baoyu. Remember the assassin on the platform? He was caught, and carrying her seal. Her little act for Li Shang failed, and so she thought killing him would erase that little blunder. Quite the dutiful daughter, Anle, much more than I ever was. I was always at odds with my mother." A touch of anguish had entered her voice again. 

She was aghast. There was a whole world, a sordid world, here in the Palace that Mulan had never dreamed of, a twisted mess of distrust and murder. There was something strange about Anle come to think of it, Mulan had thought her suspicions to be nothing more than jealousy at the thought of another woman in Shang's bedchamber. But he had hardly seemed flattered, let alone enticed. Sympathy was another story though. 

"Weren't you afraid of your mother?" Mulan did not know what else to say. 

A light of determination appeared in her eyes. "No, my mother loved me," conviction swelled in her voice. She gave a kind of sneer. "But they won't write that in the histories. All they will talk about is the murders, as if every hero weren't first a murderer. What do men know about our lives? I am almost afraid of what they will say of me when I am gone, there is no one still alive who knows the truth." 

"Your Highness?" Mulan was well aware of the tired cast to Taiping's features, it was too much like gazing at Shang in his most solemn moments. Far from distrust, Mulan found herself harboring a great empathy for Taiping. "Would you really like some tea?" 

At the Princess's nod, Mulan rose to fetch the pot and tray on the table, still warm. Kneeling again at Taiping's feet she poured a cup, the sweet aroma of jasmine filling the air, handing it to her with both hands just as she had in the temple yesterday. The Princess sat up, drinking quietly and sighing. 

"When Empress Wei is dead, I will shed tears for her." At Mulan's confounded stare, Taiping calmly sipped her tea again, closing her eyes as she drew in her breath to speak. She seemed so tired. "She's the only one who remembers who I was. She was my friend once." 

With another sigh, she began to tell a story. 

"After my first brother died, my life was shattered. One morning he was teasing me and that night he was dead. It is so hard losing someone you love, no matter how much you cry you cannot bring them back. I was thirteen then and there came a great change in me. Many hopes rested on my shoulders, and being a wild girl I wanted to refute them all. 

I remember the first morning I awoke to find that I was bleeding as women do, I became obsessed with my newfound womanhood. I wanted a lover, I wanted to be alluring like the courtesans at feasts, and the dancers from Persia. One day I put on a man's robe and danced for the court, my parents were so furious. My mother told me I must be careful, I must guard my chastity like nothing else, or I would be shamed. My mother, once a low class concubine. I suspected that she said this because my father wanted me to secure an alliance with the Tujue, and I wasn't going to be used as a bargaining chip. This made me more determined to meet a man, to lose myself to him and prove to my mother that although she ruled the empire, I was my own woman, not her peace omen. 

This lust in me brought me such bad karma, every man I ever fell for was a demon, for me love always ended in tragedy. The first was of the Xue family, a young official I had met in the court when I was seventeen. He was so handsome and soft spoken, he loved poetry. He had so many talents, so many gifts that I never thought such a man could be cruel. But he charmed me. I disgraced myself and spent the night with him after he made a promise to always love me. A young man's promise is like gold dust, so good for nothing. I demanded he be my husband, but he was already married. Mother had to have his wife executed in secret so he could marry me, before rumors spread. 

He made a slave of me, this man, he knew I loved him helplessly and wanted nothing but the same from him. He controlled me with his grief, a pretended grief, for this wife of his. Later I found that he was the sort to frequent brothels, even when his wife was alive. Not only that, but he had used me. 

But I did not know this until after. It was my mother who confronted him, the same mother who had meddled in my affairs and brought me the miserable marriage. He ran away from her, struck his head on the wall and fell dead. I happened to come in the room then, angry that my mother had overstepped herself once more. When I saw his body lying on the ground, something shattered inside me. I blamed everyone but him, I reasoned out that my mother was jealous I had married a handsome man, and ordered him to commit suicide. But she was not angry with me, she calmly brought me proof of his lies. It took me months to believe her, to accept that I had been so foolish. I asked why she consented to the match in the first place if she knew, but she never answered me. Even today I do not know why. 

Many years went by, my brother was executed, my father died, my other brothers took the throne and then left one after the other. My mother seized the throne, I couldn't keep out of the court games and I became good at them. The Wu family became the enemy of the Li, and even though I loved my mother in my own way, I vowed to uphold the honor of my Ancestors. That is how I gained influence in the first place, I was a liaison between the Wu and the Li, all the officials had to put their requests through me to my mother. Many, many people died in those years, but in my whole life I have only killed two men, both were criminals. 

So when they say that I wanted to be like mother, you will know the truth and you must not forget it. When they say I wanted the throne, you will know differently. What I wanted was to run away, a peaceful life. I wanted _Tai Ping._

But there was another man that courted me, my mother's nephew. I believe he loved me for a time, and we were even happy. I thought my troubles were over. But he grew arrogant, thinking to stage a coup, not only that but he grew bored with me, leaving me alone at night in my cold bed. I found him with another woman, and my mother ordered him to kill himself then and there. I became hard after he died, I felt no pain for him, I was hurting too much already. My mother told me not to seek happiness in men, I would find only misery she said. I wish I would have taken her words to heart then. 

As the years passed, my mother started to grow old, she was too tired to rule the country, and spent her time indulging with two brothers by the surname of Chang. My mother was almost eighty years old, but one of these men was comparatively young for her, only a few years older than I was. I was growing older too, gray in my hair, my skin not so smooth, but I was pretty once, the entire court will attest to it. I knew I was pretty, I used my looks as a man used a sword. In this time, I lost two nephews and a niece, Empress Wei's children, and somewhere in the months of grieving we lost our friendship too. I don't know what happened, she became obsessed with acquiring influence and her own cabal, and taught her daughter to hate me. She wanted the throne, Empress Wei, and everyday I wondered why, after so many people had died for it. I wasn't stupid, I knew the court wouldn't be happy until it was ruled by a man, so I tried to plead with my mother and Empress Wei to give up this dream of glory for themselves, to stop this reign of terror against my father's family. 

By this time, my two nephews had grown up and were on their way to promising military careers. Li Longji is six years older than Shang, since my mother died he has commanded the troops outside Ch'ang-an, and is a hero to the people after victory with the border tribes. Of all the people in this world, he's the one who loves me most, he is like my own son. Shang I love just as well, but he did not grow up in the Palace as Longji did, and Shang, I know he is wary of me, I think he sees in me a part of himself he cannot live with. But he is the only one, Li Shang, the only one I can trust who has no ambition of his own, even Longji doesn't know of the treachery and is only after the glory. I have shielded them both, because I wanted better for them than I had, when countless relatives have perished and fallen before my eyes. But I know I cannot hide it all from them. 

Now one of these Chang brothers was like a dangerous ghost freed from hell. He seemed to possess everyone, my mother, her ladies, even me. He liked that, you know, he liked that power over women. He was a monster, but all the ladies of the court were feverish for his soft words. He was worse than my first husband, because this man never had to promise me anything, he only had to look at me and I was his. He stepped into my circle and found out everything, I told him all my plans, my thoughts. It is so much more shaming than giving your body to a man for his love, that you can forget and dismiss in time. But this scars you, this stripping away of your every secret as if he had raped you with his looks, and how good it felt to yearn for something that dangerous, that painful. It made me feel alive. 

You cannot imagine how broken hearted I was when my mother took him away from me to Louyang, I was so angry at her. My mother had another nephew who was a bit sweet on me, he had gained the confidence of this demon and told me he had plans to remove my mother from power. I started to see that once again I was made a fool of. Soon after, a letter came from Louyang, in my mother's hand. The city was under martial law and the army had been captured, only the men at the gates remained free, so those passing in and out would not suspect. The letter also said my mother was giving up the throne to my third brother. We were all so happy. 

We went to Louyang, rounded up a few of the gate guards and snuck into the Palace. The Chang brothers were killed, by me. I took the sword and faced the man I had only a few days before regarded with such loyalty, such reverence, the man whose smiles had bought my mind and heart. I gazed into his eyes and it was like a veil had been lifted. I saw who he was and I killed him there in cold blood. 

My mother stood and watched me, and she cried. She said 'Taiping, now you will never be the same' and I wasn't. I remember running to her and she held me in her arms, and my brother, just like any other mother with her children. 

I think she knew that she was dying then, she was so full of regret. She was just a woman, Fa Mulan, a woman who knew in her heart that she could rule the country better than any of the men around her. It was their opposition and their pride which brought out her ruthlessness. It was the only way. 

It took me three years to understand this, three years at her tomb. I tell you this now because when I am gone, I will have no daughter to remember who I was. You must remember for me, because the men will not understand, they will only judge me harshly." 

Mulan sat still and quiet for several moments after Taiping had finished. She set her teacup down at last, cold and untouched despite the initial sips she had taken. Her features bore a haunted look, empty, tired. Mulan's heart broke for her, she had been wrong about Taiping, so wrong. 

"Your Highness?" Mulan asked with a gentle hesitation and respect. "What do you want?" What was it, that one driving thing that lay at the heart of all her manipulations? That thing which commanded such sacrifice? The thing Shang could not seem to puzzle out? 

The Princess grew silent again, her eyes squeezed shut, drawing in a long pained breath. Mulan was ready to apologize for having overstepped herself. 

"My first brother back." 

Her words were so soft, and when Mulan blinked she saw that tears had escaped the other woman's eyes, falling slowly, but they did not harm her dignity at all. In another moment, Mulan felt tears on her own cheeks. She could not help but cry too.   



	19. Part II: Chapter Seven

rain8 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Seven: 

Having stopped for an hour to water the horses, Shang removed his helmet and stood beside his cousin. Their eyes were fixed on the same thing, the Imperial Palace rising against an amethyst canopy of night darkened sky. The moon's angle declared the hour late, it had been hours since the daylight had fled. It had been a long ride through the city. Shang was sure, as the two men watched the horizon, that they were not feeling the same thing. It had made the journey difficult, straining communications between them. They had no common ground, no real love between them as cousins and comrades should. But Taiping had thrown them together in this clumsy alliance, as if hoping for better. In truth it broke Shang's heart just a little, that this powerful cousin would plant a knife in his back if it suited him, and all for her. Dangerous affection and innate suspicious did not a good alliance make. Gods, he wished for Tai-shan. 

"We outnumber the Palace Guard, Cousin," Li Longji insisted for the fourth time. Shang sighed, wondering why Taiping had put him in command, and over her favorite nephew no less. "Five to one. If we surround the Palace, we can crush them. Empress Wei will have no choice but to surrender, the little bitch isn't stupid, she'll know when she's conquered." There was an undertone of violence to his words that forced Shang to understand his real meaning. It was none of his business what he did to Empress Wei, she could die the Death of a Thousand Cuts befitting the traitor she was, but he himself would not have permitted what he implied. 

Letting the comment go, Shang shook his head. "Make one move and our aunt is dead," and Mulan, but he could not say that now. "It's not as easy as storming the Palace this time. They're not the Tujue." He had learned from his experience with Shan-yu, and Mulan's little plan to save the Emperor, strategy and deceit counted for more than strength. 

Li Longji grabbed ahold of his arm, Shang fought to suppress a small shiver, not knowing why the other man made his skin crawl. "You'd better be right," a strong note of danger hardened his already deep voice. "If anything happens to my aunt..." He did not finish, leaving the threat open. Shang eyed him coldly from head to toe, his cousin was not as tall as he, and more slender. People often said they looked alike. Women fainted over him and he allowed it, using them as he would. His cousin hated women, save Taiping, always surrounded by those who were so much smarter than himself. That was one reason he had not brought Mulan along. He planned to keep Mulan as far from Li Longji as possible, she was too naive for a playboy like him. Tai-shan was a playboy, and a downright whore, but at least there was unconditional trust between them. 

"She's my aunt too," Shang wrenched his arm free roughly, mounting his horse again. His aunt too, but he wasn't happy with her. One day after his marriage, just a taste of a peaceful life, and she had demanded him as her errand boy. He had come, of course, because he had no choice, that's how he had reasoned it out. They had made a deal, a marriage for his services. Still, why didn't she just send the scroll to her favorite nephew? "You and your men keep out of sight. I'm going to the Palace." Seizing his reins, he steered his horse around. "I'll be back in an hour." 

Li Longji was left there seething, tapping his foot. At that moment Shang could care less. 

He was glad for the silence on his ride into the Palace, Longji's army of ten thousand had prevented any such thing as peace of mind. The troops were still outside the city, awaiting the signal from Longji. Shang awaited a plan from Mulan, there was no way an obvious onslaught would get them anywhere. He wasn't quite sure why he bothered to fight so hard to save Taiping, what had she ever done for him besides use him as her pawn? No, that was unfair, but she had certainly never doted on him the way she had Longji. He owed her nothing, he kept telling himself, his efforts were all for Empress Wei. Revenge, revenge for murdering his uncle. Li Xian had always been kind to him, Li Xian had never used him. But Taiping, it wouldn't have rankled so much if she had shown him genuine affection, if he could figure out what she was after. 

Once inside the Palace grounds, he trotted slowly on his horse's back to the spot where he had agreed to meet Mulan, keeping his eyes open for the unexpected. There was an open field near the Palace gate, a kind of practice yard where they had liked to spar. There were few guards here, and really there wasn't a need for any. It was a place for soldiers, courtiers never ventured here at all. There was no one about now, the flat ground spotted by shadows of trees leaning their branches over the Palace wall. Two guards stood nearby at the gate he had entered, soldiers he knew well. He dismounted, looking around, where was she? 

Something soft dropped into his hands, a sheer silk scarf some shade of deep mauve or red, he could not tell in the darkness. He raised his head, seeing a slim figure in the window above him, leaning over the balcony. For a moment, he stood agape. Her shoulders and arms were bare, with only a loose robe of gold threaded white silk wrapped around her body and held in place beneath her chest by a bright red sash. Her exposed skin was layered in necklaces, her wrists with jewels and her hair was a headdress of golden combs and red feathers. Through the heavy mask of face paint, he almost did not recognize his own wife. 

Looping the scarf around the pillar holding up the balcony, Shang used it to climb up to her. With one leg swung over the balcony's edge, he balanced himself, returning her scarf and draping it around her shoulders again, covering her. But inside he felt a twinge of something, the same forbidden longing he had often felt for Ping, when he had studied with shameful care the shapely lips, large eyes and tiny frame of a small boy soldier. It was not forbidden anymore, he had to remind himself, and she was not a boy. Yet it still seemed forbidden, as if it were filthy and defiling to look at her with open and unabashed lust, to admire the swell of her breast, the slope of her shoulders, the way the silk clung to the shallow flare of her hip. And those lips, their well-defined and sensual shape, ideal for kissing. The strong perfume must be dizzying his head, reminding him of the clean scent of her hair, the salty sweet taste of her skin in the softest and most tender of places. Yes, it felt so forbidden, such a cheapened and carnal thing beside the true respect he held for her. It was nothing of prudishness - he had admired and pursued women before, singers, dancers, poets, talent was so much more thrilling than beauty - but the notion of being undeserving now.. He breathed in deeply her perfume again, what spell had she thrown on him? 

"Princess Taiping said I had better disguise myself if I am going to wait for you," she noted his shock at her appearance, looking down at herself a bit disbelievingly too. "She said I can't look like the same woman the guard saw entering her rooms. I can't look like anyone who could possibly be tied to her. What do you think?" She posed a bit. "Do I look pretty?" 

Shang glared at her, she looked like something Tai-shan would go wild over and she had walked through the Palace that way! How was he going to take her near Li Longji now? "We both know you have no shame." It wasn't meant to sound so playful, he was displeased, not at her really, but at Taiping. _I can dance, and sing too _he heard her declaring again at the banquet. He shook his head, there were more important things right now. "What have you learned?" 

Leaning against one side of the balcony, she angled her body in such a way that the curve of her hip was plainly obvious. "Is that all you want from me?" Her head tilted to one side. "To gain information? And all this time I thought men were after something else." 

"Stop it!" he scolded her in a sharp whisper. "This is no time for-" 

He cut off when she lifted one leg, balancing her silk slippered foot on his knee and leaning back. "I want to show you something," her smile held nothing but childish amazement, a blossoming maiden discovering her charms for the first time. He shook his head, trying not to pay too much attention to the way the thin silk stretched itself around her thigh, gathering in little ripples at the bend of her knee. More important things, he chanted to himself. Lifting the hem of her dress, she first revealed one slim, white ankle, then raised the silk higher to her knee, and then higher still until her thigh was exposed. The guards whistled, called out their appreciation at the white leg bare in the night. His first urge was to snatch her skirt back and cover her, but his eyes were fixed on a dark shape etched there. "It's a magnolia," she declared, proudly flaunting her new tattoo for all the world to see, delighting in her audience. "Isn't it pretty? Taiping had one of her ladies do it for me, to complete the disguise." 

"And just how far were you planning to go with this... disguise?" he demanded roughly. In the back of his mind he wondered, as many times as he had seen those feet bare at Wu Zhong, how he had mistaken her for a boy. They were so white and small. 

Letting her skirt fall back a little, she took her red scarf and looped it around his neck, tugging at the ends and forcing him forward, closer to her. "As far as I have to," she dropped her voice to a whisper, red rouged lips against his cheek. He tried to draw back, maybe being strangled by her scarf would clear his head. Well, she was right about one thing, no one would suspect it was her 

"Are you drunk?" There they were on the balcony, a general with a scantily clad concubine who had him trapped with one leg and a red scarf! She seemed to enjoy watching him fight for restraint, she seemed to thrive on it, as if it were some twisted revenge for all the times he had made her squirm in training, her day of reckoning. 

She stopped her preening and stood with her arms folded, letting the ends of her scarf dangle freely around his neck. "I had a little wine with dinner." Standing up straight again, she sighed. "I think I have a plan, Taiping thinks it'll work but it's a little dangerous." He chuckled despite himself, what could possibly be more dangerous than facing an entire Hun army with only a single cannon? 

He glanced over his shoulder, new figures were passing along the gate. Grabbing her arms, he pulled her against him, kissing her as thoroughly as he knew how. Pushing her away gently, he caught his breath. She was standing with one hand pressed to her breast, as though she would faint, smiling at him through lowered lashes. 

"They were watching," he explained quickly, as if he needed an excuse to kiss his own wife. "I couldn't let them see who we were." She nodded, but still grinned. With another shake of his head, he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Come on then, my pretty concubine." Holding her in one arm, he slid down the balcony to the ground again. He scooped her up in both arms and placed her onto his horse, climbing behind her and letting her ride side-saddle balanced on his knee. Now the entire Palace would think he was having an affair with a courtesan. Good gods, he wasn't Tai-shan! But it wasn't nearly as bad as them knowing Mulan's ties with Taiping. He sighed, wishing he had the freedom not to care what others thought of him, the freedom that Mulan exercised with gusto. 

"Taiping bribed her servant to take my horse outside the gate," Mulan informed him, making an exaggerated show of leaning against his shoulder as they passed the gate guards. "And it's just an ink drawing." He sighed in relief, the last thing he needed was a tattooed bride. She started to whisper in his ear, this plan she had, but began pressing kisses to his neck to help her ruse. Just don't get carried away, he scolded her in his mind, we have a mission ahead of us. So long as she could play the mindless concubine until they got her things and her armor again, no one would be the wiser. 

~ * ~ 

As Li Longji tapped his foot angrily outside the Palace gate, Shang cursed Taiping for the hundredth time that night. It was very early morning now, well before dawn, the smoky indigo of the fading night sky still held the moon high overhead. He gave a long sigh as he tested Li Longji's ropes again and continued up the Palace steps. With six thousand men blending into the Great Square now wearing only rags, and four hundred at his heels, Mulan's plan should be fool proof. Still he wished he wasn't so nervous, he wished Mulan would stop fidgeting where she stood several yards behind him, it would be so much more reassuring. 

Thankfully, Li Longji had ignored Mulan's presence, she had stayed with the soldiers, and would remain there until it was time. Under her armor and helmet, and as far away as she was, Longji didn't even seem to notice that she was a woman at all. 

"Let's just get this over with, _cousin_," Longji hissed, tapping his foot once more. His pride was hurt at being dragged and bound into the Palace, where all the guards could see him, even if it was only a pretense, part of the plan. "My father had better reward me for this. Maybe if he wasn't so weak, if he didn't spend his time watching herbs grow, my aunt wouldn't be in danger." Shang felt another shiver crawl up his spine. One moment he was a filial son, willing to fight for the throne in Li Dan's name, the next he was full of scorn for his father, a violent scorn. For him, nothing was worth the cost of Taiping's life. Nothing. 

The guards were staring, leaving Shang no other choice but to cuff his cousin across the face. The other man groaned as his lip caught the steel rim of Shang's gauntlet. "Be silent, traitor!" Shang growled loudly enough for the guards to hear. "You'll have plenty of time to talk once Her Majesty gets a hold of you!" All the while, Shang wished he didn't delight so much in striking the other man. Taiping, why did she have to mix him up in this? 

They made their way through the gate, into the Palace, Mulan and her men behind them. Her part of the plan was simple, run to take Taiping to safety, and wave a signal for the soldiers in the square. _Your mother told me to be like water, _Mulan had said, _and Tie-lin taught me how to be still. We have to appear harmless until the right moment. It's all in the timing. _The wisdom of women, Shang nodded to himself, it was something to be frightened of. 

"Empress Wei," Shang demanded of another guard. "Take me to Empress Wei." 

Bowing, the guard led them through the halls. So she was not presumptuous enough to plant herself in the Throne Room, not that it mattered. They were led to her personal chambers, grander than Taiping's even. Who could expect less, when she thought herself the next monarch of China? 

Her appearance always surprised Shang, she seemed so sweet by first glance, a small willowy woman who hardly looked old enough to carry the years she had. She made him think of bamboo, bending in the wind, yet surviving the storm. It would take fire to destroy her. For a moment, he tried to understand her, her life, her motives. This woman had been exiled with his uncle, disgraced by Empress Wu, yet she had been the rock that Li Xian had leaned upon, just like Empress Wu. In his later years, the Emperor had been old and withering, but the people loved Li Xian, they had loved him for the way he saw to their needs. Shang wondered what had changed her, made her so vicious, he found it hard to believe a woman born with that face could have been monster all her life. Why, Taiping, he wondered in silence, why didn't you stop her long ago? Why did you let her make a puppet of Anle? 

Pushing Li Longji forward on his knees, Shang bowed before the Empress. "Your Highness, I caught him outside the city, bragging. He helped Taiping kill your husband, and they have a plot to kill you next. I've brought him to confess, and for your to punish as you see fit. We can't let either of these traitors escape justice for their crimes." 

Genuine anger caused his words to shake only slightly, it was not hard finding real anger when looking at her. 

A smile broke across that pretty doll's face, pleased and convinced. "I thought as much," she clicked her tongue, a good actress he must admit. "Nephew, I always knew you and that aunt of yours would bring me trouble one day. I never thought it would be my own husband. You were always so loyal to Taiping, she is too much like you mother. Go, " the order was for his soldiers. "Fetch Taiping at once and have her brought to me. Tell her I promise swift justice." She seemed to take special pleasure in drawing out those last words. Mulan turned, leading half of her soldiers to obey the Empress. 

"Confess," he barked roughly at Longji, prostrate on the floor now. "Tell Her Majesty how Taiping poisoned the Emperor's perfume so she could take the throne herself! Tell her how she hired you to kill General Zhen, a man loyal to the Empress, tell her how she was your next target!" He slammed his foot into his cousin's side, watching him jerk in the sudden pain. This had to be convincing. "Tell her!" Shang turned his eyes to the almost beaming Empress. "Your Majesty, I am prepared to use torture if I must." 

At her nod, Shang drew his sword, kicking Longji onto his back. This time, he felt a bit of remorse as he made a nick on his cheek, a shame to mar that handsome face, he thought bitterly. As Longji let out a pretend cry, Shang poised the sword again, the torture was to cut the flesh one nick at a time, until the victim was left to bleed to death after the thousand cuts. It often took long hours to die, the stories said, and was carried out almost like a ritual. They had agreed on only one cut. 

"Alright!" His cousin made a fine impression of sounding terrorized. 

The Empress seemed disappointed when Shang lowered his sword. She folded her arms. "You had better tell me everything, Nephew," her smile was cruel, making Shang's stomach turn as the tone in her words turned almost wistful. "I have a spot of earth where I have just planted new bamboo. I could keep you there, day and night, within two years the bamboo would start to grow through your body. Most painful." 

This time, Shang was sure Li Longji's look of horror was only half pretended. "She wants the throne, she promised to make me Crown Prince. She-" 

He was interrupted by a guard bursting through the door. 

"Your Majesty, a riot has broken out in the Great Square. You must come see!" 

Empress Wei whirled on him, her face painted with rage. "It will have to wait! I have a prisoner to deal with. Now go! Send the Palace Guard to deal with it!" 

The guard dropped on his knees. "Please, Your Majesty, they're-" 

"Go!" Her last shard of her dignity was shattered. The guard scrambled from the room. 

Li Longji rose to his knees, in a few moments this would all be over. His cheek was bleeding, his lip bruised from the blow Shang had dealt him earlier. It's too late now, Empress Wei, Shang thought as she stepped toward Li Longji again, there's no one here to protect you now. 

The door creaked open a second time, admitting Mulan and another soldier escorting Taiping. The princess's hands were bound in front of her with Mulan's red silk scarf. She did not put on as fine a ruse as her nephew, but stood stiff-backed and proud, no one's captive. He glanced at her angrily. This was all her fault. 

"Taiping," Empress Wei sung the word with a sickly smile. How could someone so pretty smile like that? "I see you're ready to confess. Poisoning my husband was a little... low, but forcing my daughter to throw herself at your other nephew, and to pin the blame on me? That was child's play, anyone could see through your scheme. We aren't children anymore." That cut deep, his aunt flinched at those words, and oddly Mulan did as well. 

"Were we ever allowed to be?" A strange cast of sadness had come over Taiping's words. Shang stared at her, and the vicarious sadness which had crept over Mulan's face. He saw what he had hoped never to see, Mulan was devoted to her now, lost in this court game. He clenched his fists, nails cutting into his palms. Wasn't using him enough for her? Did she have to trap an innocent woman as well? Of all the people in the world, Mulan was the one he wanted to save from the iniquity of the Court, It had shattered his life, stolen his father, his uncles, his grandmother. Why was she trying to steal her too? 

The Empress' eyes flashed with anger as she paced to and fro, cold and unfeeling, an odd contrast to the spark of open emotion in Taiping's face. "You're always so good at being tragic, but I've won this time. Tonight, I will let you live, long enough to see your precious nephew die at the hands of his cousin. Tomorrow, you will face the court, and before you lose face in front of everyone, you will announce that I will succeed the throne. All your power, all your influence, will be gone. But I am merciful, I will allow you one last shard of honor. When it is done, you will take your own life and be noble, so you can show your face to your Ancestors in Heaven. After all, you were my childhood friend." 

Shang hoped his shivers weren't obvious; she was a monster in the face and form of a doll. 

"I want to show you something," Taiping said quietly, part of the plan, or no, the Empress had wounded her with those words. Shang felt a momentary pity, but only that brief, she could have saved his uncle. 

When the Empress' brow quirked in surprise, Longji turned to Shang, holding out his bound hands. In one careful stroke, Shang slashed the ropes. The other man bolted to his feet, seizing a frozen Empress Wei, brandishing a knife and pressing it against her snowy throat. She tried to scream, but no sound came out. Her eyes were wide. 

"You!" Her head turned towards Shang. "You betrayed me!" 

After Mulan had untied the scarf around Taiping's hands, the Princess stepped forward. "I know the truth, and you know it. There is no one to save you now, you dismissed the guard." She gestured to Longji, "Bring her." 

Keeping the knife steady at her neck, Longji proceeded to drag her from the room, down the dimly lit halls and around a turn until they came to the balcony. 

She was forced to face the courtyard below, the shouting mob of soldiers who had doffed their rags, waving drawn blades and chopping at the few remaining guards who dared still resist. Bodies were strewn across the walks, the grass, even floating in the pools, staining the once clear water red. Most of the dead wore the uniforms of the Guards, overcome by Li Longji's men. Shang closed his eyes against a bloody memory, he had seen this before in Louyang. Once again his country was being torn apart, right before his eyes, and Mulan's eyes. He felt like screaming, lashing out. 

The Empress let out a strangled whimper of her own, sagging against Longji. Her eyes turned to Taiping, shining with a veil of fresh tears, stricken tears. "Make them stop," her lips trembled over the words. "You have that power." 

Shang's thoughts echoed those of the Empress, but Taiping shook her head sadly, Mulan stepped closer to her. "Do you know what they want?" The Princess intoned quietly. 

"Blood...?" The Empress' face had paled, the tears sliding down her cheeks now. 

"Your blood," it was almost a whisper. "They know you killed Li Xian and they want justice. They know you want the throne and they don't want another Empress Wu. Give up, your dreams are destroying this city, and soon the empire with it." 

Her whole body shook with her sobs, her fear. "No..." 

Li Longji pressed his knife further into her throat, his grip around her tightening. "What do you want? That last _shard of honor_? I don't think so." He had all the fury of a lover avenging his beloved, it made Shang cringe, that zeal in his eyes. "But what to do with you? Kill you quickly and not let you suffer a moment? Or should I give you to each one of my men and let you die like the whore you are? Or how about that bamboo?" A slow trickle of crimson droplets dripped from under his knife point. Her face was wet with tears, rendering a smeared fingerpainting of her make-up. She was weeping uncontrollably while Taiping stood there, watching him torture her girlhood friend. She may as well have been a stone statue, for all the emotion she showed now. 

Empress Wei jerked, kicking Li Longji in the groin. He dropped the knife, crying in pain, giving her that crucial moment to pick up her skirts and run, screaming for Anle. 

"Go after her!" Taiping pointed in the direction she had gone. Shang took off running with Mulan and Li Longji at his heels. 

Shang led the chase up a curving flight of marbles steps, for a little woman, she was surprisingly fast, but she was a frantic woman. Swords drawn, the trio followed her into a chamber and out again, down another hall, her shrieks ringing through the air until she slipped into yet another dark corridor and was lost from sight. Glancing at each other, the three generals reached an intersection of two corridors where the Empress had last appeared, deciding to split up. Shang took the turn to his right, hearing a door slam in the hall ahead of him. He froze the moment after he burst through the inner door. 

The chamber was dimly lit by green candles, wafting a fragrant spicy scent in the air. He breathed it in a moment, it was calming, soothing. A young woman stood with her back to him, gazing in the bronze looking glass on the wall. The dark eyes met his in the mirror, clear, intelligent eyes. It was Anle, swathed in her finest brocades, green and ivory, a small brush in one raised hand as she carefully painted her eyebrows, intent on nothing else. She was so composed and serene, so beyond what was happening around her, though the shouts from the courtyard rang clear. 

Her eyes would not leave his, her red lips formed one word. "Please." 

He turned the sword in his hands, leaning tiredly against the door frame, his eyes squeezed shut in physical pain. Not again. A parade of memories pushed themselves before his eyes, dark memories. He was back in Louyang again, a sword raised in a rebel's hand, Maosu stepped forward, Shang felt his body tense as if that sword had run through him instead, pressing a hand to his side to collect the fauceting blood. But that was not the worst of it. There were snow covered mountains all around him, a frail yet brave woman kneeling helpless at his feet, the shadow of his sword fell across her flushed face, flushed with fear and the fever of her wound. The sword dropped, clattered, his father rose from the platform, alive. 

What were his choices? To spare her now and leave her for the angry mob to rape and torture as they would? It did not matter if she was innocent, she was the daughter of a criminal. If he killed her quickly, as she was imploring him, it would save her moments, hours of pain. Was that mercy, he asked himself, was that honor? Even if her blood was on his hands? Shang's head swelled with the madness of it, it was all like a fever dream. He couldn't do it, not an innocent woman, not his father, not Mulan. So he lowered the sword, leaving her for the mob, enraged by his own weakness. He wanted to help her, this victim of the Court. 

His eyes opened again, the sword was at his feet on the blue rug, Anle was still painting her eyebrows in the mirror. But something was different. There was a new face in the glass, Mulan's face. 

"You can't hide anymore, Anle," he heard Mulan hiss. "I know the truth!" 

Anle moved one hand over her white throat as Mulan lifted her sword, holding it out with both hands. 

"No, Mulan, wait!..." He stepped forward, his eyes squeezed shut at the swish of silk skirts, Anle running forward, and the sound of something wet. When he opened his eyes, a lucid thought came to him, a pragmatic thought. His cousin was too tall to behead herself on Mulan's sword, if that was her aim, By instinct, Mulan must have lowered the blade to try to pull it back. 

But when he opened his eyes he saw that Anle had been too quick, piercing her middle, spattering the two generals with blood. He forced himself to look at Anle, sprawled on the floor on her side, refusing to treat her death with the same cowardice as he had his fathers, eyes fleeting from the sight. His gaze took in the discarded make-up brush, the white hands dipped in the blood that was leaking from her torso, over her once fine clothes and onto the rug. He staggered back against the door frame again, leaning against it. 

Mulan had not moved an inch, the bloody sword still in her hand, just like Tai-shan that night in Louyang. "I didn't mean..." her words trailed off. It was just as well, no words could change what she had done. 

"She was innocent," Shang heard himself say, surprised at how firm his voice was. He tried to tell himself it was accident, Mulan had only drawn the sword. Anle had stepped into it. But he was so torn, he couldn't stand to see another member of his family die. "We'll have to hide her for a proper burial, we can't treat her like one of the traitors." 

The sword fell from Mulan's hand. "Innocent?" She repeated the word in a shaky whisper. "She killed the Emperor! Taiping has proof!" 

"Taiping?" He spat the name like a curse. If it weren't for Taiping, none of this would have happened today, and the woman had planted this false proof in Mulan's head? Using her to eliminate another possible obstacle to her power? He expected better of Mulan, more intelligence, more loyalty. Anger burned inside of him, how could she, Taiping, steal the one thing in his life that was clean, pure? How could she? "You let yourself be manipulated by Taiping? It's one thing to serve her but another to kill for her! She'll find _proof _thatI killed the Emperor if it suited her, she's not to be trusted!" Somewhere deep in his mind, he knew he had gone too far, been unfair. Why was he shouting at her? Why couldn't he swallow his anger enough to find a clear headed thought? 

Her eyes were wide, hurt, disbelieving, furious. "You were the one who brought us here, don't talk about your aunt that way! I trust her! Maybe you should trust me like you promised! I'm not as stupid and naive as you seem to think, I may be a peasant girl but I can make up my own mind about who's trustworthy!" 

His eyes narrowed, he wanted to fight this rage, he wanted to reason this out. "As long as you serve her, I want nothing to do with you." Why that poison in his voice? Where had he learned such cruelty, to be so bitterly false in his words. Those were not the words he wanted to say. He wanted to run to her, wanted her as a shield from all this madness. But she had betrayed him now, she had abandoned him to become a part of the life he hated. 

He turned from the room, his wife had condemned an innocent woman, she had trusted Taiping over him. Shang walked through the Palace halls like a ghost, empty, lost. He felt nothing when he saw Longji carrying the head of Shangguan Wan'er on the end of his sword, his eyes overlooked the slain officers of the Palace Guard, men of the Wu and Wei families. Most of all, he found a special numbness as he gazed down at the courtyard again, the soldiers were cheering, passing Empress Wei's corpse over the crowd, stripped bare now and spangled with blood. 

"I've done what you asked," he turned to Taiping, who was watching the scene with all her cold impartiality, wondering briefly if she shared his apathy. "Let me go." 

She looked at him, with the same eyes he had glimpsed in his own face staring out of that mirror, the same stoic mask on her features. His hatred grew, consuming him in one moment. How had he managed to become like her?   



	20. Part II: Chapter Eight

rain9 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky aka Lian-hua 

Mulan had spent hours on her knees in the temple, the events of the previous night refused to flee her thoughts, leaving her no peace. She was crying now, her hot tears like the tiny points of the candle flames against her skin. For hours those tears simply would not stop, just like everything else. One thought pushed its way before all others, gaining precedence in it's stark and morbid uncertainty. Had she really meant to kill Anle? Had it really been an accident? Or had some involuntary part of her moved the sword to ensure that any contact Anle took with the blade would forge a fatal wound? 

Anle was a murderer, a traitor, killing in perfect calculation the man who had so affectionately pardoned Mulan for one of the greatest of crimes. It was not as if she did not deserve justice, it was not as if Mulan doubted Taiping. The emperor had been loved, despite his draft campaign, respected deeply by Mulan, even letting her embrace him. Anle had taken that man away to serve her and her mother's ambition. Yet there was one thing Mulan wanted, a confession from Anle, for Shang, to ease his mind after she was executed. Mulan swallowed, she had been hoping the sentence would be left for someone else to carry out. Not her, not Shang, but someone. 

The very thought of him made her head throb in pain. He had gone home, to Tai-shan no doubt, leaving her in the Palace with Taiping. The wound was consuming her this time, Mulan had thought they were beyond this, the arguments, the distance. He would not even speak to her. How did he know that she wasn't killed by the rebels, how could he not care? Mulan sighed, as another flood of tears broke afresh. Would he always hurt her? Would his anger forever blind him to her feelings and thoughts? Would she always forgive him? His anger, she could understand it, it was a part of him. But why did he have to take it out on her, blame her, blame Taiping? If she forgave him this, what else would she forgive? Where did it stop, his power over her? And where did her own resistance begin? 

There was a rustle of skirts behind her, a new shadow brushed across the temple wall as Taiping knelt beside her. Mulan turned, inclined her head respectfully to the older woman. The Princess' face was as cool and hard as ever, yet dispassionate and bitter at the same time. The two woman sat in silence for a moment, for once Mulan did not mind Taiping's scrutiny. 

"Why the tears?" Taiping asked quietly. "Your husband?" 

Mulan nodded, wiping her eyes. "It's just like that day in the mountains," she poured out, no reservation, no dignity. "When he found that out I was a woman. He left me there. I had a wound in my side, and he just rode away. I know I had broken the law, but I expected better of him, more compassion." 

"He's a man," The Princess chided her gently. "They are all confused little boys with the world on their shoulders, and it kills them. It doesn't mean they love us any less, but their own lives are too much. Li Shang," The name seemed to make her head ache too. "Sometimes he acts as if he were born wounded. Such a proud man, hiding a scared little boy. So afraid he's going to end up like me. But what is he afraid of? He barely knows me." She laughed a bit, forcing Mulan to crack a tiny smile in return. 

She hoped Taiping was right, that he had not meant the words he said. Their faith had been broken, his trust in her, hers in him, and just like that day at the Pass. She wondered how would they get past this too? Was there a point where two people held so much hurt between them that love and trust were swallowed by it? Or was there such a thing as mighty love, this thing that poems spoke of, something that was so much stronger than these bitter moments of betrayal and distance. If only he wouldn't run away, if only she didn't always follow him, violating her sense of pride. But he had never asked her to follow him, she had done that all on her own, and that was the most frightening thing of all. 

He just needed time to think, she reasoned it out for herself, some time to be alone. But what was there to think about? What was there to decide? Whether he still wanted her or not? All the thinking in the world would not change what had happened last night. She could not imagine that, something that was so horrible he could not stand to be near her, she would never not want to be near him. 

"Your Highness?" Mulan was studying the candle flames, the statue of Buddha at the alter, tranquil and all-knowing. What was that like? "Why didn't you cry for Empress Wei? You said she was your friend once." 

This time her short laughter held some of the bitterness in her eyes. "Since when did I have time for tears? There is a flood in the south, the people are homeless, there is famine in the west and the people are starving, the villages in the north suffer minor attacks and the people are dying. Everyday I must listen to the advise of the officials on these matters, I must haggle with them to dispatch food and soldiers to help my people. Today I received a letter that my brother will arrive in two weeks to take the throne, at the urging of his son, Li Longji. He is weak, without allies, and not a mind for ruling. He is a quiet, simple man, but he is still a member of the Li family, and perhaps our last hope to keep the Dynasty from crumbling. I have two weeks to prepare the Court, gain him allies and use my influence to see that he ascends the throne smoothly. So you see, I'm too tired for tears." 

All Mulan could do was stare at her, her composure, her strength. She was one with her own sorrows, surrendering to them even. It made Mulan think of Tie-lin, who never struggled with anything, floating along with such trust that something, some higher force would show her the way. Mulan had struggled everyday of her life, struggled for acceptance, respect and freedom. There had been harsh consequences, but still it was worth it. But these women, they forgot themselves, their own wishes, their own pain, disregarding it as nothing compared to whatever it was that carried them. _The highest excellence is like water. Nothing is so essential to life. Water benefits all things without struggle and abides in places that men hate. Therefore, it is like the Tao. _Mulan knew she was kneeling beside the true ruler of China, no matter what man was given the throne, the throne she could have easily seized for herself and the fame that came with it, like her mother. It was Taiping's selflessness that was holding the country together now. That was true integrity, Mulan decided. She wanted so much to be like her. 

"Why do you do it? if it hurts you so much?" The question was more out of simple curiosity than anything, a question Mulan had often asked herself. "They'll never let you have the throne, the histories will never record the good things you have done, you said so yourself." 

This time, the Princess smiled faintly, just a slight change to that regal face, a hint of affection. "When Shan-yu held the Emperor hostage, and his life was in danger, why did you fight so hard to save him? Even though you were an outcast? Why didn't you leave it to the army and run away?" 

That day came back to her, so clear in her mind. She had been at odds with Li Shang, frustrated beyond belief, but giving up had never occurred to her. "Because I felt like I was the only one who knew what to do. I didn't think about it. It had to be done. If I didn't step in..." She shivered a little, the thought of Shan-yu taking over the city, leaving it in General Li's hand. Fragments of those all too familiar nightmares passed before her eyes. She concentrated on the candle flames to keep her head clear, it was a trick she had learned in her first training. She sighed, the terrible thoughts had vanished, yet a new sense of bitterness had settled in their wake. "There is no reward for any of this, is there?" Her voice hardened a bit. "Reward is only for men, isn't it?" She looked to Taiping expectantly. 

"Reward?" Taking a new stick of incense, Taiping lit it and placed it fastidiously on the altar before them. "We Buddhists believe that all life is suffering, because we are always desiring more, a reward, riches, a title. It's all an illusion. But there is something...something real." Her voice suddenly swelled. "There is not one of us who escapes the law of karma, that law says all our desires must be filled before we can find eternal peace. Learning to desire the right thing is the key. Maybe in her next life Empress Wei will be reborn as a great king, and she will learn that there is no glory. Her only hope is to seek the wisdom of Buddha and save herself from repeating that fate. And maybe... " She was staring into the candles too, a kind of wonder filled her eyes, a dreamlike wonder. Her face seemed alight with it, youthful again for one shining moment. "Maybe in my next life I will be a mother and I will have a daughter like me. That world will be different. It will be a place where I can teach her compassion, and that it is no shame to be born a girl. In that world, there will be no swords, no poisoned wine, and this life will only be a dim memory." 

A silence washed over Mulan, a strong silence, her eyes watering at the conviction in Taiping's words. Shang's words traveled back to her. _Then I will have a son... and I will teach him compassion... Sometimes I'd like to forget I am a general, and just be a man with my wife. _It was so strange how alike they were, and how blinded Shang was to it. Two people who wanted the same thing, who lived with the same hardship. No wonder she had been drawn to Taiping. 

"Your Highness," Mulan's voice held a steady conviction, decisive and firm as she turned to Taiping. "Whatever needs to be done, I will help you. I have a duty to my country too." It was time she took a lesson from Taiping and Tie-lin, their selflessness. But what it if meant choosing between Shang and what she believed in? What was more important? She sighed, she would have to decide that when the time came. 

"We're women," she sighed, laying her soft hand over Mulan's. "We must support each other, because the men are too busy destroying themselves." 

Mulan looked down at the white hand covering hers, the older woman was speaking to her as an equal. 

~ * ~ 

That same prison of numbness clung to Shang's mind as he returned to his home in Louyang. answering his family's questions about his sudden return with as few words as possible. They had heard rumors that the Empress had been executed, that he was a hero in the capital. He shrugged all that off, retired to his room, bathed, redressed. Yet when his mother finally returned there was one question he could not escape. 

"Where is Fa Mulan?" Tan Liu inquired. She knew the truth, he was sure of it by the undertone of scolding in her voice. She knew everything. 

But what could he tell her? That he had abandoned Mulan once again, that he had turned from her and walked through the carnage of the Palace without a human emotion beyond quieting his own rage? She would be so disappointed. 

In his life, he had not spent much time with his mother, Tie-lin had been her prodigy as she sadly watched her only son wedded to the military for the glory of her husband's family. He had been a sacrifice, and his father had sold him. Any bond he and his mother shared had been forged in months, years, of letter writing. She had returned carefully written advise for his every problem and worry, she had forced herself to feel pride for the soldier her son had become, despite her peaceful ways which made warfare a compromise to her principles. It was a strange bond between mother and son, but it was the way they had lived all these years. Still, he was afraid of her, not because she was a priestess, but because he sensed that she could see and understand things he wanted to keep hidden from himself. 

"She's with Princess Taiping," he muttered quietly, the only words he said during the evening meal his family shared together, a halting contrast to the red spangled gaiety of his wedding feast. 

It was Tie-lin who found him in the temple that evening; the noise of the house, the servants, his stepmothers had been an unwelcome intrusion to the solitude he desired. The temple was the only secluded place in the entire estate, across the grass and settled on a little green rise of its own. He had taken special care to light the candles, the incense, anointing himself with the rare and precious sandalwood oil. Maybe he had never mastered the tranquility for meditation, the stillness, yet the sense of being pacified still washed over him by simply kneeling there. 

That newfound calmness made him think of Mulan, Nothing was beyond her, nothing changed her, not even his anger and harshness. Ping, how it had confused him to find himself falling for a boy, kept awake by those carnal thoughts for many a night, longing to teach the little soldier everything he knew, everything. His whole admiration came back to that arrow, the one she had climbed all night to fetch and throw at his feet. He had never meant for anyone to reach it, at the time he wasn't quite sure he could retrieve it himself. But it became plain and quintessential in his own heart, a symbol of who she was, a creature who proved to be more than what was expected, than what was deemed possible. He found himself smiling. 

He was not angry at Mulan, his anger for her had washed away the moment he left her. He was angry at Taiping, for all the secrets she had kept from him, Now that he reasoned it out, he felt more betrayed by Taiping, she had trusted someone else over him. Unfortunately that someone had been Mulan. It was hard to admit, there in the temple, that he was jealous of Li Longji, and now of Mulan, they both seemed to gain her affection so easily, why not him? At the same time, he felt as though Taiping had taken something from him, something he wanted with all his heart to be exclusively and devoutly his. He was not proud of the way he had wronged Yao in the throes of his jealousy. But in his life, where true loyalty was scarce, a man would do cruel things to keep a woman like Mulan. It was such a tangle of emotions, to want Mulan's loyalty, Taiping's love without being able to trust her in return, and to want his cousin Longji somewhere out of the picture entirely. 

"Mother is worried about you," his sister said softly, mincing her way forward. He reached for her arm and helped her to sit down beside him. She had the same look as his mother, only she was more outspoken about it. It took all his courage not to hide his face under her scrutiny. "What are you thinking?" She was the only one in the world who would ever ask him that question, everyone else either did not care, or was too afraid. And then there was Tai-shan, who didn't have to ask. 

Sighing, Shang turned to face her where he knelt. "This life, do you have any happy memories, Tie-lin?" 

The question had taken her aback, she paused with her hand halfway from dabbing the oil on her throat. A thoughtful look of sympathy crossed her features. "Mother, you, and of course Tai-shan. You?" 

"The same," he answered quietly, watching her put the tiny vial on the altar again. "And her." A softened note of affection had entered his voice. 

Tie-lin smiled. "Well doesn't that make it worth it then? I mean, if you were someone else, you might never have met Mulan in the army, and she might have been executed." Her smile deepened. "There is a such thing as fate, brother, it isn't meant for us to ponder. Just know that everything happens as it should." 

Then why did Anle die, and his uncles? What was the reason for that? But he did not say that aloud, his mood was beginning to lighten. He even found himself smiling playfully. "What if she hadn't been executed, what if I had been just another commoner who glimpsed her face in the city and wanted to marry her?" 

"If you were a commoner then you would have been in the draft, killed in the war maybe, or in some other part of the empire by the time she came home. You never would have seen her at all." Clever Tie-lin, he often grew tired of her outsmarting him. "Besides, it's something in the Turkish blood. I think she likes them tall and with a good pair of shoulders." She patted him for emphasis, bursting into laughter at his glare for her teasing. 

"Very funny," he folded his arms. 

Resting a hand on his arm, she sighed. "I'm sorry. If you weren't a son of the Li family then who would you rather be instead?" 

"I don't know," he answered slowly, having never thought about it before. Wishing for something that could not be always seemed a pointless venture. "Maybe a merchant, not a wealthy one, but wealthy enough so I could travel the Silk Road. Or maybe a fisherman, so I could live on the ocean, far from Ch'ang-an." He snickered a little at himself. "What about you?" 

His sister pursed her lips in thought then smiled. "I want to be Can-nu, the Silkworm Girl, and I would know what it is to run through green fields. It must be so liberating." With a wistful sigh, she looked down at her tiny feet. 

"Shang?" They both turned around to see Tai-shan standing in the doorway, watching him carefully with shadowed eyes. Shang sighed in relief to see him, Tie-lin hadn't mentioned that he was here. "Are you alright?" 

Nodding, Shang rose to his feet. "We've got orders, Shan, in the capital. Come with me upstairs and I'll tell you everything." He gave his friend a significant look. There wasn't much to tell about the military situation that he wouldn't have heard from his uncle already, but Shang wanted to talk. 

"I'll be there in a minute, Shang," He glanced at Tie-lin. "I wanted to say goodnight." With a shrug, Shang left the two of them there and made his way back to his rooms. 

~ * ~ 

This time when Shang entered the Imperial Palace, he tried to avoid as many eyes as possible. He was a hero now, he was well aware of that, of what sort of courtiers would try to attach themselves to him, try to buy his protection. He wanted none of that, the reward, the glory - all of that could go to Li Longji - he wanted to take his wife and go home. 

Still, he felt a bit odd asking the servants where Mulan's rooms were, that was sure to start a flood of rumors. The fact that husband and wife - and more importantly two famous generals - were not sleeping together was of interest to too many people here. He sighed, and asked anyway, sure that Taiping had set out eyes and ears for him, to run to her and report the precise moment he returned. The puppet show never ended for her, she would have him dancing to her tune until her dying day if given her way. Deep inside, the angry thoughts shamed him, Taiping was blood, his only aunt on his father's side. But he did not want to think about Taiping now, or ponder how he felt for her, he had come for Mulan. 

As expected, Mulan was not in her rooms. Of course, it would be too much to ask to take her with him quietly, saving the coming argument for the privacy of their home. No, with his luck she was likely with Taiping, the last person he wanted to see right then. 

Terribly vexed, he found a servant approaching her rooms with a pile of linens. She bowed to him deeply, though twice his age by the look of her. "Fa Mulan," he demanded roughly. "Where is General Fa?" 

"The lady general?" She quirked her brow, even she seemed surprised that he did not know the whereabouts of his own wife. What did these people think, that he kept her on a leash all day? Could not husband and wife spend time apart without people wondering? He had shamed himself though, and Mulan - every woman in the Palace knew it by now most likely. "She had no one to practice her martial arts with, so her friend Lady Jiang invited her to help her prepare for the coronation. Lady Jiang is a skilled dancer, and wanted some help with the movements for a sword dance she had designed to impress the new Crown Prince. They are still there now if you want to look for her, General." 

Brushing past her with only a small nod, Shang took in the significance of her words as he made his way down to the floor where he knew the dancers practiced. So Li Dan had come for the throne at last? No doubt to Taiping's disappointment. It was good news at least. And Mulan, instead of filling her time being influenced by Taiping she was befriending the daughters of officials? It was harmless fun, true, but she had never mentioned this Lady Jiang. He had heard her name before, the beautiful daughter of a Court physician, and enamored of Li Longji. No doubt she was the little culprit who had drawn the tattoo that Mulan was so proud of. 

The almost fanciful melody of drums and cymbals greeted his ears before he even peeked into the chamber. Through the partially opened door he could hear the soft voices and laughter of the women within under the music. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, doing more fooling around and chatting than serious practicing. He shook his head; women, you put two of them together and they either formed a lifelong bond or wanted to rip the other's throat out. 

Well, they were actually practicing, but no sword dance. When he peeked his head in the door he caught a glimpse of a young woman he guessed was Lady Jiang, finishing her dance and walking from the center stage with a length of rainbow dyed silk banner trailing behind her. She was just as tiny as Mulan, only a trifle taller and slimmer in the face, but by the applause which rewarded her performance it seemed she was liked among the girls present. It was hard to say how many girls were present, there were the musicians lined up on one side of the stage, and two girls passing in front of the stage bringing more streamers, but the rest were hidden from his view behind the door. He did not dare show his face in that room, likely Mulan had told all her newfound girl-friends what a fool he was, they had no doubt advised Mulan on just how to handle the situation, to beat him, refuse his attentions at night, poison his food... No, he would just find the guard and inform him that he wished to speak to Mulan later, after he caught a glimpse of her here. 

Suddenly the melody changed entirely, it thickened, shivered, with a slow restraint at first, a prelude to something frenzied, teamed with the high wailing of a flute. That shrill, sweet sound reminded him of the way a woman cried out when she was... No, that thought reminded him of something too bittersweet at the moment. It was barbarian music, from the Turks. 

Lady Jiang took the center of the stage again, now in a blue midriff bearing outfit of silk pantaloons and bodice, holding a sheer veil of mauve hued silk. But she did not intend to dance alone, he saw her reach for another girl's hand and then Mulan shared the stage with her. Mulan, in a gold brocade bodice dangling a fringe of beadwork over her bare torso, voluminous red trousers of scarf thin silk, colorful sash and a red turban holding her hair back. The other women stood and made a loose circle around them, wearing similar outfits, stepping back to give them room to dance. Mulan took up one end of Lady Jiang's veil and the pair began to turn and sway in perfectly synchronized movements, waving their free arms in taut, serpentine motions into the air. 

And then, Lady Jiang was staring right at him! A smile somewhere between sadistic and playful crossing her features. He shook his head at her, and started to back away, but in that moment she had oh so covertly dropped her end of the veil and slipped from the stage into the circle of her friends, but not after pushing Mulan more directly into his view. She bent, whispering something to another friend, and all of sudden they were encouraging Mulan to dance alone in the center of the circle. 

Not missing a step, Mulan caught the veil in both arms, swirling it around as she spun, in the way a butterfly moved its wings. Those wide pants ballooned around her like clouds, her veil the same shade as the aurora sky. Then the veil fell with a deft shift of her body, the rhythm increased and she swayed tentatively, then dropping her hip in time with the drumbeat, twisting her arms behind her head and leaning back. 

He had seen this dance before, _Oryantal Tansi_ in the Turkish tongue, performed at Imperial functions by highly talented women. It was always enchanting, alluring when they performed it, yet seduction was always the point. Mulan had no such purpose in mind, she - and most of the other women present - had no idea a man was even watching, she was simply taking a turn showing off for her friends. Her movements held such playfulness and energy, an innocent experimentation as she found her own command of the rhythm, letting the sensual motions come naturally, so yielding. 

Her back was to him now, arching slightly as she raised one arm in the air, head thrown back. In the blink of an eye she was on her knees, dropped so suddenly he initially thought she must have slipped until the girls encouraged her further. Her arm came up again, keeping her balanced as she dropped her head, arched her back and bent backwards all the way until her swaying shoulders brushed the floor between her bare feet that were folded under her. 

It was only a moment that she stayed in that difficult position, but it was enough, as tantalizing as though she were physically touching him. All he could see was her tilted face, her small shoulders, and the white curves of her breasts where the cloth of her bodice had been stretched to accommodate her movements. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes closed, her lips parted; her whole expression seemed swept up in a rush of joy, freedom, and that single expression suddenly became the most erotic thing imaginable. It was exactly the same look that had been the driving image of his passion for her on their wedding night. And there she was now, too unaware to be shy or ashamed. Mulan - and clumsy, seemingly inept Ping. Was there ever any end to the mystery of her? 

Shang inched his way from the door when he saw Mulan pulling herself up again, before she turned around, ready to give her stage to the next girl. He leaned his head against the wall a moment, gaining some control over himself, thinking to find a bucket of cold water as quickly as he could. Lady Jiang called loudly enough for him to hear through the door. 

"Now listen to me, Fa Mulan. You don't let Li Shang lay a hand on your until he properly apologizes!" 

He gritted his teeth, kicking the wall in frustration. From inside the room, he could hear the women falling all over themselves with triumphant laughter. Cruel, cruel women.   



	21. Part II: Chapter Nine

rain9 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Nine: 

The steady pounding of the horses' hooves only managed to hold half of Mulan's concentration. True, it was her place in the procession to lead the honor guard of soldiers chosen to escort the new Emperor into the city, Taiping had selected her personally. Although Mulan quite liked the other woman by now she was sure that the decision was not one made out of fondness. It was grandeur, decadence, that made a female general more suitable for Taiping's purposes, and that purpose was to leave an impression on the citizens that Li Dan was someone to be held in awe. Spectacle, it was all spectacle. 

Foreign musicians and dancers preceded her on the city streets, thronged by crowds of gaping citizens hoping to catch the first glimpse of their new Emperor - or the first glimpse in twenty years if they were old enough to remember when Li Dan had held the throne before. All the color and noise was enough to make anyone's head swim. 

Even her costume today was slightly ridiculous, a fitted gold breastplate, a red brocade sash dangling over black pantaloons stuffed into her boots, not to mention the sable fur cloak and red and black feathered helmet. How could they call this armor? It didn't even cover her enough to be of any protection in battle? Armor was worn to save her life, not to show off her charms. But it had all been Taiping's idea. She must look a legend, not the common soldier, men find a sword wielding woman quite thrilling, the woman had said. Really, for a grown woman, Taiping had an unhealthy obsession with playing dress-up. Of course, Mulan did not mind the dance costumes and silk dresses, those were great fun, armor was more serious. 

It became even sillier when Lady Jiang got ahold of her. Mulan asked her to draw a second tattoo with the _mendhi _ink brought from India. The girl thought herself clever when she painted an intricate design just above the top of the breastplate. Somewhere in there, she had drawn the characters for Shang's name, telling Mulan to make him search for it like the woman in the Persian harems. 

The other half of her attention was saved for her own thoughts, which centered themselves on Shang this morning. She had heard from the servants that he and Tai-shan had returned to the Palace and done some inquiring on her whereabouts. That gave her hope, only she had left the morning after on the two day ride to fetch Li Dan - or Ruizong as they called him - with no chance to talk to Shang. Taiping had given him orders through her servants to keep order in the Palace until they returned. Mulan wondered if Shang was left bitter over that, forced to be the effectual Emperor for two days. In the tumult of the Court, it was a serious responsibility, more so than being an effigy leading a parade. 

Despite her deep upset over the quarrel with Shang, Mulan found that she was enjoying herself in the Palace. She and Lady Jiang had formed a friendship, and Mulan even studied dancing with her and her friends. For the first time in her life, Mulan found some freedom here. There were things here that women could do - writing, painting, dancing, poetry, studying literature, philosophy and even swordplay - things that gained respect among men and women alike, things never of use in a village setting. Here women could go freely into the streets, could play polo, wear men's clothes and clothes that proudly displayed their beauties, not the many restrictive garments of the villagers. Mulan wanted to stay in the Palace forever and learn everything she could. If only Shang could stop taking his noble birth for granted and see how wonderful it was, at least for her sake. 

No, of course he couldn't, he was so much better at being tragic, so much more interesting. Suffering flattered him like silk finery. But what could she do, she couldn't ponder falling for another man. No one else could conjure that gravity, the depth of secret inner feelings, which drew her to him in eternal fascination. 

But there was one thing that was troubling her, something she had kept from the other women. She had the prevailing feeling that something was different about her body. It had only been two weeks since their marriage, and she would have to wait a few more days still to see if her suspicion proved true. 

Once inside the Palace again that afternoon, Mulan did make a point to search for Shang, but instead found Tai-shan of all people, prancing around the Officer's Quarters like he owned the place. She glanced over his silk clothing and sniffed. General Meng now indeed. He smiled slightly when he saw her. No doubt Shang had confided in the man and the gods only knew what else. But Tai-shan did not seem to judging her now, in fact he looked tired himself. 

"Where's Shang?" She demanded right away. 

The tall man shrugged, tilting his head in that way of his. That made her groan inwardly, at the moment, she didn't care how pretty he was. "He had to meet with some official or another. They aren't too happy about the Palace being under martial law until the Emperor takes the throne. Shang sent for me, seems he could use a friend right now. Things are bad in the Palace, and neither of us ever cared much for Ch'ang-an." Of course not, Mulan wanted to shout, they only cared for each other. 

"I guess a wife isn't enough, hmm?" She scowled bitterly. So he could seek out Tai-shan and not her? What was the difference? They were both people who loved him. 

Mulan started to turn away angrily, but he grabbed her arm a little less than gently. "Let me tell you something, _Lady Li_," She glared at him, unsure of whether he was joking or not. He didn't look angry but his eyes were serious. "You don't know Shang as well as you think. Not as well as I do. So I suggest you listen to me now." She wanted to slap him, and not only for his patronizing tone. He and Tie-lin were so different, how did they ever manage to fall in love? "I was hoping you were the kind of girl who knows how to be forceful with a man. From what Tie-lin told me I had the impression that you were brave. I've watched him run for years and don't think that hasn't hurt me. I hope you'll learn the right moment to drag him into bed. The gods know you have more power over him than you realize." 

Staring furiously, Mulan shook off his arm and then made her way back to her rooms. 

Taiping had left a message for her there with the servant. The Princess had organized a small banquet for the family tomorrow night, and as Shang's wife Mulan was required to attend. Given the state of conflict between her and her husband, the idea seemed frightfully unbearable. They would have to pretend everything was well between them for the evening, and after that they would have to talk. It was not likely that she would see him tonight, he would be busy preparing reports for the Emperor, and would likely choose to stay in the Officer's Quarters with that bastard Tai-shan to work late into the early morning. This time he would enlist no help from her, she was sure. 

_As long as you serve her, I want nothing to do with you._

Such wretched words, she could never imagine unleashing that sort of cruelty upon him. Sinking into the sofa, she closed her eyes, remembering that horrible night until she was wiping away tears with her sleeve. 

~ * ~ 

"What's wrong, Shang?" Mulan made a clumsy conversation as they made their way to the banquet hall. They had to at least make an entrance together for appearances sake. He had said little to her the entire walk downstairs, beyond who was to replace the officers killed in the rebellion a week ago, as if military matters were the only safe topic of conversation. 

His features tensed, not expecting a personal question. What were they, commander and soldier again? "Nothing, I'm tired. I've been awake all night." 

"Finishing your reports with Tai-shan?" 

He shook his head. "No, we finished early." 

Mulan frowned. "Why didn't you come to me then?" Was it so hard to be with his own wife at night? Or had he been out drinking with Tai-shan? He hardly looked ill this evening. 

"You were asleep," he had to turn his head slightly to the side to say it. "You looked peaceful enough without me waking you." She sighed, her sleep wasn't peaceful at all, it had been filled with nightmares of Anle and Shan-yu. It might have been nice to have his comfort then. But at least he had come to check on her. 

Reaching the banquet hall, they entered and took their places beside Taiping. The Emperor was already at the head of the table, Li Longji at his right, even Lady Jiang and a consort of the new Emperor were there also. Other than Shang's cousin, Li Dan had no other children. 

Li Dan bore a great resemblance to the late Emperor, the same tall stately figure wizened by age, but the dark eyes sharp and filled with the wisdom of his years. Zhongzong had been much more grand, his silks, his ornaments, this man wore simple robes, no jewelry save for a round jade pendant. His gnarled hands looked rough with callouses, no doubt from twenty years of tending his gardens. He seemed regretful to have left them. 

"Brother," Taiping smiled over her wine. "This is General Fa, a most keen young woman and an asset to the Tang Empire." 

The aged monarch raised his wine cup in a toast. "I am no stranger to your accomplishments, Fa Mulan, they often speak of them in the country. You have been a good example, that duty and honor do not stop with sons." Mulan smiled, her cheeks flushing a bit, accepting the toast and compliment graciously. Li Dan chuckled. "Look at her, sister, how she blushes like a village girl. I think that's charming, don't you, nephew?" His eyes traveled teasingly to Shang. 

"Indeed, Your Majesty." Shang looked uncomfortable at the jest, clearly he had never had an older relative to razz him before. Mulan frowned at that, she could not imagine life without her grandmother's teasing, even if it did shock her half the time. 

The Emperor waved his hand impatiently. "Come now, nephew. I've lived for twenty years without anyone calling me "Your Highness" or "Your Majesty," there is no need to start now. I am the only uncle you have left and we do not even know each other. That is tragic, isn't it?" 

"It is, uncle," Shang nodded. Taiping and Li Longji exchanged a worried glance that was not difficult to read. They feared Li Dan too soft to hold the throne, too lenient. 

The meal was served, the courses more simplified then what she had eaten at Li Xian's banquet, but Empress Wei was known for her excesses. Shang seemed to be avoiding Taiping's gaze the entire time, answering the Emperor's questions politely yet quietly, the old man seemed to understand he was upset over something, and also seemed puzzled that Shang and his son made no attempt to speak to the other. Mulan was unsure why Shang did not like his cousin, she herself had no opinion on the man either way; he made no effort to speak to her. She suspected Taiping rested at the heart of their animosity for the other. 

"When I look at you children I feel almost guilty," the new Emperor mused aloud during the meal. "For twenty years my life has been so peaceful, and yours have been filled with war, intrigue and death. You can't imagine the joy of being just a common man after thirty years in the Palace." A strange look passed over Shang's face, almost dreamy. He lowered his face to hide it. 

Taiping gave her brother a sad hint of a smile. "Our three generals are brave, brother, none more than the other. They have devoted their lives so the common man might live in peace." 

"I've devoted my life to growing herbs," he picked up his cup again. "So when the armies pass through, and bring their destruction to my beautiful country, I know something green will grow again in their wake. But here, here," Li Dan raised another toast. "I am proud of my generals." 

Li Longji was scowling as he went through the motions of the toast. "My father and I have some philosophical differences." There was a clear note of bitterness in his voice. The decorated soldier, and the gardener. A strange family. 

"Some of us appreciate life," Shang muttered acidly into his cup, his eyes meeting his cousin's sharply. The room fell into a tense silence as the two men locked stares, but it was Li Longji who first dropped his gaze. Sipping his wine, Shang seemed satisfied. 

But the new Crown Prince was not, he turned his own wine glass thoughtfully in one hand, watching the contents swish back and forth. "Allow me to show my cousin about appreciation." Taking a draught from the cup, his gaze strayed across the table. "Lady Jiang," it was a firm command. "Dance for me." 

Mulan watched her friend rise nervously, caught off guard by the request. "If that is what Your Highness wishes, I will go fetch the others." 

"No," he set the cup down. "Just you." 

Bowing again, Lady Jiang waited for a servant to bring her a length of green cloth to mach her gown before moving away from the table and taking a place in the center of the hall. She waited for the change in music, a lively melody of cymbals and bamboo flutes. Seizing one end of the cloth, she began a modest yet intricate dance turning around and weaving large fluid circles with the silk about her head. 

"You see, Father Emperor," Li Longji leaned back in his chair, sipping his wine. "How blessed we are. I think I will take her for my first consort." 

Li Dan smiled at his son. "A toast then, to the future princess!" He raised the glass and drank heartily. 

The Crown Prince's eyes had returned to Lady Jiang, following her movements with an almost lewd fixation. He was utterly and entirely oblivious to anything else. Mulan shivered despite herself, over the past few days she had caught him gazing at Taiping in that very same way. 

"Your Majesty!" 

Lady Jiang dropped her banner with a shriek and ran to the Emperor. 

Every eye that had been so busy appreciating her talent, turned to fix itself in shock on Li Dan. He had slumped in his chair, head stirring fitfully from side to side, his eyes wild as he fought for breath. Shang was the first on his feet, he ran to Li Dan and caught him as he toppled over, dropping to his knees and holding him up in his lap to ease his breathing. 

"Uncle... Uncle... " Shang called to him over and over again, panic clear in his face. 

The Emperor turned his head towards him, opened his mouth in an attempt to speak but the words came out inaudible and strangled. A last convulsion shuddered through him before he fell limp in Shang's arms. 

A stunned silence pervaded for a long moment, an eternity it seemed. All they could do was stare. Mulan felt like she wanted to be ill, the Emperor had died right before her. 

Taiping and Longji were frozen, Lady Jiang's hands were still holding up her skirts raised when she had jumped out of Shang's way. Shang was kneeling with his face buried in his hands, struggling with himself. Another member of his family had died, his last uncle. The storm of emotions were tearing him apart then and there. 

When he finally lifted his head, he seemed a different man all together, shaken far beyond his capacity to reason. Mulan remembered his solemn and dignified sadness the first time he thought his father had died, the way he had been so strong in leading them. He seemed too tired for strength now, too broken for restraint and too lost for leading. All that remained was the raw anger and pain he had fought so hard to hide. He looked so destroyed. 

"That was clever, First Aunt," he was laughing and seething at the same time, almost like Anle, only more dangerous, a madman with lethal skills. "You poisoned his wine... clever." He chuckled unsteadily. 

Taiping recoiled physically as if struck. "Is that you what you think?" her voice was heavy with the hurt of his accusation. "I killed my own brother?" 

"You may as well have." Shang rose to his feet, glancing from her to the abandoned cup, his eyes hard and cold. "Either way, he died because of you. Because you dragged him here and used him to be your puppet. You heard what he said, he had a peaceful life. You can have the throne now, Taiping. I'm sure your mother would be proud of you. You can make me your next victim if you like. But please, Your Most August Majesty, spare my family." 

The Princess was very still, her face whitening. Mulan turned to her in a sense of helplessness. Surely she knew what to do. But she only sat there, tears beginning to collect in the corners of lowered eyes. 

"You son of a bitch!" Li Longji kicked back his chair, bounding to his feet with a drawn knife, lunging for Shang. 

Mulan waited for him to brandish a knife of his own and tussle with the other man, as he had done with the assassin on the journey from Louyang. But he made no such move for a weapon, he would not grace the other man with that much of his attention, he was too low, too detestable. In some powerful twist of his body too swift for her to see, he flung his cousin halfway across the dining hall. The irate and aghast Crown Prince rose on all fours, wiping blood from his mouth. The whole world could have burned with the hatred in their eyes as they stared down each other. Longji got to his feet, poised to strike again. 

This time Shang simply stood frozen, his eyes fixed on nothing, crazed. She felt her chest constrict in a sickening sense of powerlessness when he reached for the cup, a motion that even halted the furious Longji. 

"Taiping," he murmured, staring into the goblet, a stone mask replacing the anger on his face. "Is this what it takes to be free of you?" Slowly, he brought the glass to his lips. Mulan winced. 

_I've watched him run for years and don't think that hasn't hurt me._

The room stilled, her breathing stilled, too choked by the fear that he would drink the poison. But Shang was not watching her, his gaze was too intent on Taiping's face. Tears leaked from the other woman's eyes, like the fretful tears that Empress Wei had shed at knifepoint. Mulan heard a strangled sound and realized that it was her own sobbing. His eyes finally did find her, softening only slightly. Clenching one powerful fist, the cup shattered in his hand, letting the crystal shards crash in a chiming shower to the floor, spattering the rug with wine. 

Riverlets of blood grew in his open palm and went unnoticed, he simply closed his fist again and slowly moved from the room. 

His cousin followed after him, leaving the three women alone with the silence broken only by their muffled sobs. Mulan was vaguely aware of Lady Jiang's arms around her as Mulan cried against her shoulder.   



	22. Part II: Chapter Ten

rain10 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Lian-hua 

Chapter Ten: 

Tossing and turning drowsily, Shang tried once more to make himself comfortable on the sofa. He was groggy, tired and seething inwardly. One of the younger servants had brought him a blanket on her way out, just a girl maybe sixteen at most, but she seemed to take pity on him. He recalled her wide eyes when he had requested tea leaves and water to make his own tea, where he could see what went into it, adding a sedative to help him sleep. Surely she had heard His Majesty had been assassinated, surely she understood that even a young girl was not above his suspicions. 

Shang had not wanted to believe that Taiping poisoned his uncle's wine herself, but the only two suspects were she and Longji, and they were famous for conspiring together. Still, even if she hadn't, if she had just let him be, one more senseless death might have been prevented. In his heart, under the haze of the sleep drug, where all his inner truths lay, he deeply resented himself for making her weep tonight. Of all the things that had happened of late nothing seemed to phase her, why his words? For years he had believed in her, obeyed her blindly, and suddenly he realized that it was all for the wrong reason. Expectation led to disappointment, the wisdom of the Tao advised. But was it wrong to hope for a kind word, a fond embrace, to be someone's favorite? Taiping, who commanded such love and loyalty, yet all she did was use him and the people around him. A peaceful man like Li Dan deserved so much better than that. 

A fit of tension seized him as the door creaked open. Mulan would no doubt be furious to find him curled up on her sofa after what had happened tonight. But he didn't feel up to going back to the Officer's Quarters, the men there were drunk beyond coherency and far too happy for his patience right now. He would have slept in Tai-shan's room, but he had caught his friend and some officer drunk and kissing in the doorway, making enough noise to wake the dead as they groped all over each other. He cringed, Tai-shan would whore himself to anything that could scream his name. 

Shang told himself that he had chosen the sofa because it was easier on his back, sore from the morning practice. The real reason was that he was not so presumptuous as to crawl in her bed when it was quite possible she did not even wish to look at him. 

It did not surprise him in the least that she spotted him right away, she had the trained eye of a soldier after all. He remained still, and thought to pretend he was sound asleep. But his eyes did not seem to want to close, not with her to gaze at. It was a strange time to recall her lithe figure swaying to that sultry, foreign music. 

"Shang?" Her voice was trembling, more uneasy than angry, afraid perhaps. She never had a need to be afraid of him, no matter how much cause he gave her. "Are you alright?" He could not help but feel a pang to see the rigid set of her shoulders, stiff and uncomfortable in his presence. How had they become so distant? And how did they find that closeness again? 

He sighed, becoming more groggy by the moment; his body ached for sleep. "It's not every day your uncle dies in your arms. I told you, I never knew him. I guess it was too much to hope for that chance, and I was starting to like him." 

"How..." She took a step closer, swallowing. "How could you say what you said to Taiping tonight? It hurt her so deeply. And after she left you in charge of the Palace while she was gone. She trusted you." The words were sharp, accusing. 

"She used me." 

"She-" 

But he cut her off sharply. "In the two days she left me in the Palace, there were two attempts on my life. She must have known this, how dangerous it was, she knows everything. But I was expendable I suppose, just like my uncle." 

The hand she laid on his arm was almost pleading. "Shang, stop... think." 

Sitting up, he grabbed her hand, his grip rough. "It never stops, Mulan, that's just it. We'll all die one by one until there's nothing left, and for what? The whole world will just end. No more honor, no glory, no great Tang empire to fight for and preserve. But even then, Taiping will find a use for me." 

"Is it so bad taking orders from a woman?" There was a new bitterness in her that he had never heard before. 

What? That wasn't it at all. There were many women in his life that he loved and respected, Tie-lin, his mother, and her for starters. Mulan of all people should know he wasn't the sort of man who belittled women to soothe his own insecurity, that was not the way of a gentlemen. True, he expected more gentle and compassionate behavior from women, but that only made sense, and that had nothing to do with whom he chose to serve. He would give his loyalty to anyone who was trustworthy and honorable, and that was that. 

"That's going a bit far." 

Even in the dark, he knew she was scowling. "No further than accusing an innocent woman of killing a king." 

"At least I didn't kill her." He wasn't sure why he said that; it was a remark that was too cruel and cutting. That was not his intention. He only wanted her to drop the subject, to remind her that she wasn't so innocent, and in no place to criticize. It was a poor tactic, but he was not as clever nor as strong as her. He just wanted to sleep. 

She froze and stood silent for a long moment. "I think I'll get some sleep then," and without any invitation for him to join her, she turned and slammed the door to the inner chamber. 

~ * ~ 

Who would be Emperor now? That same question seemed to plague every corner of the Palace as Shang walked the halls the next evening. Some seemed in favor of Taiping, others Longji, some were more interested in who he was in favor of. Neither, but he kept that to himself. 

Luckily, he had slept through most of the day, it was well after noon when he finally woke and Mulan was already gone, at Taiping's side no doubt. He had spent the remaining afternoon with Tai-shan, keeping a taut guard around the Palace should any official think to seize his chance by making a move, tipping the balance of power and cracking through the instability. Once again Shang was forced to wonder why Taiping had not appointed Longji for this special duty, he had all the military influence. No doubt to keep her precious nephew from being hurt. Sacrificing Mulan wasn't enough, Taiping was now willing to sacrifice Tai-shan to her schemes as well. 

He was walking back to Mulan's rooms now, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, another chance at talking things over. Unfortunately, he had to pass by Taiping's rooms to do so, but he could at least peek in and see if Mulan was in fact there with her. 

The great doors were left open, the murmur of voices met his ears as he came upon them. Not Mulan, but Taiping and Longji. Taiping was seated on her sofa as she was wont, the prince kneeling at her feet, clutching her hand as if she were a lover. The picture was more than disturbing. Looking about, Shang saw no servants in sight, or anyone else to catch him eavesdropping. Stepping away from the door he made a clandestine effort to catch their words. 

"If you didn't kill my father than who did?" Longji's low voice was hushed, but of course, Li Dan's murder was nothing but a well guarded secret. He sounded more enraged than bereft, as if his father's assassination was a crime against his own honor, his own pride. Li Longji, such a shallow and unenlightened man. 

"I don't know." Taiping was very grave and sad. She had never been like this before, she was steel, wrapped in silk. If she was not strong, then who would be? It brought Shang a sense of alarm. Whether he liked it or not, the Empire had leaned on her. "I would like to know who killed a lot of people over the years. Perhaps it is my mother's ghost that will never leave me. This must end, all this murder and violence, after thirty years it is enough to make a woman lose her mind and rue the day she was ever born of the House of Li. I am so tired, nephew. Perhaps it is only my mother's bad karma that all her children are cursed." There something in the depth of those few riven words, something which bled through every angry thought he had of her. He felt his heart breaking. 

"But not you," Longji's voice dropped to a whisper, almost sensual, a tender caress. "You can never leave me. I love you too much." 

For the love of all his Ancestor's, that was his father's sister! How could Longji permit himself to feel something so sinful and perverse? Even worse, why did Taiping allow it? If she detested it she could have come to him, Shang would have done anything to keep this incestuous bastard from laying a hand on his aunt. He wondered how far this had gone, and even if Taiping was pleased by it. Or maybe she had invited it, twisted it, to her advantage. For that, he couldn't blame her. 

There was a long pause, but when Taiping spoke again her voice held a familiar reservation. She was clearly uncomfortable. "I will leave this world when it is time, nephew." Her emphasis on that word made her discomfort doubly plain. "And so will you." 

"Will we be together?" The amorousness was still there. "In Heaven? Promise me we will always be together." 

Taiping gave a long, sad sigh. "I don't know." 

Shang walked away from the door, unable to stand anymore of this. An inescapable guilt swam through his thoughts. He had been wrong about Taiping. Anyone who hurt that deeply deserved the utmost respect. 

~ * ~ 

"Shang?" 

At first he did not hear the uncertain voice behind him, he was so wrapped up in his thoughts. The noise of the Palace had grown too much, the fuss of the officials and ladies, leaving him no sane choice but to try and slip away quietly. He had managed to find a secluded spot in the garden, a pavilion under a small pond surrounded by stones, facing the hills which cradled the great city. Turned this way, with that view ahead of him and only the misty horizon and the night sky, he could forget he was even in a Palace garden. He could imagine himself anywhere. There was only the moon for light now, just a silver beam brushing the water, tracing the plum trees hanging overhead, even the air here held a welcome freshness, different from other parts of the garden. He found a new sense of serenity in this place. 

A light hand rested on his shoulder, repeating his name again before facing the horizon as he was. "Ch'ang-an, long lasting peace." This time he turned around. Taiping stood beside him, her arms at her sides, hands covered by the wide sleeves of her robe. She looked composed as ever now yet there was a change in her, a new openness in her features. She too must be tired of hiding. He sighed, Li Dan was her brother, why did he think she was beyond grieving for him? Because she did not show it? But what was that worth, he felt the loss deeply and he was often as cold and stoic as they came. 

"I found out who killed your uncle," she said quietly, lowering herself on the bench beside him. "There was a vial of poison in his robes, something you could make from herbs if you knew what you were doing. It was suicide. You notice how he kept toasting? I should have known something was wrong." 

Shang nodded, he had been rather fervid about it, as if he knew just how much of the poison he needed to drink. That left Shang even more puzzled. "Why would he do that? Poison his own wine right in front of us and make it look like an assassination?" Shang had been certain that it was someone in that room, all the wine that night had been poured from the same pitcher, yet only the Emperor had died. 

She seemed as perplexed as he was, and as somber. "When I asked him to take the throne, I was half sure he would refuse, though I could not tell anyone at the time. It was Li Longji who urged him. My brother has given up the throne once before, I think he took it now for the same reason he did then, to honor my father's memory. Maybe he was desperate, too ashamed to be remembered as a coward for an obvious suicide. But I'm sure he knew that if he died as Emperor, the throne was sure to pass to Longji, and not..." she paused uneasily. "Not to me." 

Longji, all Shang's suspicions now swirled around that name. How did she know the suicide wasn't forced? Strange that Longji was already choosing his consort when his father had not yet been crowned. But he did not dare voice this aloud, not after the earlier exchange he had overhead between them. It was not wise to step between two people's affections. 

"First Aunt," he said gently, turning to her. "I... I am sorry for everything I have said and thought." 

Her laughter was soft, but edged with melancholy. "No, I understand. My first suspect was Li Longji, the way he threw himself at you." He was shocked to hear her speak that way of her favorite nephew. Her eyes found his briefly, as if to seal this as a secret between them. Then she turned her gaze to the black horizon, before lifting it to the stars. "You remind of myself when I was your age. Every time something unbearable happened I blamed my mother. I suppose it was because I thought she was so strong, so powerful, that she could stop anything terrible from happening, and when she didn't I hated her because I felt she hadn't tried hard enough." He found himself nodding, that was exactly it. "But after she died, and I was forced to walk a mile in her shoes, I realized that she didn't have that kind of power after all. She was just a woman struggling to hold her head up in a man's world." 

"Take the throne," it did not bother him that he was pleading with her. "I will... I will help you fight for it against Li Longji if you want." It would be all the better for his country. Surely a wise and experienced woman would do better at managing the empire than an incestuous pervert. 

"The throne is the last thing in the world that I want, nephew," she replied with a shake of her head. Her sigh was one of sad resolution. "I know this empire needs a man to keep the people happy." 

It seemed such a silly thing to hold her back. "But you are capable." Much more so than Li Longji, who would probably care for nothing but the state of his harem, military hero or no. 

"But I am not a man," her voice was firm now. "The throne will go to Li Longji, the people love him for his accomplishments, they will follow him. You know I will not be around forever. He will need you. Forget whatever strife you have between you, you two are the last men left of this family." 

His nod was grudging, he would do this for his country, not Li Longji. "I hope for a family of my own someday." That is, if he and Mulan ever found their way again. But of course they would, they had to. 

"Your wife tells me she suspects she may be with child already, though it is too early to know for certain." Shang raised a startled eyebrow, she had not told him this. Already he could feel himself growing anxious over the prospect. 

Still, he tried to take the news calmly. "Is she happy?" 

Taiping gave a hint of a smile. "Of course. But you must remember something. When your child is born, do not give the child a great name, lest she grow up to be always disappointed in herself. The burden of living for other peoples hopes can crush a young spirit." He nodded again, he was all too familiar with that misery. 

"I have treated Mulan badly, and you." He sighed. "I feel so honorless." 

"No," she squeezed his hand. "It is men like you who let me sleep at night. You choose honor over love, what woman cannot admire that in a nephew or a husband. Love confuses us, clouds our reason, but honor lets us always act with integrity and our heart in the right place. I know that when I... when I am gone, you will always be here to do your duty." Her fingers brushed his cheek with open affection, almost motherly. "I am proud of you." 

He smiled, trying not to be overcome by emotion. In all his life, no one had ever said those words to him before. Now he understood how Mulan must have felt when she stood before the Emperor that long ago day in the Palace. But it was Taiping who reached out to embrace him. The worst was over now, everything seemed to subside. Only one thing remained to make right. 

~ * ~ 

Curled up on the sofa in her inner chamber, Mulan pulled her night robe closer around her. She was not cold, only restless, It had been more than an hour since she had bathed and combed her hair for bed and still she had not moved from the sofa. One of the servants had just come and gone, with a message that she had spotted Shang outside, speaking with Taiping. Although the news was noteworthy, Mulan wondered what command of hers had been misconstrued into orders to spy on the man. 

She had not seen Shang at all today, aside from being fast asleep in the parlor when she left early this morning. It was not like him at all to sleep late, but she left him alone, he seemed content enough to stay that way. He must have stayed that way for quite some time in fact, when she had returned late in the day he was gone already, busy with Tai-shan and his duty to keep the Palace secure. She had spent the greater part of the morning with Taiping, there were funeral arrangements to oversee, though Taiping had voiced nothing in regards to Li Dan's murderer, odd since she had been very vocal about Anle. 

In the afternoon, Mulan had helped Lady Jiang prepare her sword dance for Li Longji's upcoming coronation, and had not returned to her own chambers until three hours ago. Now her feet ached terribly from dancing in the too small shoes that were all the rage among the performers. Who ever heard of dancing in too small shoes? But dancing was a destruction from the solemnity which clung to the Palace these days. 

Her heart fluttered nervously when she heard the door, and sure enough a silk clad figure was standing there, watching her hesitantly from across the candle lit room. She searched his face, he seemed calm now, pacified, not angry nor on the verge of violence anymore. In fact, he looked almost happy. She smiled at him, it was hard not to, after the tiring events of the past week it was a relief to see something of his former self. 

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly, seeing the carelessly tossed shoes on the wooden floor and the way she groaned when she set her feet down to sit up properly. 

"The shoes hurt," was all she said. It was hard, she just did not know what to say to him anymore. 

He nodded, giving the shoes a funny look. Without a word he crossed the room towards her and reached for the basin on the table, filling it with the jug of clear water that had been left closed after her bath for her face and hands before bed. At first she thought nothing of it, only that he was likely as tired as she and wanted to prepare for bed himself. She watched quietly as he took a bottle of oil - one in a collection of many left to soothe the aches and pains of martial arts practices - emptying its tawny contents into the water. The scent was sharp at first when it bit the air, smelling of spices and faint notes of grapefruit, stirring her senses until she could not breathe enough of it. 

But then, he dropped to his knees before her, pulling one of the deep pink roses from a vase on the nearby hearth, gently edging the center open with two fingers, plucking the more fragrant inner petals and scattering them in the water, taking another and doing the same. The soft rose scent did not clash with the full-bodied herb, but mingled, adding a soothing undertone of sweetness. She blinked, enchanted by the strange scent, the beauty of the crimson petals floating in the water, of him kneeling so quietly at her feet in his finery, unconcerned with the soaked cuffs of his silk sleeves. 

A blush crept into her cheeks when he placed her sore feet in the fragrant water. She sighed in pleasure before she realized it; the water was warm and the oil made her flesh sting until all the blood rushed to her toes, relieving the pain. He took her foot in one hand and a coarse ball of sponge soaked in something else in the other, dipping it in the water and then against the tender flesh of her foot, rubbing in circles until she could freely spread her toes again. Taking the other foot he did the same, until both had been thoroughly washed and massaged. 

She found herself smiling at him as he dried each foot on the bottom of his robe, but her efforts only earned her a gentle chiding. "Too small shoes are only for women with ugly feet." 

Mulan blushed, it was a high compliant for a man to say a girl had pretty feet, especially a peasant girl. She let him climb up beside her on the sofa, pushing up the wet sleeves of his robe. They stared at each other, as if the idiocy of their recent quarrels and exchanges were unimaginable to them now, and then in the next moment were clinging to each other like two people afraid of themselves. 

He ran a hand through her hair a moment, her face buried in his shoulder. "You know I love you, Mulan." It was so somber and humble. 

They remained that way for a long moment, until she gently drew back, smoothing the hair from her face. A sense of relief washed over her, something she had not felt in many days. "I'm tired," she began quietly, her hands still on his shoulders. But then she stood and walked barefoot a few steps across the room. "I think I'll go to bed now." Pausing in the doorway, she turned around slowly. He had not moved from the sofa but was still watching her. Her sudden smile was shy. "You can come too, if you want." 

The offer was not as clever nor artful as one an experienced wife might have made. But however awkward and coy, Shang understood. He shrugged off the wet shirt and followed after her.   



	23. Part II: Epilogue

rain11 **THE LONG SPELL OF RAIN**   
By Pooky 

Chapter Eleven: 

The coronation for Li Longji was held three days later. When the sun rose in a remarkably clear sky that morning the city deemed the day most auspicious, lifting the fog of tragedy which had surrounded the capital for many, many years. At last, the people would have a strong king, not a puppet, not an effigy, but one who would truly lead them. Because the sun god was said to smile on the city that morning, Li Longji declared himself _Ming Huang_, the Shining Emperor. 

Shang stood on the high platform overlooking the Great Square, watching the masses gathered below press each other eagerly for a better look at their new sovereign. The festivities in the streets had begun at dawn, and the feasting would last for many days after. Even Shang was able to put his enmity aside and appreciate the joy of the occasion. Longji - Emperor Xuanzong - looked nothing less than regal, proud, strong. It was just what the country needed. 

Mulan was beside him, looking almost stately herself in her formal armor. They had been standing there for hours while the ritual blessings and prayers were said, adorned for decoration, but secretly charged with keeping their eyes on the crowd. Soldiers had been placed all around the square, and the city. They had come too far to lose their new king now. 

Finally they turned, joining the procession back into the Palace where the banquets and entertainment would start, lasting into the night. The dancers had already begun performing in the brightly decorated halls, but Shang did not catch sight of Lady Jiang. 

"Shang, Mulan," a voice whispered urgently behind him, attempting to be discrete and carry over the noise of the crowd at the same time. It was Tai-shan, catching his breath as though he had been running, his face troubled. Shang felt a twinge of fear, afraid his friend had come to inform him of some rebel activity inside. They had worked out a plan yesterday though in case of that. He grabbed Tai-shan and Mulan in each arm, ushering them out of the way where they could talk. "It's Princess Taiping, she sent me to find both of you. She wants to see you now, she's in her rooms. I think you'd better hurry, Shang." 

Nodding, Shang still held Mulan's arm. "Stay here a few more minutes and then follow me, so it doesn't look too suspicious." 

Leaving her with Tai-shan, he slipped out of the hall, running when there were no guards or servants in sight. The entire morning he had been worried about Taiping, there was no sign of her during the coronation at all. Surely the Emperor's aunt had every right to be there. But perhaps she was not feeling well, perhaps she preferred to watch from inside the Palace, It would be uneasy, to face that crowd which hated Wu Zetian, but Taiping was stronger than that. 

It was odd that no guard or servant stood outside her door. Shaking his head he pushed it open gently, hesitantly at first, before stepping inside. The room was empty, silent, she appeared to be dozing where she lay on the sofa, propped up by the pillows. 

"First Aunt," he called softly. "First Aunt, wake up. The banquet has started. The people are already cheering Li Longji." 

But she would not wake. He stepped closer, dropping to one knee, gently shaking her arm. He drew his hand back instantly, she was stiff and heavy. His eyes sought her face, her cheeks russet as though from a fever, her mouth drawn and white. He rested a shaking hand against one side of her head, the flesh was cold, there was no pulse in the vein through the temple. No, he blinked frantically, this had to be a dream. 

There was a half emptied goblet of wine on the table, beside a letter on pale parchment. It was addressed to him. Kneeling there, he unfolded it slowly, he could almost hear her voice as he read the words. 

> _When you find this, you may wonder why. I don't know if you can understand the answer. With my birth the people hoped for _Tai Ping_, great peace, yet in my lifetime China has only seen one long spell of rain. It is no wonder that my yearning for death is almost like a thirst, a thirst for the next world which I believe is a much more beautiful place. Wu Zetian's ghost will flee with the last of her children. Yet my death is so much brighter than my birth, because once her shadow is lifted, the rain will stop and my people will find _Tai Ping_ at last._

Clutching the letter in his unsteady hands, he lowered his head and then pressed his forehead to the carpet before her, the way he often had when she was still alive. It wasn't until the door opened again that he realized he was crying. Mulan took in the sad scene in one glance before coming to kneel beside him. 

"You were right," she said softly, on the verge of tears herself. "It is a bloody story." 

He nodded, taking in the silk figure, arms folded over her middle, the still features. Was that the thing they called eternal peace? "It feels so strange." 

"I wanted something more than to be a village wife, and you wanted to be free of her. I guess we should be careful what we wish for. We got what we wanted in the end." She sighed heavily. 

"Tie-lin says things happen precisely as they should, but it isn't supposed to be like this." 

Her fingers curled around his, he clung to her hand for comfort. "I can't imagine what it was like to be her. She watched her whole family die." 

"I can," his thoughts swam with remorse again, he sighed painfully. "I can never forget when I discovered you were a woman, when I had to choose between you and the law. I've never felt such pain. There is nothing worse than learning too late what your duty means, when you can't escape it." He sighed again, unable to take his eyes off the poisoned cup, remembering. "And all this time, she was the only one who understood me." 

"I understand you," her voice was a low whisper. His faint smile was grateful. 

They just knelt there in silence, clinging to the other's hand, like any other grieving husband and wife.   



End file.
